3
   

Is my wife cheating with a guy from work?

 
 
Reply Sun 8 Mar, 2015 05:04 am
Ok then heres the score I've had a gut feeling that there is something going on with my wife and a guy at her work, I can't get my mind off it and I've get no mates to talk to without them making it worse. I'll run through what's happened so far.
To start it all of a few months ago she starts talking about this dude at work and how funny and nice he always is (no problem with that), but then tells me some stuff he says which to me are just sexual innuendos. I've given him firewood previously and they've spoken at work and my wife's said about him
Just grabbing logs and he's replied " I'll grab your logs anytime". Anyway a little while after I was looking at her phone, not snooping she told me about a text from her dad so I had a look and I see a message to this guy saying "hey let me know if you like what I've left you", I thought that's abit weird and looked again later and she's deleted it not knowing I'd seen it. I asked her about it and she comforted me an said me and the kids were her life and she never hurt us and the message was about biscuits he'd asked her to get, but why delete the message?
Since that she seems to be finding excuses I have ago at me about stupid stuff, always looking for an argument. She's worked a few weekend since then but was never interested in that before. I asked her if she was going off me as we are not having as much sex as we were before(still once a week but used to be two or three) and she went mad at me and turned it around that I accused her of being a bad wife. She describes this guy as being like a best gay friend but he's straight and also married with kids, I found out the other day he only gets it from his wife once every couple months of he's lucky, my wife said some female mutual work friends told her this, my wife seems to be in his office everyday talking to him now, he's the manager. I've thought about telling her to arrange a play date with the kids and invite him and his wife over so I can meet him and put my mind at rest, this will also give me the chance to do two things, gauge my wife's reaction to me inviting him over and also let him meet me as I'm quite a big guy because of my job, very physical, and hopefully make him realise what could happen if there was anything going on. I do think to myself I'm just reading too much into things but my wife is gorgeous and I know people have tryed before and she's turned them down. Oh and also she is on snapchat but only send stuff to him. She sent me a pic her in her undies awhile back and I saw on her phone after shed used snapchat (to him) and deleted the Pic off her phone later that night, she also started to take more pride in her appearance at work wearing tighter clothes and changed her hair style. I don't want to be the guy who's always checking her emails and texts and what not, I'm ashamed to say I have a few times though, only thing I've noticed is that in the snapchat app I see she has sent him something but closed only that app off of the apps list on her phone so you can't see it's been used, no problem with stuff like this with friend but when it's being done with only one guy (and this guy) and obviously snapchats rep doesn't help being used to send naked pics. Please can people help put my mind at rest or tell me I should be suspicious, we've been together for 10 years and I love her to bits, I'd personally never do anything to hurt her, I've had chances but always turned them down. She also tells me sometimes I don't do enough to help out, I clean the house and do laundry every weekend I feed the kids and we take turn doing washing up every other night, I also worked solid nights and did double shifts for nearly 3 months to pay off some of her debts to get moaned at about it for not wanting to be with her when I obviously would much rather be at home with her. Also (this makes me sound bad) a relative has recently passed but she won't let go of her phone, it's as if she waitin for someone specific to contact her, the relative never rang or text so I don't think it's an emotional thing
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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 2,163 • Replies: 7
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Eliusa
 
  -1  
Reply Thu 12 Mar, 2015 10:38 am
@Spikeybrown123,
Sorry I do not have anything comforting to tell you.

However I want to ask 'smart asses' here in this forum who says that if trust is gone the marriage is gone! And you shouldn't spy on your spouse because it means you have no trust and must divorce...

Here is the situation where OP loves his wife but clearly suspecting she is unfaithful. What is he supposed to do? Ask her? Great idea. She will say 'you are paranoid, leave me alone and will probably play 'got hurt''

So what is your advise relationships gurus? So far I do not see anyone stepped in since the 8th.

I can't wait for the answers.
0 Replies
 
Spikeybrown123
 
  1  
Reply Thu 12 Mar, 2015 04:09 pm
@Spikeybrown123,
Beings as I had no replies I did some serious snooping and I can't find any evidence of anything, checked browser history and there is nothing weird to report, she deletes all her non family messages to save room. I know her passwords to Facebook and email which I check several times a day and there is nothing going on there. I no I no I'm a dirty distrustful snoop but I was going out my mind, anyone in the same situation would do the same if they could...
However there is still the same issue with snapchat, he was the only one on there and she's got a score of 114, so there have been allot of pics sent between the two... He's got a score of over 4k so he obviously likes the app. She tells me stuff about work and him so she's not hiding that.. I just don't understand why she would snapchat him and then remove the app from the idle list unless se doesn't want me to know she's sent him something... I've now installed the app my self and added her so I can see her score and maybe ask at some point why hers is so high without letting on I've been on her phone, she also leaves her phone unattended around me and hasn't changed her passwords on anything, surely this is atleast a good sign??
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Thu 12 Mar, 2015 04:25 pm
@Spikeybrown123,
Ok, most of us don't want to read a wall of text, so I'll try to break it down -

Ok then heres the score I've had a gut feeling that there is something going on with my wife and a guy at her work, I can't get my mind off it and I've get no mates to talk to without them making it worse. I'll run through what's happened so far.

To start it all of a few months ago she starts talking about this dude at work and how funny and nice he always is (no problem with that), but then tells me some stuff he says which to me are just sexual innuendos. I've given him firewood previously and they've spoken at work and my wife's said about him Just grabbing logs and he's replied " I'll grab your logs anytime".

Anyway a little while after I was looking at her phone, not snooping she told me about a text from her dad so I had a look and I see a message to this guy saying "hey let me know if you like what I've left you", I thought that's abit weird and looked again later and she's deleted it not knowing I'd seen it. I asked her about it and she comforted me an said me and the kids were her life and she never hurt us and the message was about biscuits he'd asked her to get, but why delete the message?

Since that she seems to be finding excuses I have ago at me about stupid stuff, always looking for an argument. She's worked a few weekend since then but was never interested in that before. I asked her if she was going off me as we are not having as much sex as we were before(still once a week but used to be two or three) and she went mad at me and turned it around that I accused her of being a bad wife.

She describes this guy as being like a best gay friend but he's straight and also married with kids, I found out the other day he only gets it from his wife once every couple months of he's lucky, my wife said some female mutual work friends told her this, my wife seems to be in his office everyday talking to him now, he's the manager.

I've thought about telling her to arrange a play date with the kids and invite him and his wife over so I can meet him and put my mind at rest, this will also give me the chance to do two things, gauge my wife's reaction to me inviting him over and also let him meet me as I'm quite a big guy because of my job, very physical, and hopefully make him realise what could happen if there was anything going on.

I do think to myself I'm just reading too much into things but my wife is gorgeous and I know people have tryed before and she's turned them down. Oh and also she is on snapchat but only send stuff to him. She sent me a pic her in her undies awhile back and I saw on her phone after shed used snapchat (to him) and deleted the Pic off her phone later that night, she also started to take more pride in her appearance at work wearing tighter clothes and changed her hair style. I don't want to be the guy who's always checking her emails and texts and what not, I'm ashamed to say I have a few times though, only thing I've noticed is that in the snapchat app I see she has sent him something but closed only that app off of the apps list on her phone so you can't see it's been used, no problem with stuff like this with friend but when it's being done with only one guy (and this guy) and obviously snapchats rep doesn't help being used to send naked pics.

Please can people help put my mind at rest or tell me I should be suspicious, we've been together for 10 years and I love her to bits, I'd personally never do anything to hurt her, I've had chances but always turned them down. She also tells me sometimes I don't do enough to help out, I clean the house and do laundry every weekend I feed the kids and we take turn doing washing up every other night, I also worked solid nights and did double shifts for nearly 3 months to pay off some of her debts to get moaned at about it for not wanting to be with her when I obviously would much rather be at home with her.

Also (this makes me sound bad) a relative has recently passed but she won't let go of her phone, it's as if she waitin for someone specific to contact her, the relative never rang or text so I don't think it's an emotional thing
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Thu 12 Mar, 2015 04:35 pm
Off hand, I'd be worried too.
Spikeybrown123
 
  1  
Reply Fri 13 Mar, 2015 02:21 am
@Spikeybrown123,
Should I just come out and ask about snapchat and why he is the only one on there and why is there such a high exchange of pics between them, am I being an ass if I ask her to delete it because it's weird for a married woman to only have one male friend on there......
I'd just like to add at this point im not really a jealous person, she has other male friends and I'd have no prob with snapchat if the others where on there...
There is just something at the back Of my mind with this one guy Even though I've checked everything else and it's all clear, I mean if she was cheating there must be even a tiny bit of evidence somewhere?
Eliusa
 
  0  
Reply Fri 13 Mar, 2015 05:55 am
@Spikeybrown123,
Yes before you went nuts being wondering things it is better to talk to her And tell her you worry because you love her. See what is she going to say. Probably already rehearsed the answer but gut feeling will tell you. Good luck
0 Replies
 
Eliusa
 
  0  
Reply Fri 13 Mar, 2015 05:56 am
@ossobuco,
And what would you do?
0 Replies
 
 

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