After infidelity discovery, what to do?

I met my husband in college and we engaged in a beautiful relationship, I fell in love, but after 6 months he changed. He did not want me to have friends, got mad if I did anything without him. I couldnt go out with little sisters, mom, and started isolating myself from family... So they disliked him. Tensions increased with my family and him, as they said he was too controlling... So I thought the solution was to marry him so I could have greater liberty from family to go out with him. I proposed, yes, backwards, as my mom wanted to send me to France. I told my family no, because I was getting married. Marriage made it worse, as just married I found out I was unable to have sex, even if I loved him, it hurt, and that affected him psichologically, and I started waking up when he was on top of me, and started having involuntary contractions that prevented sex, and he started being violent at home, broke everything around and was more isoated,I did not go to my cousins graduation, uncles anniversary, and ..... After 6 years of being married I added my exboyfriend to facebook, and before I knew it, I was emotionally involved... Worse yet, I decided to start seeing him. One day engaged further, and when I realized it, we were having sex, and yes, after not being able to have sex for six years with my husband until we hadnt tried anymore, I was having it with someone else... I told my husband I was leaving him.... And from that point, he changed, and became nice, but I was already involved. I knew the right thing was to stay married and leave the other person, and I started fighting my feelings, but at the end, left my home country to travel to the US with the other person. My husband found out and called me through skype that he knew I had travelled with him. He flew to the US and I closed the contact with the other person and decided to do things right... or so I thought. I forgot that honesty was important to restart, and I never mentioned I had sex with OM but he now saw a sudden change of me wanting sex with husband.... Although he suspected something, we did not talk about it, had 2 babies, and four years later.... He opened my erased facebook and read the old emails... And asked me to tell him everything... I now, after 4 years told of our new relationship, its over again... almost 1 year later to reading my facebook, he no longer loves me, he is back to not caring about me, although he is no longer violent, is now a wonderful father, works hard, cares about our house... I fell in love with my husband again but he no longer loves me. Now daily tells me he should have never married me, that I should go with OM, and some little insulting things, like that my sister didnt want to visit me because she is affraid I would get involved with her husband (he took care of spreadinf the facebok conversations)... When I saw him looking at porn and asked him, he says he is looking to see if he finds me in a pirn site I dont want us to fall in the old pattern of neglect and verbal insults... I am trying my best and have read he needs time but I am falling appart myself. What should I do?