Did having children give you purpose?

I think it's probably not a good idea to have a kid to "complete" oneself. Parenting is hard and people should be pretty darn complete before they take charge of someone else's life. Plus, what a drag for a kid if they ever knew their job was to somehow complete their parents. That's just weird.

I became a parent to a six year old when I was 46 (we fostered him for 4 years before that though). I'm glad I wasn't any younger because I loved my selfish and reckless past.

Raising a kid is fun; a LOT of fun. I think it's a lot more fun when you're finished growing up yourself and have the financial means to not have to worry about every little thing.

I would say it's definately not a good idea to have a kid, or anyone else to completel yourself.

There are some good CF forums out there Sofia. I belong to one. I suggest you check them out to talk about this honestly and openly.

I feel a strong desire to contribute to the human race, and doing a good job of parenting has been my best contribution so far. For me not having kids would have resulted in a feeling of emptyness.

Unlike others I think any reason to love and nourish is a good reason, if you have kids because you think they will complete you great. I also advocate getting married to someone who completes you. We are social animals, no man is an island, and I have no idea what would be gained from pretending otherwise.

I certainly don't think men are islands but I still disagree with the "complete".

Mr. B and I have been together for nearly 30 years. He complements me (and sometimes compliments me) but he doesn't complete me.

Same with Mo, but, as you know, our situation was a bit different. I never felt that urge to add to the human race or really even be a parent. I'm glad things worked out the way they did.

I like what you say about being a good parent is the best contribution you've made. I haven't thought of it that way but it's probably my best contribution to the future too. Setting a kid on a path to go out and be a good citizen of the world is a pretty big accomplishment!

I kind of agree with both here - I think I might feel an emptiness if I didn't have kids, but I am not sure - no one to know as I am not in that situation, but did I need them to feel complete - I don't think so. I think they added to me. I think I was complete before.

I loved my life when I was single before I met my husband. I got married older in a sense -- I was in mid-30s. I thought I would like to me married and have kids, but I loved being single and jet setting around too. So I wasn't in a hurry and didn't want to just get married to in using your words complete me. I was happy.

But then I met someone and we wanted to be dedicated and married to each other. We both love kids and wanted them so we planned and had them. It wasn't to complete us - it was maybe to add to our love and lives. Am I more complete now or happier --- no - sometimes being a wife and mom really stinks and is hard. More often it is the best thing in the world. I think it is just different.

I wouldn't change anything though - once you have kids as crazy and angry they can make you -- the ups are so much more.

Besides when they get to be teens it is quite fun to do things that embarass the h*ll out of them in front of their friends.

No purpose. Just a lot of headaches. (And a lot of love and joy.)

I cant even imagine that, I always felt like parenting is an excellent use of my time, that is is productive work. Why didnt you just stick to having pets if what you say is true?

I guess my attempt to be a bit funny did not go over well. I will have to practice that a bit more.

i got it and liked it

and i don't even have kids, mainly because i was one