Ok, most of us don't want to read a wall of text, so I'll try to break it down -
Ok then heres the score I've had a gut feeling that there is something going on with my wife and a guy at her work, I can't get my mind off it and I've get no mates to talk to without them making it worse. I'll run through what's happened so far.
To start it all of a few months ago she starts talking about this dude at work and how funny and nice he always is (no problem with that), but then tells me some stuff he says which to me are just sexual innuendos. I've given him firewood previously and they've spoken at work and my wife's said about him Just grabbing logs and he's replied " I'll grab your logs anytime".
Anyway a little while after I was looking at her phone, not snooping she told me about a text from her dad so I had a look and I see a message to this guy saying "hey let me know if you like what I've left you", I thought that's abit weird and looked again later and she's deleted it not knowing I'd seen it. I asked her about it and she comforted me an said me and the kids were her life and she never hurt us and the message was about biscuits he'd asked her to get, but why delete the message?
Since that she seems to be finding excuses I have ago at me about stupid stuff, always looking for an argument. She's worked a few weekend since then but was never interested in that before. I asked her if she was going off me as we are not having as much sex as we were before(still once a week but used to be two or three) and she went mad at me and turned it around that I accused her of being a bad wife.
She describes this guy as being like a best gay friend but he's straight and also married with kids, I found out the other day he only gets it from his wife once every couple months of he's lucky, my wife said some female mutual work friends told her this, my wife seems to be in his office everyday talking to him now, he's the manager.
I've thought about telling her to arrange a play date with the kids and invite him and his wife over so I can meet him and put my mind at rest, this will also give me the chance to do two things, gauge my wife's reaction to me inviting him over and also let him meet me as I'm quite a big guy because of my job, very physical, and hopefully make him realise what could happen if there was anything going on.
I do think to myself I'm just reading too much into things but my wife is gorgeous and I know people have tryed before and she's turned them down. Oh and also she is on snapchat but only send stuff to him. She sent me a pic her in her undies awhile back and I saw on her phone after shed used snapchat (to him) and deleted the Pic off her phone later that night, she also started to take more pride in her appearance at work wearing tighter clothes and changed her hair style. I don't want to be the guy who's always checking her emails and texts and what not, I'm ashamed to say I have a few times though, only thing I've noticed is that in the snapchat app I see she has sent him something but closed only that app off of the apps list on her phone so you can't see it's been used, no problem with stuff like this with friend but when it's being done with only one guy (and this guy) and obviously snapchats rep doesn't help being used to send naked pics.
Please can people help put my mind at rest or tell me I should be suspicious, we've been together for 10 years and I love her to bits, I'd personally never do anything to hurt her, I've had chances but always turned them down. She also tells me sometimes I don't do enough to help out, I clean the house and do laundry every weekend I feed the kids and we take turn doing washing up every other night, I also worked solid nights and did double shifts for nearly 3 months to pay off some of her debts to get moaned at about it for not wanting to be with her when I obviously would much rather be at home with her.
Also (this makes me sound bad) a relative has recently passed but she won't let go of her phone, it's as if she waitin for someone specific to contact her, the relative never rang or text so I don't think it's an emotional thing