Why the hell would you ever even so much as consider escalating the intimacy of a relationship where violence and isolation are escalating?
Forget his ex. What's she is doing is immaterial.
This man tried to choke you. He calls you nasty names.
Do you need a black eye or to lose a few teeth before you figure out what's going on?
Get out now. Breakups are always easier, faster, and cheaper than divorces. Get out while you're younger, have less debt, and don't have any kids.
Contact your parents or friends and ask to stay with them until you get on your feet. Ask friends (yes, guy friends) to help you move your stuff out.
Then do it.