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He seems interested but might have a girlfriend?

 
 
Reply Tue 23 Dec, 2014 09:09 pm
I noticed a guy at my college’s gym who I would see all the time. I smiled at him and he said hi, and the next day, he initiated a conversation with me. We see/talk to each other there several days a week. He’s 29, a grad student, and I’m 19. He SEEMED to show a lot of interest in me, he would remember EVERYTHING I told him, he would always ask me how my midterms or papers went, and he would look at me for a long time and smile and laugh at everything I said. I could just feel that he liked me. He would also send me texts saying have a good day, or good luck on your midterm, etc. We developed a pretty nice friendship, and he hugs me when he sees me on campus. One time I told him my hands were cold and he felt them, but kept his hands there for a longer time than necessary. He never asked me out though.

I did some Facebook stalking and came across some pictures from his family member's profile. They were of him and this girl who lives in China (I went on her profile). So it's a long distance relationship. The pictures showed that she visited him and his family over the summer. He was tagged in these pics, but they're hidden from his profile. Is he in a relationship? He has never mentioned her to me at all, which is odd, and how can I find out without being to direct? Why would he never bring her up to me?
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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 296 • Replies: 2
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jespah
 
  2  
Reply Tue 23 Dec, 2014 09:37 pm
@maddiewilson,
"Jeff (or whatever the hell his name is), do you want to get coffee outside of the gym some time?"

That's your line in the script.

His line back is something like -
  1. I'd love to! And then you go out for coffee and it's lovely and you ask him to go out for a real date and he says sure.
  2. I'd love to! And then you go out for coffee and it's lovely and you ask him to go out for a real date and he says sorry, but I have a girlfriend.
  3. I can't, I'm sorry, but I have a girlfriend/some other reason to not go out with you

Take the initiative because he is clearly dropping the ball when it comes to that. It's almost 2015, fercrissakes. Don't wait around for him to ask you out.

By the way, I suspect his answer will be #2. I further suspect that he has said nothing because he kind of likes the attention in person and is weighing his options with the long distance gal.

PS Don't creep people's Facebook profiles like that. It's dishonest. Just ask him out if you're not going to out and out ask if he's got a sweetheart. Being direct isn't being unromantic; it's banishing confusion. And it's a big part of turning from a teenager into an adult.
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PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Wed 24 Dec, 2014 11:30 am
@maddiewilson,
Just a word of advice: BEFORE you give a guy your phone number and allow texts and hugs from guys, ASK if he is free to do that. Like "Hey, you hug me really nice. Are you free to do that with a single girl? (Laughs)"

You got too familiar with him before you found out his status. That's could be a set up for a real let down.

PS I suppose you've been told there is a BIG gap between 19 and 29. Perhaps he's just flirting with you. Not fair!! Don't spend any time with an unavailable man.

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