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How do you let things go?

 
 
SlapPaw
 
Reply Sun 8 Mar, 2015 03:27 pm
How do you let things go from your past?
I still hold on to these "friends" who bullied me and it was only last year that I realise I was so desperate for friends I became friends with the bully.
I also have a hard time to let go of this drama teacher who put me down so much that I cannot bring myself to do acting anymore.
Or to forgive my boyfriend's parents who say mean things to me
I find myself doing none thing and just stare at the iPad all day.
I can't find the motivation to do anything anymore
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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 557 • Replies: 7
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jespah
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 Mar, 2015 03:35 pm
@SlapPaw,
You sound like you might be obsessed/depressed. I am in no way qualified to diagnose you, but try talking to a professional about how you're feeling.
SlapPaw
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 Mar, 2015 04:31 pm
@jespah,
I do have OCD and take meds for it. I don't know if it's the obsession part of my OCD is causing it. Like when Im in the shower I would talk about out loud as if Im talking to someone about the things Im unhappy with
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Sun 8 Mar, 2015 06:28 pm
@SlapPaw,
Have you ever tried writing that down, either as a story or a diary entry? That might help, too.
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Sun 8 Mar, 2015 09:42 pm
I think about a lot of things in the shower. Great place to do some great problem solving, talking and singing included.

Your issues sound REAL, so it's good that you are trying to figure out how to let unpleasant people and things move out of your mind.

(Now I would be more concerned if you obsessed over the number of tiles in the shower . . . )

It's important to remember that people are human and say mean things, sometimes not even knowing or caring about the consequences of their words.

Take care of YOURSELF and don't give so much power away to other people.
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SlapPaw
 
  1  
Reply Tue 10 Mar, 2015 05:41 pm
@jespah,
I have once.
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Tue 10 Mar, 2015 06:24 pm
@SlapPaw,
It can help. Smile
0 Replies
 
Krumple
 
  1  
Reply Wed 11 Mar, 2015 01:49 am
@SlapPaw,
SlapPaw wrote:

How do you let things go from your past?
I still hold on to these "friends" who bullied me and it was only last year that I realise I was so desperate for friends I became friends with the bully.
I also have a hard time to let go of this drama teacher who put me down so much that I cannot bring myself to do acting anymore.
Or to forgive my boyfriend's parents who say mean things to me
I find myself doing none thing and just stare at the iPad all day.
I can't find the motivation to do anything anymore


I remember a lecture given by an insignificant buddhist monk once that really hit home for me about anxieties and worries. It might not work for you but it did for me. A simple explanation to get your brain working in a different mannor. It goes like this.

When you wake up in the morning and brush your teeth, and finish putting everything away do you continue to think about your tooth brush, tooth paste as you continue your day? Well you should do the same for your problems, worries and anxieties. Only think about them when you can actually do something about them. Until then just forget they exist, like tooth paste after you are done with it.

The solution for your lack of motivation is "simple" too. What you need to do is create a routine. Yep I know it sounds odd but hear me out.

1. Step one - start very simple, so simple that you can't say no. This is the first step in the routine. What ever it is that you want to accomplish, a goal, or just getting through the day. If it's getting up, start simple and with something that will give you some momentum to keep going. It can be specific to your goal or generic and unrelated but it should always be the same and if you start to waver you should come back to this step. It must be easy and something you can't refuse to do.

2. Step two - build on step one by introducing more aspects relating to your goal. Small bits, or work out a strategy, or plan, or a short list of accomplishments to be made for the day.

3. Step three - reward yourself if you have accomplished step two. If you have failed to accomplish step two then return to step one. Once you have rewarded yourself determine if you can repeat step one and two to further your goals along. Never forget to reward yourself for accomplishing something. I know it might sound silly but it is necessary in building a routine. It will actually build a empowering cycle with a little practice and eventually you'll be able to accomplish any task regardless of how mundane it is.
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