Wedding Day Memories/the Special ones

Good timing, RP and I just watched the video again.

Hmm, I dunno about great significance, but we were struck by how funny the whole thing was. And, the ceremony and reception were very religious - way more religious than we are or were. But that was the Rabbi's doing, it was his first wedding after graduating Rabbinical School.

So, funny stuff (which to us is good, and kinda significant) -
in a Jewish wedding, both parents walk the groom and bride down the aisle. RP and his parents go without a hitch. Then it's my turn with my folks (keep in mind they were not a part of the rehearsal dinner as they had been busy entertaining out of town guests). We get about 3/4 of the way down and stop (this is normal). They were supposed to lift my veil, kiss me good-bye, put the veil back, then walk the rest of the aisle and go under the chuppah (that's the canopy). I would then wait for RP to escort me to the chuppah.

Note that the operant word here is: 'supposed'.

They lift my veil. Check. Kiss me good-bye. Check. Then the front of my veil (it was a two-piece number) fell off my face and onto my bouquet. Oops. This wasn't supposed to happen. Now, I'm holding a ton of flowers so I can't do anything. My Dad looks at my Mom. My Mom looks at Dad. Then Dad realizes he's gotta take the bull by the horns. He ends up putting the veil back on, as best as he could. It had combs in it so that it would stick in my hair. Ouch.

Then, as they're walking away, you can hear very clearly on the video, my mother saying to my father, "See, I told you we'd screw it up!"

Those photos are some of the best smiles in the entire video and still photo album.

There are also some rather funny moments as people doing line dances (we were married in '92, the Electric Slide was popular) mess up. :-D

Oh yeah, one thing that was significant, which I have never seen before or since (this was probably due to the Rabbi's religious bent, but it was kinda mystical), was the veiling of the bride. The idea is to commemorate the story of Jacob and Leah and Rachel - e. g. the groom takes a look at the bride and makes sure she's the right woman before he puts the veil on her. We also signed our marriage license and the ketubah (the Jewish marriage license) at that time. The tiny room (it was the caterer's office) was packed with people. We talked about the story of Jacob, and then said prayers and RP put the veil on me. And after that, everything was very misty and (I was also not wearing my glasses) that really drove the point home for me as to how important and serious the whole thing is. Yeah, we had fun, but the veiling and signings were serious business.

Watching the video also brought home things like, who is gone (one of the witnesses to the ketubah signing, etc.), who is divorced (one of the witnesses to our state marriage license, etc.), and who is now married or now has kids (my brother, etc.). Kind of a bittersweet time, watching the video, you see someone sitting at a table and you realize suddenly that that's the only footage you're ever going to have of them, because they've died. Hmm.

Aw. I had a shoestring wedding, and no video -- I have maybe 2 minutes that my uncle took and gave to me, which I am incredibly grateful for, as it is so different from what my memory is. I remembered being absolutely frazzled and overwhelmed, and in the video I look calm and really, really happy.

The frazzled and shoestring parts combine for the immediate thing I think of with my wedding -- I designed and sewed my wedding dress, and by the night before it was about, oh, 1/3 done. I ended up being sewn into it right about when I was supposed to be arriving at the chapel. It was supposed to have a zipper, ditched it as taking too much time. Luckily my aunt, who did the sewing, is an accomplished seamstress, and the bodice-ripping was kinda fun that night...

Then, the best man knocked over a big bouquet just as he began doing his reading -- he handled it with great aplomb, though, picked out a single red rose from the bouquet on the floor, placed it carefully back in the vase, and went back to the reading. :-) Things went more smoothly after that.

I loved the ceremony, it was sweet and funny and made everyone cry. It was a big mish-mash of this and that, got married in an old temple that has become a park building, had all kinds of different traditions and references. (We were married by a justice of the peace, we put together the ceremony.) For example, we each walked down the aisle alone, and then had a simple ceremony where each family welcomed the spouse-to-be into the family -- like my family welcomed E.G., and his family welcomed me. It was sweet.

Okay we had two weddings....that's right two...
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Wedding #1. RENO Nevada Starlite chapel. Both of us dressed in Jeans and shirts, no witnesses other than than the staff of the Starlite Chapel right across the street from the courthouse.

The JP kept calling me IVA, instead of ian, wife can't keep a straight face. But we kiss and that's that. We wanted to get a jump on the immigration process that was changing that summer.

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Wedding number 2 - We get my wife's parently flying from England, then we have to ferry between San Fran airport and San Jose where the wedding chapel is. All my wife's girlfriends from England, Ireland, and girls she worked with in Canada and Switzerland. HOT HOT HOT !!!! LOL especially Nicola.

Angela from Australia was already with us, and my buddies were over on the base already. My dad and my stepmom came out. They stayed with friends of ours which was fine, didn't want them in the motel with me.

Any way that night my best man takes me out to the strip club...well juice club since they were in bathing suits. which was cool. we went back to his place and got drunk and my wife comes in to find me nearly passed out.

She says that english tradition is for the guy to drop his drawers for all bridesmaids to see what she's marrying. LOL my friends couldn't believe it so I started half dropping my pants right there on the spot.

Then my wife collects me up takes me out with girlfriends instead cause someone got lost from the group and she was really drunk...i felt this hand on me and well i looked around and it wasn't my wife it was her friend...so i discreetly backed away and walked out to get my wife. We got the drunk back to the motel and she starts spazzing out...she wants to call her man in switzerland but is too drunk to operate the phone. So then she starts screaming and beats herself over the head with the phone...nearly gets us all tossed out of the motel. I finally at 3am get her on a taxi back to the airport for the first plane back to switzerland...more on that later....

so finally we get about 4 hours sleep and my stepmom wants to meet us all for breakfast to get all the plans set up etc. My wife and I were just going to have the wedding at the chapel, then dinnersomewhere afterwards with friends.

Stepmom rented out an entire B and B high in the Santa Cruz Mountains...we had our reception there instead. But she showed her true colors almost the entire time.

We got our restaurant directions screwed up there were three of the same restaurant on the same road about 10 miles apart...we all met at one,,,then her and my dad showed up late. My friend Will could see the look of pissed off in her eyes. My dad was laughin about the entire process, but all the details were settled and we had to go out with parents for the day. Uggh.

My dad was fine. my stepmom well she just had a ton of questions and totally upset my wife,,,and everyone saw how she treated me. They just could not believe it. I didn't notice anything out of the ordinary since i was used to it.

Back to swissie girl...she has to come back to bother us because she forgot her ticket...no words exchanged nothin...fine by us we didn't know what to say.

well we spent that day with my parents and getting my wife ready for the weeding that afternoon...it was the end of october i wanted to get married on Halloween but that was mid week that year so we settled for Oct. 26th.

The ceremony was in a small chapel on the base the chaplain was great i got photos of him goofing around with us after the ceremony making horns on my head etc for the camera with my best man.

My wife gown was a gorgeous white with a pretty white veil. I got married in my dress blues and my best guys wore their blues as well.

We all than drove up to the B and B...we toasted with champagne (ewww) sorry. Then danced, our music man was the local coffee shop guy that we used to listen to with her and her girlfriend from new zealand who liked me as well, a little TOO much.

The wedding gifts and cards and my best man having everybody in the place in tears with stories about me, except for my stepmother she turned in early. It was fun to get drunk with my dad...seeing him pick up bottles with his teeth hang his arms wayyyyyy out and chug down beers.

But my wife was upset with another "friend" we made reservations for them months in advance for a nearby hotel...but they lost them and the place was booked up...she was really upset at my wife. So her husband apologized and they left never to be heard from again.

And then the dinner down the hill...that was fun till the bill came out. My stepmom was being totally bitchy yet again everyone trying to figure it all out.

but we all finally crashed and packed up the next day.

I said goodbye to my dad but i noticed my father in law had my stepmom off to the side...talking to her.
he's a short little british guy, cool as hell very quietly spoken with a good outlook on life. But she left from him in a rather sour mood. Worked for me she was out of my hair.

So we left the B and B,,,and guess what i got for a honeymoon present ?

Camping with 5 women all by myself. My wife and her 4 girlfriends in a little KOA cabin. We had a good time I cooked some good food built a fire, and two of the girls from ireland wanted a drink so they went out into town.

We'd thought they hit the applebee's but alas no...we found them sitting in front of a restaurant that said Bar B Q......they were inside drinking coffee with sour looks on their faces.

I had to walk outside cause i was about to bust a gut laughing...but we all went to applebees instead had some drinks and call it a night.

Next week i sent a letter home to my parents...telling them i was really pissed off about my stepmom treated me and my all our friends and that i didn't how much they did or didn't do it didn't make up for such awful behavior and I got the silent treatment for six months...which is the way i wanted it LOL...

But we were poor then...poor now even but with three kids LOL...

I have a 6 year old boy Mackay Alexander
a 4 year old boy Cade James
and a 2 year old girl Chloe Olivia.

best three things to happen to me...

well my fingers are a bit sore from this...been writing it off and on for over three hours...hope you enjoyed it.

and i've been married 8 years this October 26th.

Our marriage was the second for both of us. We'd already done the whole-nine-yards thing at our parents' expense, and once was enough for both of us. We were 28 and 30 when we married and had been financially independent from our parents for many years. We had different ideas on how we wanted to spend our money the second time. The operative theme was: Spend the most money on what will take the longest time.

We took my brother and sister and a couple we knew and went to a small wedding chapel in a rundown neighborhood. The "chapel" was an old, pink bungalow with a tacky sign out front. Rather musty inside...too many silk flowers that hadn't been dusted for years, and torn satin draperies. But who was looking at the room? We were looking at each other. The minister was very old and sweet, and we were allowed to tailor the vows a bit. We paid $20 for the ceremony (which included an audiotape) and sprung the extra $5 for a polaroid photo. (It was well worth it. It's still my all-time favorite photo of us.) Our guests also brought their own cameras, so we got plenty of free, candid pictures. If you count the fact that I bought a new white linen suit and peach satin blouse and single flowers for hubby and myself to wear, we spent a grand total of $150 on the ceremony. It took 30 minutes.

The wedding dinner would last a couple of hours, so it merited a larger budget. The six of us had a fabulous private dinner at an elegant, gourmet restaurant with an expensive floral centerpiece (each guest took a rose from the arrangement as a souvenir.) Blush wine and a custom, fondant-covered peach cake completed the meal. Cost? $500.

We splurged on the honeymoon, since it would last two weeks. We took a 1-week Caribbean cruise that stopped midway on its itinerary so we could spend a week on Barbados. Cost? $6,000.

It was all perfect. Wouldn't do it a bit differently if I planned it today.

(Except maybe inviting my brother. )

That was 21 years ago. Looking at him, I can hardly believe it's been that long. He's still the same tall-dark-and-handsome, kind, funny, food-obsessed man I married, God love 'im. I was a lucky girl.

Enjoyable reading Ian!

My in-laws paid big bucks for the wedding but they weren't too happy about their daughters choice..lol
I was uncomfortable at the church ceremony since I'd never been at a service in a church. But my roomate sang a gorgeous "Ave Maria" which I will never forget. Since I was playing in two bands at the time they were both hired and the music was awesome. My wife got up and sang "Take This Job And Shove It" which really perplexed my parents.
We partied all night in our hotel room and since this was the cocaine 80's a lot of the guests brought little baggies with them. Just as the sun rose we took off down 95 for Miami to catch a flight to Jamaica for our honeymoon. All in all a great set of memories.

Though it wasn't MY wedding (it was my kid brothers, that I was a member of the party for) I have two.

1. My brother taking me home from the rehersal dinner and me finally getting to thank him for helping me out a few years ago by deciding to call me on the phone (long story).

2. The rest of the groom's party deciding to feed me shots of various alcholic beverages.

First wedding. Bride wanted a whit cloth runner down the center aisle. Priest said they didn't permit that becuase the had these huge old hot air vents on the floor and they didin't want anyone to put a heel where they shouldn't and jurt themselves. I said they 'didn't want a fall from grates.' Got two blank stares...

Wedding night. Bride in tears after talking to her mother for an hour on the phone 'This was the best day of my life... and now it's OVER!'

... that one was doomed from the beginning ...

Second wedding. We were having the reception in the backyard. Rehersal dinner. My family and hers meeting. So, while I'm tending the grill, we have all the gusts do the yard decorating. We bought a case (122) of pink plastic flamingoes. As an Ice-breaker, we had the families strew falmingoes about the premises

Bride (of five years) just came down and interuppted me... read some of this. We are in agreement: our wedding day was a very good day, but not the best day of our lives. They keep getting better.