Cheating Wife

Hi there, I am sorry you have been put in this situation. But I do not think you should jump to conclusions just yet. As a woman in a long-term relationship, I often want to go out to parties without my partner just for a bit of a change up and so I can catch up with people properly. And he often heads out without me too. I think this is healthy. And just because I want a bit of space sometimes and want to go and have a bit of drunken fun with my friends doesn't mean I want to cheat on my partner. I think you should give her the space she wants without worrying about it too much.

The phone calls on the other hand, I am not too sure what to make of. I know I wouldn't be happy with my partner having regular conversations with another woman - even if it is a co-worker. Plus what is there to talk about outside of work that can not be talked about at work? Perhaps you could ask her about her work if it is filtering into her personal life? Maybe you should ask her a little about these phone calls, but I would not confront her with cheating at the moment.

I am more concerned though that you were 'told' you had to baby-sit, whilst she went to the party. This does not sound like a compromise or that there was any discussion around it? If this is often the case, it sounds like the power balance in your relationship is skewed in her favour and this is something that should be addressed.

Hope some of that is helpful in someway! As I said I have not been in this situation before so my opinion is not coming from a position of experience!

Why did you let her tell you to stay home and babysit, while she goes to the party?

That tells a lot about your relationship.

How long have you been her doormate?

Agreed about the sitting while she goes to party...how do I address the power balance?

Cause I am a an ass....

I am happy with my boyfriend because he is strong, but fair. He will not let me walk all over him (even though I admit I tried to a bit at the beginning of the relationship). However, he will compromise and sacrifice something for me if he thinks it is important to me. You need to be tougher with her. And trust me, even if she does not like the short term outcome (i.e. she has to babysit the kids) she will have more respect for you in the long-term. Think about the situations on a case-by-case basis though. If it is something very important to her you should think about helping her to achieve it. However, if she is taking advantage repeatedly just so she can have fun (to the detriment of you) you need to put your foot down and say no. If she went out to a party one weekend, you get to go out the next and so on. It HAS to be fair and equal. Plus she will find a man with balls more attractive than a doormat.

One size doesn't fit all!

What about that BDay party? Was she there? Alone? It will give you a lot of answers. Call friends, ask questions.