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Fathers rights

 
 
Reply Fri 5 Dec, 2014 05:42 pm
I have a question: I was dating a german girl that lives in berlin germany. I am from the united states. She came over to see me in usa and I got her pregnant. She broke up with me right when she also told me she was pregnant. She told me she was going to have an abortion and I was so upset over this. I ended up losing contact with her and she ended up having the baby behind my back and didn't even tell me. She decided to tell me 3 months after her birth. I did not have the chance to even see the birth of my own first child. She contacted me and wants me to be a part of my little girls life. She does not want the courts involved and just wants to handle this as friends. I requested a dna test that she is going to ship over to me and I am going to confirm I am the father which I already basically know i am. I just want to know my rights. After I am identified as the father I want my baby to have my last name and I also want her to have dual citizenship for both germany and usa. I am going to send her money every month and do whatever I can for my daughter. Can somebody please give me advice on what to do. I want whats best for my daughter but I want to be a part of my life and need advice on german law and what rights I have and how I should go about this. I look forward to your replies
 
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Fri 5 Dec, 2014 05:53 pm
@irishveith,
Get a lawyer. And make sure that they send someone from the firm to observe the DNA testing. Otherwise, she could tell you anything in order to get your money.

And she might be fully sincere and honest and all. I hope she is. But there is an enormous opportunity for fraud here. Do protect your wallet in all of this. I don't begrudge this child a new pair of shoes, but if she's not your kid, then you don't owe anything.
irishveith
 
  1  
Reply Fri 5 Dec, 2014 05:57 pm
@jespah,
she is not out for money at all. She doesn't even want money from me. I am not going to not take care of my child though and going to send her money on my own doing. I requested the dna test even though she looks just like me. I just want rights to give her dual citizenship and and give her my last name. My ex doesn't want the courts involved because she said it will cost us both a ton of money.
roger
 
  2  
Reply Fri 5 Dec, 2014 06:12 pm
@irishveith,
She waited three months after birth to let you know. I'm kind of thinking that all the wonderful things she tells you are worth further consideration.
irishveith
 
  1  
Reply Fri 5 Dec, 2014 06:16 pm
@roger,
she said she did it for the health of the baby and didn't want any stress from me. She truly is a good mother but I want to know what my rights are and how german law comes into play
roger
 
  1  
Reply Fri 5 Dec, 2014 06:23 pm
@irishveith,
I understand that I didn't address your actual question at all. I do try to not do that.
0 Replies
 
Walter Hinteler
 
  3  
Reply Fri 5 Dec, 2014 11:47 pm
@irishveith,
irishveith wrote:
I just want to know my rights. After I am identified as the father I want my baby to have my last name and I also want her to have dual citizenship for both germany and usa. I am going to send her money every month and do whatever I can for my daughter. Can somebody please give me advice on what to do. I want whats best for my daughter but I want to be a part of my life and need advice on german law and what rights I have and how I should go about this. I look forward to your replies
If your name is registered at the registry office, you're the legally father.
The girl can't have (easily) your name, if you're not married to the mother AND since the baby is already registered with her mother's name.
Dual nationality is the same (at least under German law) since you are not registered as father (now).


Regarding taking part on your life:
I think, the mother's wish has to be respected as well, namely not to go through the courts. So I suggest, you address the local "Jugendamt" at the "Bezirksverwaltung" in that "Bezirk" (district) of Berlin where she lives. (You should address it to "Kindschaftsrechtliche Hilfen".) Services are free of charge. And you would get at least an answer which all (legal) possibilities .... even without giving them details about the girl's name and address.
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Dec, 2014 04:32 am
@Walter Hinteler,
For the father to be able to extend US citizen to his foreign child there is legal steps that must be taken under US laws and in a given time period.

US fathers are not in the same position under US laws as US mothers are as far as this issue is concern a fact that when challenge had been confirmed by US courts.

He need to see a US lawyer at the very least who is an expert in such matters to protect this child rights to claims US citizenship if the child at some point would care to do so.
Walter Hinteler
 
  2  
Reply Sat 6 Dec, 2014 04:01 pm
@BillRM,
As far as I understand, the child is born in Berlin/Germany and the mother is German.

Allied laws in Berlin were nullified by Treaty on the Final Settlement with Respect to Germany (effective from 15 March 1991 onwards).
Besides that, the "Law on Civil Status" (Personenstandsgesetz) was valid in Berlin all the time.

Since the mother is German, the child is German as well.
Since obviously no father is registered, the fatherhood has to be registered before anything else happens.

That certainly might be totally different in the USA, but as said: I'd thought, the mother and child are in Germany.
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Dec, 2014 04:23 pm
@Walter Hinteler,
Quote:
That certainly might be totally different in the USA, but as said: I'd thought, the mother and child are in Germany.


It is my understanding that the mother and the child also are living in Germany however it is also my understanding that if the American father does take certain steps the child on reaching adulthood can go to the American Embassy and received an American passport.

The man should in any case talk to a lawyer who is an expert in American citizenship issues.
Walter Hinteler
 
  4  
Reply Sat 6 Dec, 2014 11:52 pm
@BillRM,
BillRM wrote:
The man should in any case talk to a lawyer who is an expert in American citizenship issues.


The child is German. He isn't registered as father.

And I have sincere doubts that an expert in American citizenship issues knows more about German family law than people here.
Walter Hinteler
 
  2  
Reply Sun 7 Dec, 2014 12:53 am
@Walter Hinteler,
irishveith wrote:
I just want rights to give her dual citizenship and and give her my last name.

irishveith wrote:
.. I want to know what my rights are and how german law comes into play
Since the child is German and obviously lives in German, here, it's all about German laws.
After being registered as father, dual citizenship for the child is just a bureaucracy act.
Giving the child your last name - well, it's again a German law thing: you can change that it at the registry office, if the mother accepts and the office accepts. If not, you can try it (with lawyers specialised in administration law) via the administration court.
0 Replies
 
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Sun 7 Dec, 2014 12:55 am
@Walter Hinteler,
If the child has an American father, the child is considered an American citizen. Albeit, a child with duel citizenship. One of my sons friends became enamored with a German women when they both worked in Bermuda. They share custody now of two children, however, the mother returned to Germany, the father followed and now they are estranged but the father has remained in Germany in order to have access to his children. I've met the children, they are very attractive but they are incredibly biased against Americans. I've worked with many families from around the world but I've never met children who are so disrespectful around adults. Please let me emphasize that I've been around many Eastern European dependent children, but these two are a glaring exception. I assume it's because the parents are estranged.

I'm sure your old flame is a terrific mother, a wonderful citizen et al. But get a lawyer who understands international law and international parental issues. Germany will protect the child as a German citizen, and the US will see the child as an American citizen. So you are stuck with this uncertain situation. I understand you want to believe this child is yours, however, she might not be. You truly must get a DNA test and hopefully there is an American Consulate that can oversee the test. I commend you for taking responsibility, however I caution you do take every step to make sure this child is yours.

If you want this child to be yours, I truly hope she is. However, there are many legal issues involved, including inheritance. Might not sound like a big deal now, but if you die before your parents, or die before a legal spouse and children do, this child in Germany is entitled to a portion of your estate. If she is your child, she deserves to be an heir, if she isn't, this woman could be stealing from your future children. I'm sure right now you are an emotional wreck, I would be, that's why you need to take a step back and touch all the legal buttons. All I can tell you is please do not get attached before you find out for sure this child is your mothers grand daughter. If you don't, there will always be a possibility your entire family will be devastated if after years of thinking this child is family it's discovered she's not.

Actually my biggest concern is the baby. She deserves an honest account of who her parents are and everything that goes along with it. Especially, the medical history. Which country gets to claim the child as a citizen pales in comparison to the rights of this little girl knowing who her father is. It's pretty easy to determine who mom is, it's tricky without DNA to determine who dad is.
oralloy
 
  -1  
Reply Sun 7 Dec, 2014 01:04 am
@Walter Hinteler,
Walter Hinteler wrote:
And I have sincere doubts that an expert in American citizenship issues knows more about German family law than people here.

What does German family law have to do with the question of whether the US government offers US citizenship to the child?
0 Replies
 
glitterbag
 
  2  
Reply Sun 7 Dec, 2014 01:06 am
@glitterbag,
And by the way, I agree with Walter that Germany sees this child as German, but even Walter knows somebody had to be the father. As an individual, it's going to be difficult to get Germany to acknowledge you as the father. American courts will consider you responsible if you assert yourself as Dad and start child support. If the baby is yours, you are responsible for support, but please don't be a patsy. I'm guessing you know very little about German Law but I'm betting this baby's mother knows more than you do regarding American Court system and how they see child support. It might be a good idea to see who is registered as father on the baby's birth certificate. If somebody has claimed paternity, please tread carefully.
0 Replies
 
Walter Hinteler
 
  2  
Reply Sun 7 Dec, 2014 01:15 am
@glitterbag,
You certainly might be completely correct.

But again: mother and child live in Germany. Both are Germans. And the child doesn't have legally a father. (The acknowledgement of paternity can't be done without the consent of mother and child [here: the person acting legally for the child].)
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Sun 7 Dec, 2014 01:34 am
@Walter Hinteler,
I accept your interpretation of German Law, but seriously, we both know a male was necessary to make a baby. Unless she employed fertility treatments, which would usually mean the American she reached out to cannot be the baby's father. In the 1920's, birth certificates were occasionally filled out as "father unknown", but somebody is the baby's father....there is no guarantee that dad is the guy our fräulein sent a note to. And she doesn't want lawyers, she wants to handle the issue of maternal and paternal issues as FRIENDS!!!! Right now, there is no evidence the child is anything but German. So, there should be a embassy or a consulate in Berlin that can administer the DNA TEST. BUT, relax, the baby will not become a ping pong diplomatic tool. If a German man or anyone other than our boy is the child's father, it really needs to be nailed down flat.
roger
 
  3  
Reply Sun 7 Dec, 2014 01:42 am
@glitterbag,
Right. She doesn't want lawyers. She also doesn't want courts. I can think of several reasons for that.
Walter Hinteler
 
  2  
Reply Sun 7 Dec, 2014 02:01 am
@glitterbag,
I really was just trying to mention some legal affects here - and how to deal with them.
It actually really would be the easiest (and cheapest) way tocontact that above mentioned office.

In the registration/birth certificate, the space for the father is just crossed out.
0 Replies
 
Walter Hinteler
 
  2  
Reply Sun 7 Dec, 2014 02:03 am
@roger,
Right.
And he doesn't want to care for the baby but wants the baby to have his last name and dual citizenship.
 

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