Reply
Wed 17 Dec, 2014 02:29 am
Long story short, my dad died about 2 and a half years ago, and i haven't completely dealt with it. I don't really know how to. I cry myself to sleep every night, and i put on a happy face in the morning and pretend like everything is great. Up until a couple weeks ago, this was working just fine.
I was going to bed just like any other night. I dozed off into dream land and thats when it started.
I was in the hospital room. My dad was in the hospital bed, and i had an odd sense that i had been here before. The nurse came in and said,
"Alright Mr.Steve, it's time for your dose of dilaudid! This ought to make you feel good."
This was it. This was the day my dad died. But, not only the day my dad died, but minutes before it happened. I watch the nurse as she injects the needle in to the IV. Only this time, she looks at me. She smiles with a demonic, jagged toothed smile and cackles as if she knows what is about to happen. There is a force that won't let me look away. I can't stop it. My dad looks at me with the same wide-eyed glazed over, painful look he had on his face when i experienced this in real life.
Then i wake up screaming and crying.
That night, this terror not only happened once, but three times. Except, after the first time, i knew what was going to happen, yet i was hopeless in stopping it, and any attempt i made to wake up was in vain.
I woke up screaming every time.
I talked about it the next day to my beloved boyfriend who knows a lot about demonology and he came up with a lot of reasonable explanations. We decided that i needed to pray, which is the furthest thing from my nature, but i figured what the hell and gave it a shot. It's been a few weeks, and i have not had the nightmare. Until tonight. Twice so far within the span of about an hour. I am absolutely terrified to go back to sleep. I attempted to research who this female demon could possibly be, but I have had no such luck. I would really appreciate if anyone could help or at least point me in the right direction! I know the story is kind of long, but I want my point to be emphasized. Thank you! Gig Em!
@aggiegirl2016,
There are no such things as demons - it's a bad dream. Maybe your subconscious is just reminding you that you haven't 'dealt with' your Dad's death yet.
Your subconscious is probably dealing with the fleeting thought that the Drs and nurses somehow contributed to your father's death, or at least speeded it up.
This is a common feeling. Family members are so helpless at the end-of-life matters. We see someone give our loved ones an injection, then they die. We try to tied the two things together. In reality, the shot just took away the pain and allowed him go on to his journey, pain free.
The next time you have this dream, thank the "demon" nurse for allowing your father to go on his next journey pain free. She was not a demon, at all.
@PUNKEY,
I guess what I don't understand is why she appears so evil. If she is doing good, why is her demeanor so evil? If it is my subconscious telling me I need to deal with the situation, why is it personifying my own personal problem in another being? That just doesn't make sense to me
No idea why you think you need to wake up and "put on a happy face."
That's part of how you haven't dealt with it.
There are obviously many resources for you to help.
Look them up.
@aggiegirl2016,
Agg, you might get more response by condensing, summarizing, paragraphing with carriage returns, etc. You can introduce detail in subsequent postings
@aggiegirl2016,
Quote: If it is my subconscious telling me I need to deal with the situation, why is it personifying my own personal problem in another being? That just doesn't make sense to me
Since when do dreams make sense?
@Pearlylustre,
It makes as much sense as talking to her
"beloved boyfriend who knows a lot about demonology and he came up with a lot of reasonable explanations."
The message your dream is sending to you seems to be: a nurse killed your father by overdosing his morphine.
Is there some possible truth there? Is there someone you can talk to, who would know better, like your mother? Did you actually see something like this injection happening?
It could be true. It could also be an ungrounded fear. In any case, it won't bring your father back and if true, it may be an act of mercy rather than evil. But if you want the dream to stop, you will have to explore the issue. My 2 cts anyway.
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:
It makes as much sense as talking to her
"beloved boyfriend who knows a lot about demonology and he came up with a lot of reasonable explanations."
When I was a young 'un, I got interested in voodoo. Guess what. I had nightmares with voodoo-related imagery. Grew out of voodoo, the voodoo-nightmares disappeared.
@FBM,
Only problem with that is mourning over my dad's death isn't a phase
Thank y'all so much for your insight. I find it quite helpful.
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace