Should I get back with my ex?

Reply Sun 11 Jan, 2015 11:03 am
Okay so, in middle school we dated for I think 10 months, I can't really remember if it was a year or not but he was there for my 13th and 14th birthday, so it was probably longer than a year, but it was in middle school and never lasted when I was in high school. Basically while we were dating I was very dependent on him. Very. This guy was very abusive verbally, and manipulated me all the time. He would use breaking up with me as an excuse to "fix" me, like he would tell me to remember things better and when I made a mistake he would get so mad at me... He would get so mad at me over nonsense things. He told me he didn't like candid pictures of him taken and Itook a funny picture of him when he wasn't looking and he didn't talk to me for half an hour. I never knew why but I was too submissive to confront him about his anger. I would cry for hours nights at a time because he made me feel so bad. Anyway, we broke up on mutual terms because he lost interest in me and vice versa because I found a person who would not do those things to me. 2 years later as a sophomore, I messaged him pretending to be a wrong number message because I was messing around with him with my friends and I had no idea I had his number wrong in my phone, and I ended up telling him who I was. He sent me an extremely long text about how he was sorry and I felt very touched, because I've never had anyone care that much to write a 5 paragraph text to me about how they felt. Many very long texts later and I know that he's been in complete hell the last two years because of being surrounded by people in love and he's not had anyone which made his extremely depressed.... he contemplated suicide many times but didn't because of his brothers... Also he wanted to make things right with me and be the best he could be as a boyfriend and I kind of thought about it and I was feeling something that I've never felt in a long time... I wasn't single at the time, but I was kind of bored with my boyfriend because he never talked to me like that... Anyway I contacted my ex on Skype and it was the most fun I've had in a long time, we talked for 3 hours on end for many days in a row and we never ran out of things to talk about. Which really made me think about my current relationship, so I talked to my boyfriend about how I was bored and that when we are not together in person we don't talk whatsoever, and if he really loved me that he would want to talk to me all the time and I felt like he didn't care and that we should communicate more. I guess I offended him because he didn't know why I was "suddenly thinking" it. I really believed he didn't care and I guess letting him know I didn't care made him feel like ****. I also may have said, "you see how happy I am with this guy and not you?" And that was a bit too straightforward, he did know I was talking to my ex. A week later he told me in his car that since we had that conversation he lost his feelings for me and that was hard to deal with. But I guess it was what he wanted and I had too many issues that he could deal with, so whatever. But I'm still talking to my ex and we haven't run into any times from the past yet..... So what do I do? My parents say people don't change and my best friend says it wouldn't work, but I really don't know.
Reply Sun 11 Jan, 2015 11:44 am
Roxaboxen wrote:

... This guy was very abusive verbally, and manipulated me all the time....

Repeat that sentence to yourself as many times as it takes for it to sink in that it's a lousy idea to go back to him.

His issues are not your responsibility. You are not required to either 'fix' or 'save' him.

Period, end of story.

Your parents are right.
0 Replies
Lustig Andrei
Reply Sun 11 Jan, 2015 02:31 pm
Jespah's right. This is one dude you don't need. For certain. He's a potential abuser. If he hasn't yet hauled off and smacked you for no good reason, believe me, it's just a matter of time.
0 Replies
Reply Tue 20 Jan, 2015 03:35 pm
If you are bored with your current boyfriend, then it's time to come to realisation that he is not for you.

Trying to communicate with an ex, when these things happen is normal, as it's familiarity however, you have only done so because you are bored and in that boredom what you are after is attention.. But ex's are ex's for a reason, it didn't work out.

Take some time out for "you" and get to know you a bit more, what you are after in life and what "type" of person you believe will make you happy and next time you enter a relationship go with that avoid the red flags that make you question.

0 Replies

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