Need advice on getting over this girl.

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Hey everyone.

About half a year ago I met this girl, and we started seeing eachother, mostly for sex, but we went for dinners, climbing, movies and stuff like that. But it ended after 3 month as I fell in "love", and she had pointed out that she wasn't looking for any serious relationship right this moment, as she had gone out a 4 year long relationship a couple months ago.
So we ended up deciding it was best to stop for my own sake. The first couple of weeks I was heartbroken(I actually asked her if she have had sex with anyone else and she said yes, I know that this is none of my buisness and it wouldn't help, more likely the opposite, but it happened)
But well I got really hurt which scared me, that I could get so hurt from such a short "relationship" with a girl, and got me thinking about how bad it would be if it was a longterm relationship.

It is now a little over two months since we stopped seeing eachother, but we still keep contact but just as friends, but mostly only small chats, we used to chat everyday when we were seeing eachother.
On new years eve she texted me, asking where I was, she was sending kiss smileys and calling me sweet and stuff like that, so I asked if she wanted to see eachother, but she didn't respond for like 3 hours and she said she was already gone home, and didn't bother to come all the way to my place, but she was still sending kiss smileys etc.
We texted again a few days after, and I guess we both ignored what happened.

The real issue is that I think about her all the time, I really think this girl is wonderful and amazing, we were having such a amazing time together, but now I can't seem to get over this girl.
I have been trying to keep busy, with studies, seeing friends more and working out even more then before. But still this girl is constantly on my mind.
Another issue is that I think I am stalking her, checking her facebook etc. and guys that I know she is texting and seeing instead of me(guess im stalking her too much) Sad

which I personally think is a bad sign and unhealthy, but I can't seem to help it. But hopefully what comes out of this topic will help.
She is starting on the same University as im attending this summer.

I am only 20 years old and she is 19, and this is probably my most serious relationship with a girl so far. I am going to travel in a few days, when the exams are over, which hopefully can give me some relief from the situation.

I think of myself as pathetic in this situation as in why im so hurt over this girl I barely knew for so long and why I can't get over her, but I can't help how I feel.

Thank you for reading my pathetic situation Smile

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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 941 • Replies: 12

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You need to stop all social media and other contact with her.

This is a big problem with social media these days - we have far too much 24/7 instant contact. There are few truly clean breaks these days.

You don't need instant contact. You need a clean break.

You have to stop responding when she texts. You have to stop stalking her.

Let. It. Go.

1 Reply

@jespah,

Easier said then done. But im going on a vacation next week, which might help me get her off my mind.
But it still bothers me, that shes stuck on my mind as we havn't even had anything serious together.

0 Replies

@Studtimmi,

You can't get over her because you haven't let her go! You need to cut the cord entirely! Until then, your heart will stay hers. And that's not fair to either of you! No more texting. Chatting, etc.

1 Reply

@Studtimmi,

You're screwed - you'll always wonder what could have been and measure every other woman against how wonderful you thought this woman must be.

Maybe when you're forty you'll come to accept it and realise fatalistically there's no going back so you can start living your life again. If you're lucky.

Twisted Evil

0 Replies

@psychictiff,

You probably right... I was hoping we could stay friends Sad

How come people downvote my topic?

1 Reply

@Studtimmi,

Studtimmi wrote:

How come people downvote my topic?

Don't take it personally. Some people aren't into relationship stuff, downvoting a thread removes it from view.

Re your relationship, clean break, avoid her as much as is physically possible, move in different circles. Find something else to focus on. And don't expect miracles, it will take time, but it will get better.

And no more turn aside and brood
Upon love’s bitter mysteryW. B. Yeats

0 Replies

@Studtimmi,

Change your phone number.

0 Replies

Why do you think she's "wonderful and amazing"?

Your feelings were way too much for her: See this for what it really is -----
She dropped you because it just wasn't there for her; she teased you with a drunken NY text with NO followup afterwards; you are left howling at the moon.

Unless you see that this "relationship" was really not that great, but rather probably your first sexual experience, then you are not going to be able to go on with your life. In the meantime, lots of girls are passing you by while you are so distracted.

She is over you, for sure. Now you need to Get Over It too.

1 Reply

@PUNKEY,

She is incredible sweet, smart, caring and I really love just being with her doing whatever..
She didn't drop me, I ended it because I know she didn't feel the same and knew she was talking to other guys. I just messed up and got my feelings and hopes up.
It is not my first sexual experience, been with a few girls before her, but this is probably the one with most feelings involved.
I wasn't even looking for a relationship before I met her, and it is not like im not doing my usual stuff, but she is just always in the back of my head. Somehow I just can't let go of the possibility that she might think otherwise of me one day, even tho it can seem hopeless.

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She just texted me asking me how it went with my exams followed by a kiss smiley..
Why would she text me something like that? Im convinced that she is not a girl that would play with a guy in no way. But maybe im wrong here? It just seems weird if she did, as she is a perfect A student and is quite popular, so why would she crave my attention?

1 Reply

You are placing too much importance on a text.

Unless she actually DOES something, then this is all teasing. She might like the chase.

0 Replies

@Studtimmi,

Studtimmi wrote:

so why would she crave my attention?

she is not craving your attention

you are one of the casual acquaintances in her life

_______

time to take Jespah's advice and block her on all social media (and no peeking back in)

0 Replies

Need advice on getting over this girl.

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