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What should I do with this guy? Should I go for it???

 
 
Maru
 
Reply Thu 9 Apr, 2015 04:25 pm
I will try not ot extend myself but the story is a bit long for you to understand. A few days ago during my Easter days off with my family (cousins, aunts, etc) we all went to my aunts house near the beach. One of my cousins arrived earlier in the days but he stayed somewhere else in the town with some friends he brought in and his kid. The rest of the family stayed at the house and also at some cabins 2 aunts run. One of those days my cousin (the one who was not staying at the house) stopped by the house to greet and say hello to everyone and he brought his friends with him. Those 2 friends one were married and had daughters that we all met but we alreayd knew the husband from years before as he visited when he was single the town often to surf with my cousin. My cousin knew this guy from when they were kids and the family also. Then there was this other guy (the one I am particulary interested at), this other guy too was in that town but when he was like 15 yrs old or 20, now he is 42 yrs old. Some of my family remembered him but not me. I only remmeber him by his name not his face, This other friend also is one of my cousin best friends since high school years. Now those 2 friends share a common hobbie with my cousin: they all surf the reason to visit the town during this time of the year but also hang out together to surf to other places in the country, even if one is married but not the other one.

This other guy is 42 yrs old, divorced and no kids and as far as I kow he is not dating. He used to work many years in the US in the banking field and also here int he country but then he got bored and tired of that field and he now dedicates himself to the things he enjoys doing it and love doing it, which is work in the sport field cause he is a surfer now but also he trains and runs, he became a very sporty guy his work now is organizing running competitions. He has nice arms and back and he is very cute LOL!!

The thing is that when we got introduced again we started to talk very casually and it was quick how we got along. This guy that day offfered me drinks, I served him coffee and we talk very casual. He seems like a nice guy. Two days passed and my sister birthday was going to be thrown at the house and that nite there was also a BBQ. My cousin and his single guy came over cause htey were invited of course. The guy bought some beers and I hlped him store the beers on a freeze and he told me that if I want a beer I should tell him so he can bring me one. During the hours this guy mingle with many family members he is like family already and I still talked to him occasionally.

At one point he was sitting on a living room couch and I sit next to him to talk, he seemed please we talked. He showed me things and photos from his cell phone , like him training or his abs before and after, hehe!! then he showed me videos of some guys training in some country, etc He even showed me a photo from Facebook of a lady he used to date but now she is with someone else buit he wanted my opinion since he says that lady is a hypocrit because the lady is posting photos of herself and this new guy like she was really happy cause he knows she is not. He is not dating her anymore, but he knows she is not happy but then keeps posting photo of her and the guy all happy. That is beside the point the point is that we hit it off and we talk for a while at that moment.

Then the hours passed by and he offered me some whisky, I helped him also to chopped some garlic for a marinade he was going to do for the BBQ meat.
Then it was like 11pm and everyone was starting to go to their rooms cause they wanted to sleep but neither him or me were sleepy and he asked me are u sleepy and I said no I am not then he suggested why dont we stay inside the house and talk. I said yes. This day my cousin had to sleep over the house not inthe place he was staying days before, therefore my cousin slept with his son in the same cabin as his sister and the guy had to sleep in the house living room couch. During this trip I slept inside the house in a room.

So he and me stayed at some outside corridor and we talked like 3 hours or so maybe 2 but we talked about many things. He told me about his failed marriage, about his parents, about his days in the US, we talked about his pets, we talked about todays marriages that do not last, we laugh and talked during all that time. He even told me that that when he first saw me earlier (when we were not introduced yet) in the day for the first time he thought I was a hippie or something hehe cause maybe I was wearing maybe some informal dress and my hair perhpas was a mess or with a bun up he even laugh whne he told me that and I also laughed with him. Which that means he noticed me in that particular moment I believe.

He aksed about myself too what was my relationship status, about myself a bit. Then he even grab my hand to see a burn scar I had and then he touched my back to see a rash I had. Also he brought me a glass of water when he went to grabbed his at the kitchen. I had a good tiem with him during htat time I spend with him talking sicne everyone was sleeping but not us. I hope he felt the same with me but that I dont know.

All of a sudden almost at 130am the phone rang, I was surprised as it was vey late for the phone to rang so I went to pick it up and it was one of my aunts (this aunt who called is the mother of this guy best friend) calling form her cell phone, who was sleeping in their repsective rooms of the house to asked me, if the hosue lights were turned off and if the house was closed. I answered her that I had the house keys and I be in charge of closing the house that do not worry.

So I went back to the corridor and the guy asked me: Who was it? I told him it was my aunt making sure that if I had the house keys. Then the guy said Ohh so Im in good hands? I said yes and he laughed.

Minutes passed by and the guy said lets go inside and close the house then. I closed the curtains too. Remember this guy had to sleep on one of the living room couches. So we watned to continue chatting in the living room and all of a sudden and unexpectadly for me, he asked me: Why dont you stay and accompany me? I inmmediately say, When we were chatting on the corridor he was alreayd in his jammies but I was in clothes, cause before everyone went to bed he grabbed his jammies from the cabin where his friend was staying, and he changed in the house in the bathroom anbd he also washed his teeth in the bathroom house. His jammies consisted of a pair of boxers/shorts and a white tank top, he looked gorgeous hehe!! specially when I could see his muscled back and muscled arms.

So when he told me if I could stay and I said yes then he added if If I was not going to get into troube with my family I told him no afterwards a I told him to wait I am going to change to my jammies hehe so I did and I returned with a sheet, pillow and my jammies on. My jammies consisted of 2 piece silk jammies, the shorts and the top that was a strap blouse. What I assume he wanted was for him not to be alone at night and we can continue chatting the whole nite, he in the couch he was going to sleep in and me in the other couch. But then something happened, the minute I layed on the couch, upps another aunt showed up at the livign room and saw me laying on the couch and the guy laying on his couch. Not even my mother did that, it was my aunt. So this aunt saw me there and told me: What are u doing there? You should not be here go to your room and I said Ok i be in my room in a few minutes. I was so embarrased that this guy witnessed that. So this guy like a gentleman told me: Bbetter go to your room so there is no problems with ur family and I said ok.

So then I stand up from the couch and the moment I was heading towards my room he stand up from the couch and he said good nite and he hugged me a bit tight and he kissed me on the cheek and told me "Thanks for the company" then when I pulled away he gave me a kiss on the mouth. I was like in heaven when he did that!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!
He was the one who decided the mouth kiss not me it was just one mouth kiss not taht we made out.

So there comes the next morning and I found out that the aunt who saw me in the couch went straight to her sister and told her what she saw. How did I know that? Because the guy himself told me when he was having breakfast and he found me in the kitchen. He told me that my aunt went to her sister and told her that soemthign may had happened between us and at the same time my aunt told the guys best frieind (my cousin) about the situation.

I was so angry cause nothign happened and also the sister told the other that we would have gotten a motel then if we wanted to sleep together. All of that the guy told me cause he was told that. I was appauled and embarrased to my aunts, assuming that something happened nothing happened at all.

The guy told me that his best friend got all mad at him and like asked him what was going on with me, once his mother told him what they thought it happened then this guy told me. "I told my friend that if it was the case I go straight and talk to your mother and explain the situation so she knew nothing happened".

This guy told me that when he was having breakfast and very discreetly to my ear like whispering since we were surrounded by many people in the kitchen at that moment.

I mean my 2 aunts I assume did that beause we had to respect the house we were and if the guy had in his mind to fool around with me we should have gone out of the house for that purpose. But that never happened and the only thing that happened was that my aunt saw me in my jammies laying ona couch and the guy in the other couch. Perhpas this aunt thought that we were going to have sex or something right there on our couches. My aunts are a bit old fashioned you know. They never told anything to my mom, and my mom is not even aware this ever happened, the ones making all the scandal were my 2 aunts.

It was the day of departure from my aunts house from all the family who spend Easter those past days. So I said good bye to the guy who had came in the same car as my cousin, his best friend and again we talked about last nite situation cause we laughed and i was so embarrased and the guy asked me again What did they tell you.

I asked him for his phone number and he gave it to me he also gave me his Facebook name.

So i like this guy we hit it off and it seems he likes me but still after all what happened I am really not sure ie he likes me or it is just me the one who likes him.

Let me tell you this. Neither him or me have kids, he is 42 im 43, im not married he is not married,he is divorced, and he even told me that having kids is a big responsability that he does not know if he cant put up with on this day cause he likes to do things on his time without anyone imposing him time or schedules, the same when he was married. He told me there was a time when he and his wife slept in different rooms. He likes to live and enjoy life and he is happy the way he is now. Imagine that he even told me that he does not like the use of credit cards cause that is a rip off, he does not like to be in debt therefore he likes to pay for his own things in cash and not owe anybody money,maybe he says that because he worked in the banking field and he must know how banks works and credit card works. He said he had 3 bad hackers experience before that is why he decided to use cash. It is rate to find a guy like that nowadays. Maybe is the reason I felt compenetrated to him cause Im similar, Im a simple person, who barely uses the credit card, I do not spend a lof of money on things, I try to spend just the necessary and just a bit more.

Now I already sent him a message through Facebook to make things casual, and asked him if he want to join me for lunch one day after I finish my work out and we can also go for a run (sicne he is into train and sports) one of these days. He answered me the next day and told me Sure, lets agree one of these days. SO i told me to meet me the first days of May at some park.

I want to get to know this guy more nit just all the things he told me at my aunts house during the trip. Im sure he must have more things to share with me that he did not share when we talked.

How can I pursue this guy more? I mean we already broke the ice, the family knows him already, he is not a stranger, he is my cousin best friend.
But I dont know if he likes me. I dont want to act pushy or desesperate cause I will scare him away and I dont want that at all. I want to get to know him casually and then go from there and that he also likes to spend time with me or at least enjoy my company.

There is a bday gathering another aunt is planning beause of my birthday at the end of the month at my house, we will celebrate 3 relatives bday anyway. A one year bday, my bday and my brother bday (my brotehr also know the guy due to the link from our cousin), the guy even asked for my brother that why he did not come to the trip like the rest of us.

ANyway if it was me I would like to ivnite the guy for this gathering but Im afraid what the family may say, cause noone will expect him to show up at the house for my bday,e ven if all the family knows him. Of course seeing him there the family will wonder that he and I have something, I mean we dont have anything it is just that I want to invite him , so the more I hang out with him or see him in a casual environment the better for me to know him and talk to him more in a less stressful environment but the problem is that I dont know what he will think when I invite him. He may think Im into him and I being a bit pushy inviting him to this bday and also to join at the park to hafve lunch another day and maybe he is not into having a relationship now cause he wants to be on his own. I mean that does not prohibit him to date girls or hang out that is what I believe. I mean I just want to get to know him more, see him more to know him more, but I dont know if he feels the same or he is just one of those guys who pretend they like a girl by acting the way he did with me and is not true.

How can I go for it with him without act desesperate and pushy and how can I know if he likes me to? Ohh I forgot to mention I have never been in a relationshop before, I never really dated in the past, so maybe this is the first time I found a guy who has things I also like, he is into working out, I do aerobics, he is single, Im single, he is 42 im 43 soon 44, he does not have kids I dont have kids. I bet we share things from the same age era we were born with. He likes to eat out and so do I. He likes the beach and the mountain a lot.

I dont know if it is an advantage that he is my cousin best friend.

Well this is the story sorry for being sooo long but I had to explain the situation.
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PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Apr, 2015 06:41 pm
First, get away from all the aunts and the rest of the relatives and meet him somewhere so you can BEGIN this relationship with friendship. You are giving away TOO much power to these people! Stop letting them treat you like you are 15 years old.

There is no need to invite him to family gatherings. When you do this, you allow your family to run your life, to inspect him and your behaviors. That does not allow you to act like a grown woman.

Do not move too fast with this guy. It sounds like you have a crush on him, but he is much more experienced than you. So move slowly.
Maru
 
  1  
Reply Thu 9 Apr, 2015 08:16 pm
@PUNKEY,
Hi. I know I never expect my aunts to do this I was so embarrased to him that even my cousin had to step up and got mad at him but then he explained the things to my cousin. Well like I said in my post he is experienced because he was married 4 yrs so of course he may know more about women than me knowing about men. I already told him to join me one day to go running and hae lunch after my work out at some park and he agreed, That should be like a start it is in a public place and he likes to practice sports as well. During that time of course we will talk more and get to know more.
I think the onbly thing we did not exhange was our birthday dates hehe!! I dont know when it is his birthday.

Regarding the party I was planning to like celebrate my bday with some female friends (who all are married and have kids but they are the only ones that i had had a chance to go out with when we plan to hang out, which is not so often due to their responsabilities and committment as spouse and parent). Anyway I am thinking to organize a small celebrations but in bar-restaurant and some of them alrayd told me they agree to go. But the celebration will be doube as we are celebrating another friend bday. So do you think that i should invite this guy to this celebration at the bar with my friends or not? I mean the territory is neutral not family around I intend to invite other male friends ( but they are gay hehe but tey ar very nice people) I mea ni snot a big thing just a few people. Te other bday girl intends to invite friends from her side as well. Or should I not invite the guy to that one either? This bday bash is not a sure thing yet Im thinking on organizing it still

Is there a possibility he may hold back in pursuing something in case it happens and he likes me, just for the fact that he is my cousin best friend and that is why he wil only see me as a friend? Just asking. I mean another problem is that we do not like like very nera to each other, he does not live that far but we are not so close. He lives close to my sister though ike in the same town. I bt he hangs out on bars around his city I dont know if he likes to even travel downtown to hang out with his buddies when he does, this is just my assumption but I have to lay out all possibilities of meeting him again at some point. Unless he goes to the beach and he invites me heheeh Im joking just teasing . But I dont know that a 42 yrd old guy like to ask out oir beign asked out.


PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Apr, 2015 06:44 am
Yes, ask him to this adult gathering.

May I ask why it is that you are 42 but it sounds like you don't have much experience in the dating scene?
Maru
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Apr, 2015 01:56 pm
@PUNKEY,
I be honest with you and I know you be very surprised I really had never had a boyfriend before in my life much like even dating. For soem reasons the environment I have been too, like workplaces ,w hen I was studying at a technical institute or people I have known as the years went by, guys in those scenarios never paid attention to me to even have attention to me to ask me out like they never seem interested in me I assume.

I mean I have few male friends, and the ones I have are all gay beause I have met them in a hobbie we share and like and that is doing aerobics. I dont count htem as really friendse because they have their own circles of friends.

The female friends I have in my life are all married or have kids so I do hang out with them but not so often for their own committments they ahve at their houses.

I dont have like single single ladies in my age with no committment ike to hang out on a weekend and meet people. I have this bad luck since I got off from high school I dont know if it has to do with the fact I have always been kind of shy around people, even if people do say Im a nice person. Also other people like do not take the initiative to invite to things maybe they are not interested in inviting me. I know there are people who have a lot of friends and they call each other often to make plans to hang out and stuff like that.

I dont have that. In fact when I try to see my female friends (all of them are from high school but we had seen just occasionally) since im the one with more time on the hands cause Im single I m the one planning the get together not them, Im the one making plans not them, they just say Ok just let me know when things are done and I show up gladly becausu you arrange things nice and I dont have time to do that.

I been a shy person and I dont like to do bold things like other people, because I always think twice or think things throughly before doing things and not jump just like that to do something I may regret later or not really regret but I may not like the outcome if I do something that I had not planned well. Maybe Im not that like life of a party person who erradiates like I want to have a party and go out very often and people may see me as a quiet, shy person who cant even hurt a fly, so they do not even bother to ask me out or even try.

My parents were conservative and I was raised like that, I have a brother but hey he is a man he do hang out often with his buddies like most men. Now at the house things changed, my dad passed away and my mom is alone so now Im with her and my brother. People may even consider me a one of a kind of woman, women like me are hardly to find I guess. But I know other females that are in similar position like myself the difference is that at least they had dated or at least hang out with guys and get to knwo each other.

Another reason why I dont like when people ask me Why are u still single, or when they ask me you are single but im pretty sure you had dated before right? . In taht moment I lie to them cause people simply wont believe I havent. I feel embarrased for guys or people to know I havent had a boyfriend before, they must believe Im a nun in disguise!! haha!! I must have something that I erradiate that people sense I dont like to hang out or anything. I do get along well with people and I think im physically attractive.

At my current age it can be tricky or difficult to find a single guy around my age with no committment whatsoever, they are either married with kids, or divorced with kids but completely single, hardly. And also the guys I may find single with no committment may be much younger than me. I dont mind to hang out with guys like 5 yrs younger than me but like 15-20, well not.

As I read somewhere the more you age the more picky you become because you dont want a nobody either as a bf or date, you are worth as a woman and need someone who can treat and respect you.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Apr, 2015 02:04 pm
@Maru,
Invite him to a couple of non-family social get-togethers.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Apr, 2015 02:05 pm
@Maru,
Is there a reason you and your brother still live with your mother?
Maru
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Apr, 2015 05:25 pm
@ehBeth,
Well where I live (not the US) the country is very small and you really do not need to travel to find jobs and practically a job can be near where u live . Not like in the US where most of the times for job purposes you have to move toother US states. The thing is that is not uncommon where i live that single people still lvie with their parents. I know many people in my position like thjat. ALso I dont know if that is something realted to the Latin american countries, that you leave the house until the day you marry, before that you stay with ur siblings and parents even if you are still studying cause your parents are the one still paying for your studies and you are not working in order to be on your own when you are studying if the parents decide to pay for the studies and then the person will pay for his or her own stuff when she or he began to work. Now of course here many people work to pay for their own studies and they work and study and even so some live with their parents egven if they work and study maybe beause like I said below buying a house her is costly and rent is very expensve and cost of living here are a bit pricey, I dont know.

Mostly women are the ones who always stay at home with the parents, men are more likely to be independent. I mean time changes sure and now there are people who live on their own sure, but here living independently is not very affordable, rent is expensive and buying a house, is even more, also the procedures to buy a house here very tricky a lot of bureocreatic procedures cause prices are super high. Our country is known for expensive prices regarding tourism, even food comparing to other countries. Even gas for the cars we have higher prices than other Central American countries.

My dad passed away last year and my brother and I are still single and we live with my mom.
0 Replies
 
Maru
 
  1  
Reply Fri 10 Apr, 2015 05:29 pm
@ehBeth,
This has nothing to do with what you asked me but imagine that I have a coworker who is like 38 yrs old she is not married but have dated int he past she still single and live with her parents but her parents come all the way from her house to pick her up when her work is done at the office, she rarely leaves on her own from work to her house, Her parents are happy to pick her up after work often. I will never tell my mom to do that to come all the way from house to pick me up after work I go by myself to the house
0 Replies
 
Maru
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Apr, 2015 11:23 am
@ehBeth,
Hi. I already asked him if he will like to join me for lunch or a run on a Sunday after I finish my aerobics exercises that I do on he weekends at some park and he agreed, So the plan is to meet the first week of May since the sundays of April i have family committments.

But then I am planning to celebrate my bday with some female friends on April 25 at some bar-restaurant close to home and even though the original plan is to do it among only female friends (we occassionally hang out the same females) this time I am thinking to change it a bit and invite other people from other environments I know even if the female friends dont know these other people that way I could invite the guy to this gathering. The thing of this gathering also is to celebrate 2 bdays at once, because one of the female friends bday is on April 30th so it be a celebration for her bday and mine. But could be appropriate for me to invite other people, besides the usual ones and also I told this other bdya girl to invite friends from her side if she wants .

Or what do you think? Could I skip inviting this guy for my bday celebration and just wait for May to come to see him on the sunday running? I say that because it can be very obvious that I like him if Iinvite him to the bday gathering and then like a week after we will meet again.

I know I have to be slow with this guy and do not sound so desesperate or pushy I dont want him to think bad of me. That is why I havent spoken to him or he with me or even text him to even say Hello since the last time we saw one week ago.

Thanks again
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Mon 13 Apr, 2015 02:31 pm
Yes, invite him. You need to see him in many different situations.

Try to show independence and that you are your own person.

Perhaps a man might think that the whole "package" (mother and brother) comes with you.
Maru
 
  1  
Reply Mon 13 Apr, 2015 03:15 pm
@PUNKEY,
I mean so I should invite him to both things, the Sunday jogging (which he alreayd said yes and I told him in the first days of May) and the bday celebration? In taht bday gathering there will be the other female friends and it is also the celebration of the other bday girl is not just my gathering but of course the guy does not know my friends. I try to invite 2 gay friends who I do aerobics with and they aver very nice people too, but you know sometimes inviting men who are guy could be sensitive to other people, beause it is delicate. I said this beause I remember once I was invited to a gathering of an acquaintance and this person invited 1 gay friend she has, during the whole gathering the other friends of this person, felt awkward around the gay guy becaue there were certain topics it could not be disscused freely in order not to make the gay guy feel uncomfortable. So I dont know if I should invite them cause really I dont have many male friends to invite with anyway, unfortunately the ones I tend to invite are gay who are single just like me. The rest of my female friends are all married with kids.

I jsut can say to him. Hey if you want to stop by Im celebrating my bday and the bday of another friend in this place this day if you want to come. That is as informal as I can get to him so it will sound not so desesperate hehe!!

The bad thing if I can use that term is that I have more female acquaintances than male or it is better if I stick with the original plan of just seeing him the day we agreed to see for jogging and from there I can know more what he likes to do, what he does for a weekend, if he likes to attend concerts, movies, etc and get to know him a bit better since it will be he and me only.
Maru
 
  1  
Reply Tue 14 Apr, 2015 11:39 am
@PUNKEY,
I know I should follow what my mind dictates me but I was told that I should wait until this guy make a move not me making a move, like me inviting him to things taht I have to wait if he is the one who ask me out or make a move. I mean we are 2 adult and I know times changes and now women ask men out and not the other way around but still I been told that men should be the one always with the initiative to ask a lady out especially when they are adults and the only thing I should do is make some flirty moves to him to see if he gets it because if the guy doe snot ask me out I been told I should forget about him, he is not interested plain and simple and I should not be the one asking him out cause we are adults.

I mean I like this guy and I wish I can get to know him more so the only way to do that and to know if he likes me too is to be together, in a gathering or something. We cant get to know each other more just over Facebook or texting, it has to be face to face and also what if I wait and wait and then beause I waited long for him to ask me out other girl may get bolder and get the guy because she was more proactive in that case.

Olivier5
 
  1  
Reply Tue 14 Apr, 2015 11:45 am
@Maru,
Maru wrote:
I was told that I should wait until this guy make a move not me making a move

That's pure BS. Gender equality, anyone?

Quote:
what if I wait and wait and then beause I waited long for him to ask me out other girl may get bolder and get the guy because she was more proactive in that case.

Indeed, that's what happens to people who wait too long: other people cut them out.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Tue 14 Apr, 2015 11:57 am
@Maru,
Maru wrote:
I say that because it can be very obvious that I like him if Iinvite him to the bday gathering and then like a week after we will meet again.

I know I have to be slow with this guy and do not sound so desesperate or pushy I dont want him to think bad of me. That is why I havent spoken to him or he with me or even text him to even say Hello since the last time we saw one week ago.



I'm not at all clear what benefit there is to not letting him know you are interested in him.

There's a difference between texting someone non-stop and checking in occasionally.

Let him know that you are going to be celebrating your birthday with friends, he is welcome to join you but no pressure if the timing isn't good.

Stay in touch with him - that's what friends do.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Tue 14 Apr, 2015 11:59 am
@Maru,
Maru wrote:
I try to invite 2 gay friends who I do aerobics with and they aver very nice people too, but you know sometimes inviting men who are guy could be sensitive to other people, beause it is delicate. I said this beause I remember once I was invited to a gathering of an acquaintance and this person invited 1 gay friend she has, during the whole gathering the other friends of this person, felt awkward around the gay guy becaue there were certain topics it could not be disscused freely in order not to make the gay guy feel uncomfortable.


personally I don't invite people who are uncomfortable with gay people to my home or to social events I host
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Tue 14 Apr, 2015 12:01 pm
@Olivier5,
Olivier5 wrote:

Indeed, that's what happens to people who wait too long: other people cut them out.


a friend of mine waited so long to tell a guy that she enjoyed their first date that he had time to meet someone else and marry her

true story

she spent more than six months deciding whether or not to call him

Confused
0 Replies
 
Maru
 
  2  
Reply Tue 14 Apr, 2015 02:02 pm
@ehBeth,
Hi again and thanks for ur info. I mean I dont know if my female friends will be comfortable around gay guys maybe not but taht is something I cannot know cause I dont even know what they think about gays anyway. Should I let them in advance or at least tell them that I want to ivnite 2 male friends but they are gay?

But also since \i dont have many straight male friends, if I do not invite the gay guys I better not invite the guy I like, cause he will be the only man in the gathering from my side, cause if the other bday girl invites friends from her side (not the ones we have in common) and they are males, I dont know the friends from the other bday girl, I think the guy I like could feel uncomfortable a bit knowing that there are not more male friends from my side and the ones available there are guys I do not even know. I also do not know how the guy I like will react if I invite gay guys simply beacuse Im just slowly starting to get to know this guy.

I think it be wiser if the first meeting with this guy after the Easter family trip when we last saw each other should be the jogging-lunch meeting I alreayd told him he can join me and he said yes and that is in May (not see him before on the bday friends gathering), that day we will ahve time to talk more and during lunch time too. Dont u think?
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