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My Insecurities Could Eat Me Alive!

 
 
Reply Mon 24 Nov, 2014 08:20 am
I'm a 26 year old Black man. For the past 5-6 months, I've been in a relationship with a young lady that is 7 years my senior. I am so in love with this woman that it's not even funny. On the surface, she's pretty much everything that a man could ever ask for. She claims to be in love with me just as much as I am with her. She's very supportive of me. Always willing to go the extra mile just to make sure I'm ok. Never says or does anything to make me feel emasculated. She's probably one of the easiest people in the world to talk to and get along with. As cliche as it may sound, she's almost too good to be true. And this is why. You see, what I haven't told you is that I'm homeless and out of work at the moment. I have been in this same fucked up situation for the better portion of our relationship. I've been through so much. From sleeping in my car, to homeless shelters and right now I'm squatting in a forclosed house with some friends of mine. Plus I have 2 young sons that I don't really get to see due to a very volatile relationship between their mother and I. She is fully aware of my whole situation. I haven't kept anything a secret from her at all. She on the other hand is actually pretty financially stable. She has looked out for me on numerous occassions. Even when I was staying at the homeless shelter, she'd drive out every Saturday to come visit and eat lunch with me. For me to say that she's everything a man could ever ask for and then some, wouldn't even do her justice. Sounds like the perfect woman right? Well here's where my dilemma comes into play. When I met her back in June of this year, she told me that she had been in a relationship for about 3 years. That all changed for her in Fall, 2013 when the person she had been with did something that landed him in jail. At the time she and I met, she expressed to me that she and the guy were technically still together, seeing as to how they had never really broken up. She also told me that his trial was set to start in October that just passed. She told me that she had been called as a witness and was set to testify on his behalf. She said that she had been keeping in contact with him as well as his grandmother throughout the duration of his incarceration. We eventually claimed that we had both developed very strong feelings for one another. She expressed to me that she was willing to sever all ties with her incarcerated boyfriend and refused to show up in court on his behalf as a way to solidify her allegiance to me and solidify her commitment to our relationship. Now do you guys see why I'm so worried? How could she feel so strongly about me in such a short amount of time and be ready to start such a major commitment? But then again, that's not all. So like I told you, it's been 6 months and she has yet to invite me into her house. I haven't met not one friend or family member. When we get together, we either sit in her car or we rent a room. We go out to eat in public and all, but I still feel as though she's keeping something from me. She claims that she doesn't have a Facebook page. I wouldn't find that so hard to believe if she didn't have some other social media networking accounts. For instance, I met her on an app called Tango. She has an instagram, but she claims that she doesn't use it very often. She just recently added and accepted my request on there. Also, just prior to her approving my follow request, I've noticed that she deleted some pictures as well as she doesn't want to leave comments on any of my pictures. She also says that she'd prefer I didn't leave any comments on hers either. Especially none that would make it obvious that she and I are an item. She just seems to be so secretive and closeted when it comes to the two of us doing anything that normal couples do. There's even more to the story, but that's most of it. I'm just really confused because I really love her. I just don't want to get hurt. Can someone please give me some advice?
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chai2
 
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Reply Mon 24 Nov, 2014 08:23 am
@QuransDad,
I think it's uber shitty of her not to show up at court as a witness for someone who depended on her testimony.

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