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Girl At Work (With Boyfriend) Being Very Flirty?

 
 
Reply Tue 24 Mar, 2015 03:42 pm
Ramble ahead:

Okay, so I recently started a new job that involves shift work. So I’m often working with different people, at different times of the day. I met a girl here and we seemed to hit it off (as colleagues) but slowly over the weeks it’s getting more and more flirty. She is definitely a looker, a lot of the guys in the place often comment on how nice she looks and I agree.

All sounds good right?...but she has a boyfriend.

So we could be chatting about ANYTHING then she will make a comment like “we’ll just have to fight the feelings we have for each other” or “you’ll be asking me to sleepover next” etc. There was one point where she finished but elected to stay a little over 40 minutes to help me out with mundane paperwork “because I’m new”. I am guilty of enjoying a flirt here and the comments don’t make me uncomfortable (I like them) but I’m not sure how to feel about it A) Being a new job and B) Her having a boyfriend. I like her, enjoy the company and being honest would love to sleep with her but for the two reasons earlier I’m not going to do anything silly to risk the job (besides becoming a homewrecker!). I’m thinking I just won’t say anything and carry on as normal.

I maybe overthinking the situation but would like some advice…
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Type: Question • Score: 5 • Views: 1,812 • Replies: 14
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contrex
 
  2  
Reply Tue 24 Mar, 2015 04:53 pm
@firsttimequestionguy,
firsttimequestionguy wrote:
I’m thinking I just won’t say anything and carry on as normal.

This is exactly what you should do.
firsttimequestionguy
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 Mar, 2015 04:58 pm
@contrex,
Its a tough one, but it shouldn't be. Always is when work/relations/sillycrushes are mixed together.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Tue 24 Mar, 2015 05:01 pm
She sounds like a flirt. Put her in her place when she becomes provocative with her remarks, e.g. "That's no way for a girl with a BF to talk. Are you flirting with me?"

Or you can just ignore her remarks. She's trying to get a reaction.

Most likely, you are the most recent of all her conquests, who are now her pack of "adoring" male co-workers. She flirts, then she brings out the "untouchable" card. Call her out on her games.


firsttimequestionguy
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 Mar, 2015 05:07 pm
@PUNKEY,
I've had those thoughts too. Wouldn't calling her out provoke a worse reaction than ignoring them?

It's not like we're not getting on or anything, I'm just thinking over how best to handle the situation I guess?

Think calling outs the way to go?
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 Mar, 2015 05:12 pm
If you want this to stop, then call her out. You CAN ignore it, but girls like her like that since it's a real challenge for them.

If you like all this - and do realize that she is being nothing but a penis tease and nothing will come of it - then continue on.

Your choice.
firsttimequestionguy
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 Mar, 2015 05:21 pm
@PUNKEY,
If it were outside of work I'd be fine with the ignoring and cheeky comments. In the workplace its different. I might just have to call her out and see what happens.

Heck I then run the risk of starting a drama.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Tue 24 Mar, 2015 05:48 pm
You can always consider what you'd be thinking and how you'd be feeling if you weren't attracted to her.

And then ignore her crap.
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  2  
Reply Tue 24 Mar, 2015 05:55 pm
@firsttimequestionguy,
Is this a job you just got a few month's ago and is this your current boss's assistant?

This scenario sounds pretty familiar.
Ionus
 
  0  
Reply Tue 24 Mar, 2015 09:26 pm
@firsttimequestionguy,
I'll PM my phone number...give it to her .
0 Replies
 
silentwatch2
 
  0  
Reply Wed 25 Mar, 2015 12:23 pm
@PUNKEY,
hei that is really a good point
"Most likely, you are the most recent of all her conquests, who are now her pack of "adoring" male co-workers. She flirts, then she brings out the "untouchable" card. Call her out on her games. "


and wish somebody was there to advice me this before i become obsessed Sad

and for the main in question..
please wait if you can.. be just what you are now.. never thing or imagine big.... things could change as things will always..

The initial stages are easy to be tackled.. so always improve yourself and try to give yourself some importance.. dont ask me how.. since i am finding it myself!
0 Replies
 
20SomethingYrOld
 
  1  
Reply Wed 25 Mar, 2015 07:46 pm
@firsttimequestionguy,
Hm... seems to me like you're the new shiny toy at work (at least for her). I know her type. She'll lure you in for a while, then change when the next new toy gets hired. believe me, girls like that aren't worth your time. just imagine being this girl's boyfriend?! must suck not knowing your girlfriend is out being a flirt with other guys. no respect. its sure an ego booster at first, but youll feel regret later on when she forgets about you, or when you realize shes a total witch... lol

i'd steer clear from this one...... have respect for yourself man! Very Happy
firsttimequestionguy
 
  1  
Reply Tue 31 Mar, 2015 04:39 am
@Ragman,
It is a new job yeah but the girl is just a coworker, she's not my boss's assistant.
0 Replies
 
firsttimequestionguy
 
  0  
Reply Tue 31 Mar, 2015 04:42 am
@20SomethingYrOld,
Over the past few days I've been thinking something similar. Its the olde "love not lust" thing (obviously not in love here but for the sake of argument).

I've been doing my best just to get on with both her and the job, not overthinking and not encouraging her. Shes a nice enough girl and I enjoy chatting but like you say: respect for myself Wink
0 Replies
 
Joebro13243
 
  -3  
Reply Tue 31 Mar, 2015 08:55 am
@firsttimequestionguy,
She is most likely a whore...
0 Replies
 
 

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