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Fri 18 Jun, 2004 01:48 pm
FINE -
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
FIVE MINUTES -
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
NOTHING -
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"
GO AHEAD -
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
LOUD SIGH -
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"
THAT'S OKAY -
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
THANKS -
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.
This was so inspiring, I will translate it into guy-speak.
Fine = Are you sure this time?
Five Minutes = Okay, I'm off to the pub.
Nothing = Yeah, right.
Go Ahead = I have absolutely nothing to say to you right now.
Loud Sigh = Here we go again.
That's Okay = Fine. I'm calling my lawyer.
Thanks = You are welcome, until next time.
Hmmm. They mean different things 'round here...
Fine = Do whatever, just let me watch the game.
Five Minutes = If you're not done by then, you're taking the damn dogs out in the morning.
Nothing = Look, I told you during the commercial break, you were on the phone and didn't hear me, now the game's back on and it's not worth saying again.
Go Ahead = See, "Fine."
Loud Sigh = See, "Nothing."
That's Okay = See, "Go ahead."
Thanks = I've heard all I want to hear. Now shut up and let me watch the game.