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Help- single childless old alone?

 
 
williewillie
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Aug, 2005 01:09 pm
Single childless old alone
Noddy24 wrote:
williewillie--

Welcome to A2K.

This thread has been inactive for quite awhile. Why not ask your question in a new thread?

I was talking last weekend with an unmarried cousin who is facing a solitary life after her 91 year old father dies. She is active in church work, but still dreads being without "family".


Noddy24--
Thank you for your advice. I'm new to this activity and not sure how to start a new thread. This one seemed so perfectly suited to how I was feeling. But I'll try.
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Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Aug, 2005 01:36 pm
Great.
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modo202
 
  1  
Reply Sun 11 Jan, 2009 11:19 pm
@tcis,
I am new here. I have been tryign to develope a network of women to reach out toeachother that are single, childless(my choice) and getting older alone. I do not see myself in some assisstant living facility and I amwondering how we can find a common place to figure out how many of there are and what to do? How to live? Where to live? What typie of placew to develop? is it going to compounds and communial living? where we are at least near one anther ..for safely, medical and compaionsjip..I do not see myself having a signifigant other anymore and therefore at 56 and looking forward I am rather frightened at the prospect of ALONE..HOw can we find others ..I am willing to put a site together with someone..to spread this around..fiances are important and we are a minority that no one seems to pay attention to..How and to whom do we inform? What part of our government do we go to..How do we make ourselves heard and be paid attention too?
Spunky
 
  1  
Reply Wed 11 Nov, 2009 08:03 am
Ok...I've been divorced for 18 yrs..and about to turn 55, so single, old and childless..that would be me.
I work fulltime, volunteer at a local hospital at the info desk . I have been doing that for 11 yrs now. I also and have a Therapy dog that I take to visit patients in the hospital, have been doing that for 2 yrs. I also volunteer with the local animal shelter, I foster animals for them , do fundraising, do the TV spot on a local station,write their thank you letters and it goes on and on...and cold harsh reality is...is it possible that you will meet someone if you "get out there", but not probable and but in the grand scheme of things, after you have done the going and doing and trying..at the end of the day..when you go home..you are still alone, with no end or prospects in site.
You get involved and give of yourself.( I give til it hurts) and still I have to eat alone, sleep alone, do all the chores alone, make plans alone, go out to eat alone, travel alone and go dancing alone..and face it..most of these things are better with a partner.
and I say...why get female friend..they are for the most part, looking for the same thing I am and are as unhappy as I am. So you get a group of ladies and you all go out to eat with the hopes..that just maybe.."he" will pop up out of nowhere and then at the end of the nite..you go home alone and you have just put forth all that effort of being out with people you really didn't want to be with, doing something you really didn't want to do and for what??(think about it , if you had you choice of being with your lady friends or a significant other, what would you choose??)
I have learned to just go at everything alone..I figure that is how it going to be..so I may as well adjust, as best I can and learn to cope and problem solve for myself.
Have you noticed that the people who give you advise or tell you not to fret over being alone and that it will get better...all have someone. Think about it.
I wish you luck...but I tell people that you just have to learn to be Ok with not being Ok...or learn to be happy with not being happy.
It is the hand we have been dealt.
0 Replies
 
sallyw
 
  1  
Reply Tue 6 Apr, 2010 05:06 am
@tcis,
Hello. I know how you feel. I think we may be able to help one another. I've found your question by accident so I haven't read the able2know information - but is there a way we can correspond other than posting notes for free viewing? email? Are you in England? A lot of answers may be location-specific. I am in England. Very best wishes.
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sallyw
 
  1  
Reply Tue 6 Apr, 2010 05:08 am
@modo202,
A great idea. Let's do it! Are you in England? I'm in London. Best wishes and - success!
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OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Tue 6 Apr, 2010 06:32 am
@tcis,
tcis wrote:
Hi,

It appears that I am going to end up single, childless, and alone.
This didn't bother me when I was younger, but as I get older, it does.

What do people do when they find themselves single, older, and with no family?

Any ideas?
Enjoy every second of it!
Enjoy everything fun that the world has to offer.

I founded a fine dinning group in NY about 25 years ago,
some of whose members conform to your description.

We travel, too.





David
0 Replies
 
Planegirl
 
  1  
Reply Tue 17 Aug, 2010 11:16 am
I've pretty much decided I've been dying a slow death. I always thought it didn't matter that I didn't have a proper family, as I would have a big family of my own when I grew up. Despite my valliant efforts and staying in 2 abusive relationships, (I would do anything, be with anyone if I thought there was a chance I could have a family of my own) I am on my own, and just finished an early menopause. I was supposed to adopt children this year but was the victim of a major fraud that has seen me lose everything - home, business etc, and I now have given up hope. Funny thing is that when you lose all home, you cease to see yourself in a future at all - I have never experienced this before. I always thought having a family was a basic human right, and the greatest gift a man and woman give to one another. It is not to be for me. I have lost hope. I do not feel worthy as a woman, a partner nor do I feel human. We were at dinner on the weekend and the first question his friends ask me is "do you have children?" - I could just cry. I am grief stricken today, having realised I have run out of time, energy and hope. I think it's time to accept my lot, and find a way to end my misery. It's time to die, before I have another unhappy and lonely day. With noone to grieve for me, noone to care for, noone to bury me, the sooner the better. I kept moving forward all these years with a goal in mind. Now, it all seems like such a waste of time. My life means nothing to noone. I will not be missed, and the only response to my death will be that my partner will feel inconvenienced at having to bury me. At last, after all my servitude, he will have to do something for me.
Izzie
 
  1  
Reply Tue 17 Aug, 2010 11:33 am
@Planegirl,
Hey there Planegirl

Sometimes it does feel as though life is wasted, but it can change, it can.

Do you have people - a friend whom you can talk to in person? Do you have someone you can confide your feelings too.

Do talk here if you can and please don't give up hope. I know that sounds easy to say - but do try and talk with someone if you are on the edge.

Izzie
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OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Tue 17 Aug, 2010 12:09 pm
@tcis,
Make friends and have as much fun as u possibly CAN.





David
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OmSigDAVID
 
  2  
Reply Tue 17 Aug, 2010 12:18 pm
@Planegirl,

Y not do something to have some fun ?

Then think creatively as to how to improve your situation.


For my part, I 'm THRILLED that I don't have any children.





David
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eilee
 
  1  
Reply Mon 15 Nov, 2010 08:30 pm
@williewillie,
join a drum circle. It's fun and very relaxing. check on the internet, I'm sure there's one in your area. Lots of diverse people. Good Luck!!!
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matsue
 
  1  
Reply Sat 22 Jan, 2011 03:08 pm
@Planegirl,
hey are you still feeling blue? I just stumbled on this site...I am married but no kids and getting older and feeling similar...where are you in the world?
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OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Sat 22 Jan, 2011 03:24 pm
@tcis,
tcis wrote:
Hi,

It appears that I am going to end up single, childless, and alone.
This didn't bother me when I was younger,
but as I get older, it does.

What do people do when they find themselves single, older, and with no family?

Any ideas? What kind of supports are out there?

Thank you!
I 'm "single childless old alone".
I enjoy the world as much as possible;
appreciate its more beautiful components and have as much FUN as possible.

I advise u to accumulate as much wealth
as possible, to abide the event of the lifestyle that u want
and put together a good gun collection,
that appeals to your taste.





David
0 Replies
 
BKH23859
 
  1  
Reply Thu 3 Feb, 2011 11:45 pm
Ok, I came here looking for some healthier outlook that I just turned 40, am childless (not by choice) and am alone (by choice) and thought that I could turn to others whop are going thru the same thing but I see that I should keep on my same path, "ENJOY LIFE AND ALL THAT COMES!"
I wish that I would've had children. I dreamed of having children since I could dream of having children. But it didn't happen. Ok, NEXT STEP. What do I do now? I start living my life. I was not a great friend before in my 20'sand 30's. I was very self-centered, like most young people, and now, I have the greatest gift. I can be a true friend. Someone to help my friends. I can be the most AWESOME godmother or aunt. I get to be "that aunt" that helps my niece or nephew into a concert. I get to be the "cool" one when their parents are "old"or "uncool" I get to be the person that when other married and with children couples envy when we get to take off to go to Fiji...
I've learned this past year after I lost my amazing mother this past year, LIFE (what we have of it) is short, sweet and what we make of it. And I plan to do JUST THAT.
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OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Fri 4 Feb, 2011 02:17 am

My Godmother resigned.
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Sallyb
 
  1  
Reply Tue 8 Mar, 2011 08:35 pm
@Jack Webb,
Thank God for your input! My grown children really do not want to be very involved with me. The more I try to be with them and my grand-children, the more they resist. My older son (the one with children) is actually extremely rude or downright mean to me at times, and I never know when he is going to react like this or why. I have been trying to be involved in their lives for the past 8 years, and have spent much of that time extremely sad,anxious or depressed. Everyone says family and grandchildren are what make the aging process bearable, but that has certainly not been so in my case. When all my friends are with their families or grand-children I just feel worse and worse and despair over how I am going to manage. I really do like to spend time alone, so being real active as far as volunteering and socializing don't appeal much to me either. It was just extremely nice to hear from someone who has family but is totally enjoying his solitary life, and is not hung up on the way things should be.
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Sallyb
 
  1  
Reply Tue 8 Mar, 2011 08:39 pm
@williewillie,
If you get any good advice ,please pass it on. I am "circling the drain" so to speak. I feel exactly like you do!
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 8 Mar, 2011 09:06 pm
Bookmark as a bump..
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kirsty11
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Jul, 2011 09:26 am
@Sallyb,
Hi Sally b, I'm the opposite of you, that is a mum without a mum who cares, I joined a group adopt a mum to hopefully do just that but they all seem to be in Australia! I would be glad of motherly advice and to help likewise but it doesn't seem to have caught on in the uk yet. Hope you are well today xx
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