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Is she interested? Or are we just friends?

 
 
Reply Thu 4 Dec, 2014 01:55 pm
Dani and I have been doing these study sessions over the semester, She was the first one to suggest we do sch a thing and over the months, sometimes I'd be the one to call her up and other times, she'd be the one to set it up.

WE talk about work mostly but we always go for coffee after and talk bout ourselves.
I gave her a teddy bear when it was her birthday after our last study session jsut before I got on the bus to leave. She was really grateful about it, her face went blood red and said "thank you!" but I was so nervous I just said bye! and left.

We sit beside each other 99% of the time during our lecture and a couple times, we'll just randomly look at one another and smile.

I made a post (anonymously) bout asian guys interested in white girls and I liked it. Then her roomate tags Danielle in another comment saying "Danielle, That's you! Wink" to which she replies to her roommates comment "I hate you."

Should I take note of that?

THEN THIS HAPPENED last night. I was texting her and she said how she was going home (she lives on residence in our uni) last night and she hinted how the last problem set for our class was up. I asked if she wanted to meet on Friday and she said she doesn't know yet and will text me back to let me know. I said sure and asked for her snapchat...she didn't reply to this but she's on facebook mobile and is using it.

Did I screw up asking for her snapchat? What do I do now?

There was one other time where I sent her a text and a couple days later she went "Damn, I just got this now!" but what are the odds of that happening twice? and on a text where I asked her for something?

Is she still interested? (she IS single)

Thanks!
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Type: Question • Score: 5 • Views: 1,156 • Replies: 19
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glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Dec, 2014 02:13 pm
@mandophon,
I don't know how to characterize your situation, but I do know it's possible to miss a text. And it's also possible to miss several. Unfortunately, all these devices give you a feeling you are in constant contact with everybody, but it's not possible to be awake or available 24/7. Plus, there are times during the day when you have to have your phone turned off. My husband works for DOD and cannot even take his cell into work. It has to remain in the car.
0 Replies
 
Banana Breath
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Dec, 2014 02:25 pm
@mandophon,
Use room temperature butter to grease an 8-inch souffle mold. Add the grated Parmesan and roll around the mold to cover the sides. Cover with plastic wrap and place into the freezer for 5 minutes.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.

In a small saucepan, heat the butter. Allow all of the water to cook out.

In a separate bowl combine the flour, dry mustard, garlic powder, and kosher salt. Whisk this mixture into the melted butter. Cook for 2 minutes.

Whisk in the hot milk and turn the heat to high. Once the mixture reaches a boil, remove from the heat.

In a separate bowl, beat the egg yolks to a creamy consistency. Temper the yolks into the milk mixture, constantly whisking. Remove from the heat and add the cheese. Whisk until incorporated.

In a separate bowl, using a hand mixer, whip the egg whites and cream of tartar until glossy and firm. Add 1/4 of the mixture to the base. Continue to add the whites by thirds, folding very gently.

Pour the mixture into the souffle. Fill the souffle to 1/2-inch from the top. Place on an aluminum pie pan. Bake in the oven for 35 minutes.

Read more at: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/cheese-souffle-recipe.html?oc=linkback
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Dec, 2014 02:26 pm
@mandophon,
mandophon wrote:

Is she still interested? (she IS single)


nothing you've posted suggests that she was interested, let alone is interested

gotta say - avoid the teddy bear thing - when I was in uni a long time ago, we considered those a bad sign - they're not for adults

the interchange between Dani and her roommate suggests that they're aware of your interest in Dani and it's not appreciated by her (she doesn't want anyone to take note of it)
mandophon
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Dec, 2014 02:58 pm
@ehBeth,
ya the study sessions alone...either we're good friends or she is interested...the only thing is, we just started talking to one another so I doubt we were that close to be friends to start session to begin with right?

Got it, avoid fluffy kid stuff in the future!

really? I thought the conversation between Dani and her roommate suggests that she told her roommate that she likes someone whose asian and her roommate is teasing her about it.

Sorry, it's hard to remain objective when I'm in the center of it all you know?
mandophon
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Dec, 2014 02:58 pm
@Banana Breath,
wtf?
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Dec, 2014 03:13 pm
@mandophon,
Being friendly with study pals is just that. It's not necessarily a friendship or an indication of interest.

What you've described doesn't sound like interest.

I read the exchange between Dani and her friend as not being positive for you. I could be wrong, but I suspect the teddy bear might be the reason she seems to be backing away carefully - likes you as a study pal but that's it.
0 Replies
 
mandophon
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Dec, 2014 04:52 pm
what do you guys think? Idk, I mean, it seems weird that Danielle would spend so much time alone with me no?

In the beginning of these sessions, she asked if I wanted to meet up with her and another guy. When I met at our meeting place 10 mins early, she was already there. I started talking to her and I asked if the other guy was coming or not.

She said she'd text him then a few minutes later, said he wasn't coming. He never came or probably never knew Danielle and I were doing study sessions to begin with...

Should I still ask her out? I mean, worse comes to worse, it's a no...but you know, want to know what I'm getting into and some second opinions would be awesome!
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Dec, 2014 05:32 pm
YES! Ask her out. Then you will know if she wants your study-friendship to be anything more than that.

mandophon
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Dec, 2014 05:49 pm
@PUNKEY,
ya I plan to do so...but do you think we're just friends?
glitterbag
 
  2  
Reply Thu 4 Dec, 2014 09:33 pm
@mandophon,
Ok, if you ask her out and she is not interested, it could screw up the study sessions. You said this has been going on for this semester, that's not a lot of time and maybe all she wants is a study buddy because it's helpful for her, and hopefully it's helpful to you as well.

I doubt that you being Asian is a minus or a plus. If she's attracted to you, that's all that matters. However, I think you are too hopeful in your attempt to read 'signals'. Nothing you've printed so far tells me anything more than just she's friendly. I wish I could tell you something more optimistic, but please tread carefully. You should ask yourself how you would feel about continuing the study sessions if she is not interested in you in a romantic way. Also, please remember that some people are just more friendly and outgoing. She may see you as a peer (which is what I think is happening), but that is actually a good thing. She sees you as a fellow scholar and it also means she values your company, but if you move too fast, it could get all awkward and screwed up.

0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Dec, 2014 09:43 pm
@mandophon,
Do you want to continue the study sessions with her?

0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Dec, 2014 09:46 pm
@mandophon,
so far three of us have commented that this is a study friendship

I think we understand you'd like it to be more but the reality is - sometimes a study friend is just that - a study friend.

If you're ok with the possibility of that ending, go ahead and ask her out.

Your first post already suggests that she doesn't want to got past a study friendship - so decide if you want to risk that ending.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Thu 4 Dec, 2014 09:47 pm
@mandophon,
mandophon wrote:
I mean, it seems weird that Danielle would spend so much time alone with me no?


no - seems like no big deal
Banana Breath
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Dec, 2014 10:56 pm
@mandophon,
Quote:
@Banana Breath,
wtf?


Love is like a souffle. It's a metaphor. You watch it rise and think things are going well, then poof... suddenly it's flat and you have nothing.

0 Replies
 
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Fri 5 Dec, 2014 03:43 pm
@ehBeth,
ehBeth wrote:

mandophon wrote:
I mean, it seems weird that Danielle would spend so much time alone with me no?


no - seems like no big deal


I'm glad ehBeth caught that. The fact that she is studying with you does not mean she enjoys being alone with you. She seems to think its a study buddy situation. I've traveled with men on TDY's, sometimes one man and me. We had a job to do, we were not on a date, and it's ridiculous to think that I would need a chaperone to make sure the man didn't suddenly assume we were on a couples vacation. You and this young woman's job right now is to get an education. Perhaps you should only study with males. You are starting to sound very foolish about women. That you would even suggest it was weird that she studied with you alone, makes my creepy alarm go off. Good catch Beth.
mandophon
 
  1  
Reply Sun 7 Dec, 2014 01:11 pm
@glitterbag,
wait now I'm creepy? Well it's like this, from what you (and other people have said), you guys are adults, ones with leading careers and probably have the someone right now.

As a first year university student, it raises flags as to the fact that she just wants to spend time with me...that's what alot of people my age say. Perhaps it looks juvienlie at your age because well ,you went through this right?

But that makes sense,I think I am making a bit more of a deal than I should be but I don't think it's creepy to think that it's something more...I'm not thinking about making sexual advances onto her or anything.

I have girl friends but they all go for advice to me about guys too and when I ask them bout this, they all have conflicting answers.

I don't like studying with my guy friends cause we ALWAYS end up fooling around and getting little work done. When I work with a girl like Danielle, who isn't a guy and isn't a girl friend of mine (least in my eyes), it forces me to work when I'm with her, because I want to show myself at the best position I can when I'm around her!

Well when I think about it, when you are leading a carreer, obviously if you're on a business trip and you're with a man, it means nothing, it's all business no? but I think I see a little bit in what you're getting at here
glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Dec, 2014 03:07 pm
@mandophon,
Yes, I'm much olde than you and I'm also a woman. This might be hard to believe, but older women remember what it was like to be young girls in college. I also remember confused but eager young men who got a little giddy when they were not sure what the limits should be. I think your best bet is to treat this girl with the respect you would like for yourself. The other males get silly in study groups???? All the more reason to maintain a healthy productive relationship with this girl. If she is interested in you, it will become apparent.

Now, a bit about being a women in your 30's and 40's traveling or working alone with male colleagues. At your age, it's probably hard to believe that women in that age group could be even remotely attractive to men. Unfortunately, not all men get the memo. I don't want you to assume that I was well treated because men knew I was married, it was very disheartening when a male colleague would try to see if we could work in some alone-alone
time during business trips. Even 40 year old women can get creeped out by a
colleague they respect if he steps over the line.

You are getting advice from other first year university students, it doesn't sound juvenile to me, it IS juvenile. I'm trying to help you not act like a love-sick boy by reading all sorts of motivation into every little thing she says or does. By the way, you are only 18 or 19, why do you think you need to be with somebody, you aren't seriously thinking you should be married or in a committed relationship are you? Get thru college first, met lots of different people. This young woman might be in your life for many years as either a friend, a colleague, but you can screw all that up in an instant if you behave like a love-sick puppy.

mandophon
 
  1  
Reply Sat 13 Dec, 2014 08:26 pm
@glitterbag,
all very true. I'm not looking for a hookup. Otherwise, I'd jsut go to a club or somewhere to look for it and wouldn't be here asking for advice but throw all this out the window clean slate.

I asked Joyce out :
and she said yes!

Now I wanted to ask you...is this an actual yes for a DATE, an actual yes for a HANGOUT (as one person told me was) or a I-don't-want-to-make-it-akward-so-when-he-texts-me-I'll-put-him-down-nicely yes?

This is what happened, I gave her a chem package to help her for her chem exam (I left a note that said: Good luck Joy! - Mando) after she asked a while back but I had no time until now to really get it. She was so exicited and was really happy. ANyways, she left from the front doors and I went through the back door and intercepted her outside. She saw me and said hey! and kinda smiled. It was freezing outside, it was snowing so I said to her. "Hey so I heard you had a trip till the 27th, do you want to go to the movies after?"

she said this "yes, anything to get out of the house!"

then I said "cool, what movie do you want to watch?"

She said: "I'm fine with whatever, you pick."

then I said "cool see ya!" and she said bye

then she came back about an hour later, when I was guarding the pool cause she forgot her swimsuit, she poked her head out of the office and screamed Hi to me

Where do I stand?
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sat 13 Dec, 2014 08:33 pm
Why are you asking us?
Do you plan to ask others for the rest of your life, thus spending it online?
0 Replies
 
 

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