How to know to call it quits?

Forums: Help, Kids, Seperation, Young Marriage
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I've been married for almost 3 years now to a man I realize now I was never really in love with(I was 17 and he was 18). We now have two kids under 2 and I cannot stand this man sometimes. I feel unappreciated and we have absolutely no respect for each other and he is so selfish which I know comes with his age(21). I love him because he is the father to my kids but I cannot imagine spending the rest of my life feeling the way I do... I want to be with him and stay married but I think I am wanting him to be someone he will never be. We don't ever have conversations about ANYTHING. like NEVER. And to me that is just crazy. we don't enjoy each others company and he doesn't do much to help me with the kids much but he does work fulltime and then the days he has off he goes and does whatever he wants and I'm at home with both kids all the5 time and I work part time. but I'm up all hours of the night with both kids and am exhausted most of the time. but all I do is "sit on my ass all day". I am just so Fed up with everything and he says he's in love with need but I don't think he even knows what that means to be honest. he defiantly doesn't show it. The thought of divorce makes me cringe I think we need to split and rekindle late possibly? I just want what's best for the kids and I don't think us arguing all of the time is going to do it... please help any and all oppions are appreciated.

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View best answer, chosen by shelly542012

@shelly542012,

You are still very young, both of you and the responsibility for 2 young kids can be overwhelming. I think before you throw in the towel, try to get couple therapy. You both need to learn how to function as a family and you need to understand and respect each other. If you can't make it work after all the avenues are exhausted, then you should talk about a trial separation at first.
Divorce is not easy, especially when 2 kids are involved and neither of you has money to burn.

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@shelly542012,

It think that couple's counseling and marriage relationship classes would be a good idea. The need is urgent. Both of you need to take a good hard look at behaviors. This will take some time.

In the meanwhile some compromises are in order. Can you got some help with the kids and/or the housework laundry chores if for no other reason than to take a break -- even for 2-4 hours per week. that can give you the break you need to get refreshed and have alone time.

If you don't you'll burn out for certain. I'd think about couples counseling seriously if I were you. Your both are young but so you can both learn a new way of relating to one another before it's too late.

What is most likely best for kids is to have the love of both parents in a peaceful harmonious setting...either as a couple or separately.

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How to know to call it quits?

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