What are we discussing then? We are looking at this from a modern culture. Our modern culture has its own set of beliefs and value, and its own mythology.
In my opinion, the interesting discussion means that we have to look at the facts... even if they don't support our modern narrative or sense of values.
If the goal is to take every bit of evidence that fits the 21st cetntury narrative, and ignore (or desperately try to explain away) any evidence that we find troubling, it doesn't lead\ to an intellectually interesting discussion.
We a little go on about what life was like 2500 years ago. We have a couple of ancient texts, we have DNA evidence, we have archaeology and we have an understanding of human nature.
I strongly suspect that any 21st century person who actually visited these cultures would find anything to actually support our currently cultural beliefs... and would rather find some practices of these cultures to be quite disturbing to modern sensibilities (and likewise they if they visited us they would feel the same).
It is a mistake to think of our culture as the one true culture that all of these other cultures were leading up to.
These stories of ancient monogamous female controlled utopias are very appealing to certain modern audiences. That is why they are so popular. But they are modern myths. Once you start questioning them, they don't really make sense.