Is it worth staying friends after an affair?

Hi everyone!

It would be great to gather your thoughts on what makes me quite torn at the moment. About a month ago I met this guy through a friend and we became increadibly bonded very quickly. We share same views on life, same sense of humor, same ambitions etc and this kind of connection is a rare thing in my life. We didn't even notice how this grew into something more serious than that, we started to like each other on a different level though we never spoke about it until recently. There are couple of things that make it complicated, he is in a relationship for 3 years now, though they don't live together and see each other couple of times a week as both live in different cities. And I dont think he is ready to commit to this fully.

The other thing is that I am moving countries (literally this weekend) to start a new job. His girlfriend knows about the fact that he met this new lady-friend, but of course she was getting concerned as to why he spents so much time on whatsapp chatting to somebody. He put her at ease saying that we are just friends and that this is his private space he wants to enjoy. The plan however was always that we will meet with her, but there was never a practical opportunity.

We spent lots of time together in the last weeks knowing that I am leaving soon, we tried to use any opportunity given to enjoy each others company. We shared dinners, great conversations and at some point, after a boozy night out it went too far (his gf was away). We both knew it will be messy afterwards, but at that moment it felt like a natural thing to do, we couldn't control it. We spoke the next moment and agreed that one thing we don't want to lose is our friendship. We also understand that I only had one week after the event before I leave. Saying that, the distance is only 400km and not that I am moving to another continent. So seeing each other would have been possible, at least once a month.

We then spoke again and it seems like he doesn't want to consider moving anywhere, even in the future. He just bought a house, applied for permanent residence in the country and started to progress in his career. We also realise, what just happened is not enough to make a decision to brake up his current relationship and start off something new without knowing if are at all compatible as partners. I am willing to give it a go, surely I have less to lose in the circumstances as I am single. I am willing to make an effort to see each other and see where it will take us. His option was to stay friends as he doesnt want to lose the great connection we have and after some time (perhaps if his relationship will break in the future, who knows) and if I am also single at that moment, we could consider something more serious.

My problem is that, I don't know if I can stay friends. I can't kill what I feel for this guy and it is certainly smth more than friendship. I know he has those feelings too, he said if we met 3 years ago when he was single everything would have been different and that I literally rocked his world. He said he never cheated on his gf before and of course he feels confused, as there aren't any big problems in his relationship which he can't try to fix to make it work. The guy likes stability and he worked hard to get it. I don't know if staying friends won't ultimately start to kill me emotionally. Yes, the bonding is great but every time we would see each other I would have to swallow my own feelings and pretend we are just friends. Saying that, you never know what will happen in the future and perhaps the situation in his life will indeed change. But this waiting around won't help me sorting out my personal life and concentrate on my new job. May be I just need time to think about it, I am very confused. I don't know what to do...

Thank you in advance for sharing your thoughts..