I don't know what to do.

Some background info: My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years. He's 21 and I'm 20 and we're juniors in college. He is my first long term boyfriend, everything before was either short-lived or not serious at all. This goes for my boyfriend as well. For the past three or four months (maybe even longer) I feel slightly more disconnected from him than we ever were before that. Whenever we text each other, he makes our conversations so generic and is constantly just repeating himself (i love you, i miss you, etc). He even does this when we are together, but it isn't as bad as when we are texting. Other issues I have with the relationship are that he never wants to DO anything. I don't think he has ever, in our entire almost 2-year relationship planned a spontaneous date. I'm really not asking for much either. Just something other than sitting in his apartment while he lays on his bed complaining about how tired and stressed he is. Also, he has come to my apartment probably a total of six times in our entire relationship. I've told him before about how it bothered me and how I wish we hung out at my place more often, and he would always respond with "Okay, we will I promise." It would never happen so I just gave up and quit asking. Anytime I bring up an issue I'm having with him, simply to bring it up so he is aware of how I'm feeling he gets so defensive and almost depressed because he thinks he's failed or something. Another thing is I don't think he understands my humor half of the time because he's so defensive. He always thinks I'm attacking him when I'm poking fun (I never say anything mean, it's basically just silly banter and he gets so weird about it). He also is stressed and tired 98% of the time and it is so hard to be around sometimes. I feel horrible because I really do love him so much, and he's helped me so much the past year with my struggle with OCD and helping me come to terms with it. I know he loves me more than anything and would be crushed if anything happened to us, but I hate feeling like he never listens to me. Every time he tells me he'll work on something it never ends up improving in the slightest and I'm so sick of it. I don't know what to do.