What to do?

Okay, I've been married for almost 9 years now, and my wife and I are reasonably happy. We work, we have a reasonable life, we have some kids, we have regular sex, etc.

Now I've known for awhile that my wife has bisexual tendencies. I don't necessarily have a problem with that, but now I'm in a situation that I'm not sure how to handle.

Yesterday my wife went to a gay pride rally, which started at 3, and didn't get home until 2 A.M. I knew this was a possibility. She doesn't care about gay pride, she was just looking for a girlfriend. She met a girl, but in the end nothing happened physically. She got the girl's phone number and isn't sure how she's going to follow it up.

She arrived home tipsy, and when I put her to bed, her kitty had the smell of a woman who has been very wet for a very long time. I could smell it from across the room – it was that strong. So I'd say that although she has never done anything with a woman, it's more a lack of opportunity than a lack of interest.

I'm willing to have an open relationship as I'm really not that emotionally bonded to my wife. She's attractive and has a great body, but we've never really clicked the way I wanted. I married her because she was pregnant, and I needed papers to stay in Peru. Besides, I had no intention of letting my kids grow up in a bad situation.

Anyway she's very interested in an open relationship from her side but not for my side. She wants to be able to see whomever she wants but to control whom I see, talk to, or sleep with. Initially she said that her worry was that if she got a girlfriend that I'd get one too. Well, obviously!

So her solution was to say that she could have a girlfriend and I could have a boyfriend. Well, I'm not gay. I've experimented, but I've never looked at a guy (not even an actor) and thought, "Wow. I'd so do him." Still, I thought, "What the heck... let's see where this goes." We went to a gay bar maybe six months ago, and sat back to back like we were friends and not a couple. She was looking to meet a girl, and she said I could meet a guy.

Well, I'm a good-looking guy, and it didn't take long before guys were walking past the table and casting meaningful glances my way. Then two "girls" walked past, and although I don't know how they look in the harsh light of day, but in the dimness of the discotheque they looked very passable. Well, my wife went into a jealous fit over that, and she insisted that I dance with her, take her home, and have my way with her – something I accepted right away.

Afterwards she said that if I wanted to have a gay relationship, that it had to be with a muscular guy who would be the "man" of the relationship and that I would need to adopt the role of the "woman." However, she is looking for one of the butch dykish kind of girls who is playing the part of the guy. Is this fair? She told me that at the disco she went to last night there was a femme girl who kept making eye contact with her, but that she wasn't interested in the girl because she was looking for someone more manly.

Well, if the point of this is to have a threesome, then those femme girls are the ones to try for because I seriously doubt that a butch will view me as anything but competition. I don't know what to think. I'm trying to stay open and supportive, but it seems like there's a double-standard going on.

What I really want is a girl – a nice, intelligent, interesting one that I can talk to and have sex with. My wife is a great gal and a good mother – don't get me wrong. She's just kind of boring to talk to. I've been trying to supplement the marriage with interesting friends or discussion fora, but it's not the same as having a wife who's interesting for more than her body.

Of course, one solution is just to cheat. However, cheating involves lying, betrayal, and a lot more meticulous attention to detail than I'm willing to put into it.

Suggestions?