Depressed

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Hi...I am not sure why I am writing this although I am not sure about anything right now. I worked for the same company for 13 years , started from the bottom and worked my way up into the corporate office. I had prior to this job was divorced after a 19 year terrible marriage though I did however get my miracle baby boy whom I then raised alone :-) he does make me smile. I put alot of pressure on my self to provide for him the best I could, working 2 jobs if needed. I helped both of my Boys when ever they needed help and didn't think of myself as I believed taking care of your kids was more important. I took my job very personal and was very good at it although I didnt fit in with the rest of the girls. They partied together and did outside activities that I just didn't feel comfortable doing. After 13 years of being devoted to my job the head queen decided that I just didn't fit in and was going to demote me to another job outside the corporate office with about $2000 pay cut. She had already demoted me 3 years prior to this last attempt with a man whom did not have any knowledge about the company and I trained him to do my job which broke my heart though having a job was very important to me so I did it. Then I trained 2 other people to help with the department. I knew almost every aspect of this company as I had done almost every job so I was the perfect candidate to train. These people I worked with were my second family, the folks I talked to daily on the phone also were my family. After Christmas of 2014 I returned to work and was asked to go upstairs and that is when She gave me the paper to sign for my demotion and that is when I asked why and she told me I just wasn't a good fit. I have not stopped crying since.....I can't stop crying. My heart hurts so deeply! I did not take the other job as it is one that held a lot of bad memories for me as I had already been there and couldn't go there again. I was embarrassed of myself and couldn't do it. I am on unemployment making minimum wage basically and do not have the confidence in myself to move on I guess. I do have family that has helped and will help when needed though I am such an independent woman and very prideful it is hard for me to ask. This is the first time I have done anything like writing on a forum so I am not sure how to end this. I don't understand life! I don't understand why my whole life has been a struggle and why I would have to have to learn any more lessons as what more is there? I have almost done it all and not good.

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@Dianalynn62,

I am sorry ...my Post sounds ridiculous and I wish I could delete it. There is so much more though I feel like I sound like a cry baby. Does anyone know how I can delete my Post?

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Diana - you do NOT sound ridiculous!

I imagine it was the first time you have expressed yourself about this entire episode. Often, seeing it in one's own writing does help. Talking helps, too.

What I picked up from your post was a long litany of serving others - at the expense of yourself. And a lot of accepting things from other people and at work. Perhaps you got that reputation of accepting whatever anyone told you to do, no questions asked. When everyone got what you had, then you became dispensable.

When your boss told you that you "didn't fit in" - why didn't you challenge her? Why didn't you ask her "How so?"

You whimpered instead of being assertive and challenging.

Surely, you have shown you have skills. You were a devoted employee! You trained other people! You helped build a business! You did all that and raised kids, too!

Write down EVERY skill and EVERY thing you did for that company. I bet you will be surprised about your own capabilities. You just have to get the attitude to match.

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@Dianalynn62,

Hi Diana,

You know I was quietly gotten rid off after 17 years working for the same Company. My "then" Boss was my mentor. I knew too much about the Company and implemented things that worked but wasn't what they wanted, which didn't make sense to me as it made them money... Then it hit me, in my case, I caught a thief, I told the owner but un-be-known to me, he was "meant" to steal the cash to keep the books low "for the owner" Smile

So you see it's not about lessons all the time with life, sometimes it's about you being too clever for your own good. I would suspect that you were a threat to "Queen Bee" and continued to be. She couldn't fire you so demotion was the only thing left.

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off. You were good at your job, good as a Mum and would be as a wife, you picked the wrong husband.

Go buy yourself something, lipstick something and stand by your acclaim of all you are worth and put together that Resume and stand tall...

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@PUNKEY,

Dear Punky-Thank you so very much for your reply. I really didn't think that I would get one and it was very kind of you. I would like to explain why I didn't challenge her. I live in one of properties that this company owns and saying anything to her might have jeopardized my living situation and causing problems has always been hard for me..saying what I feel is hard. Since my departure my rent has been raised $500 and I live 2 blocks away from the office. I tried to go to our cities unemployment office today to get started on my Resume and I found an excuse to leave. I know that I should feel confident and that I have numerous skills in many different areas though heart still breaking and understanding why is my biggest road block. Again I thank you and I hope you well :-) You are a very kind person
Diana

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@Dianalynn62,

You don't need to delete this post.
Believe me, its the story of each one of us with some minor change. Some of us will be suffering even more than this. All you need to do is to face the circumstances with courage and have faith that good days will start soon and then you will hardly think about your old days.
Learn from your bad days and try to turn that energy to motivate yourself so that you can achieve whatever you are looking for.
Best of luck...

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@FOUND SOUL,

Hi... Sorry it has taken me so long to reply. Thank you for your kind words.
I do believe I might have been a threat as I did know things that they in the office would not want the owner of the company to know. I guess that is why she offered something she thought I would take. I am sorry about what happened to you also..It is like a Death and a Divorce and is hard to recover from. Each day I try a little harder to get over it though then something happens like them raising my rent and notices on my door. I know I will survive as I always have though what a tough ride.

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@Chris Mackenzy,

Thank you for your reply and I am certainly wishing for not thinking about it and getting over and done with it. Thank you Chris

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@Dianalynn62,

Survivors after feeling flat, get mad and even and pick themselves up, dusts themselves off and actually go onto bigger and better things, I did Smile

Diana, if you were the victim of wrong and you knew things that the owner of the Company didn't, ask yourself two questions, as your case is different.

1. If you were the owner would you like to know?

2. Is your Resume worth tarnishing by this Queen Bee or are you going to ensure your reputation is as it should be.

You could advise the owner in a clear, precise way and suggest that he find out for himself by perhaps putting someone in there without the knowledge of this woman as in that person's real reason for being there. To confirm what occurred.

You may find that you get re-instated, or that he gives you a glowing reference either way you win.

It's not a revenge thing, rather standing up for your rights.

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