Are Parents Insane?

Yes. Though I learned, as a basketball ref for kids' games, that the parental intensity tends to diminish as the kids get older. While everyone shows up to watch the 10 y.o. kids trip all over themselves on the court, there wasn't much of a crowd to watch the 13 y.o. kids. Made it a lot easier for the ref, I assure you...

Yes. If they were sane, they wouldn't have become parents. (winky winky).

Thanks Patio - I guess I am insane for having children. They do make you crazy.

As far as the age - at least that is comforting. I plan on always attending my children's events to cheer them on and hope never to interfere with the event. The weird thing of this though is all the parents in my kids class (the youngest girls) were the last to buy tickets. It seems in this case it is the older kids parents. Luckily my daughter said she would prefer to take swimming so this may be my last with dance (hopefully).

ahhhhh, now you can look forward to the joy of the swim-meet!

<looking on rather nervously...>

You have great potential to become one of 'them', Linkat.

I'll let you in on something: I hated it when my parents came to my stuff, from the age of about nine on up.

Yeah, me too. They came to one track meet and it was totally distracting.

I don't know what I'm gonna do about that one. That's my pet theory for why all of this parental violence stuff is out of control, though -- at some point (I think John Hughes may have had something to do with this) it became accepted wisdom that kids are all hurt and stuff if their parents aren't there. So the parents go. But it's, face it, boring. So the parents have to try to psych themselves up. So they get totally involved in everything about the game. And once that happens, it's not too big of a leap -- bored, frustrated parents who have convinced themselves that this particular sporting event is the peak of possible importance of all time -- and that $#@! ref has to go and...

Anyway.

The problem is that now that it's accepted wisdom, you're a bad mean parent if you DON'T go. All the OTHER kids' moms and dads are there... except Madison's deadbeat dad and Chloe's workaholic mom who's always late...

We'll see.

God, mine kept coming even when I was in college. It got to the point where I didn't tell them about my shows any more. I mean, I was doing weird theater where I played masturbating National Guardsmen in a post-apocalyptic New York City ravaged by disease. Not the kind of stuff where you want Mom and Dad sitting in the audience and telling you afterward how "interesting" it was. But hey, that's me.

Oh god. That would be awful.

Wait, a similar thing happened when they asked nay demanded to read all of my fiction in college. I mean, I was a freshman trying to be all cutting edge and non-cliched and masturbating national guardsmen were very much the sort of thing that appeared often. Became a thing. "But my parents might read this! But I need to be true to my art and not pander to the pedestrian tastes of..." Coff.

Freshmen are like, really young, aren't they?

Yeah. I was a sophomore when I wrote a goofy little door farce that drew on family members as subjects. Nothing nasty, but not very nice, either. Luckily they didn't quite get it: each of 'em -- sister too -- saw the others in it, but not themselves.

Problem was, about halfway through, I got stuck on how to resolve the thing, and I was already committed to do it -- cast, actors, theater. So I made one of the characters gay -- which was, like, the thing in theater in the early 90s -- and made that revelation the climax of the play. Thing is, they probably saw it as some sort of confessional thing. Looking back, I suppose they were relieved to meet "serious" girlfriends, tattoos and piercings and buzzcuts and all...






(Have fun, new parents...)

Damn does children's activities have to ruin everything? I am just looking for some type of activity for my child that she can enjoy. I don't understand why everything has to be a competition. At 5 can't she just have some fun?

How can I prevent myself from being one of them? I just want to be positive and be there for their important events. I vow right here in front of you all to keep my mouth shut at any of my child's events. I will clap politely and give only positive to feedback to my child and other competitors. You have the right to beat me senseless if I open my mouth and/or act like an ass.

My mom finally explained why she always sat away from the other parents at games and other events. It bug the sh*t out of her when other parents would say or yell negative things.

If my daughter decides she finds it too distracting, maybe I will go but hide some where that she cannot see me. Right now she loves it when I watch her. She does love an audience. So even though it is boring at the dance class, I watch her and talk with all the other parents. Luckily the majority I have met at her dance class seem reasonable and down to earth.

Have you done any of the "getting up at an atrocious hour to sign her up for a class/trip/concert" yet, Linkat? Or getting up at an atrocious hour to book her club the arena/rink/pool for their practice time ...

Friends of mine who I couldn't see before noon on weekends, because they were sleeping - now I have to tell them not to call me before 7:00 a.m. on Saturdays

Not at all. This dance recital is the first of I have seen of anything like this. The other closest thing is I have bought her Disney on Ice Tickets, but am on a mailing list where I can get them before the go on sale. That is the closest thing I can think of. But then I just go on line and buy them. No waking early of standing in line.

She is also not involved in anything competitive. I figure 5 is way to young to be involved in competition. She has played Tball, but there is no score. She loves it.

So zip forward 16 plus years - funny to read this.

The daughter at the dance recital - that was the last dance recital. Since then she has tried many things - her tops were basketball and softball and though I said can't they just have fun --- yep it went competitive.

The other daughter who was just a toddler at the time is a senior in high school and yep she is even more competitive. I remember the first time she played where you actually win and lose - she was probably around 6 or 7ish her team was in town playoffs and when they lose they are done for the season. Her team lost and she cried...what?

Yep she is still like that - her high school softball team is horrible right now - she has not played softball herself for over 6 years (she was injured about 6 years ago and could not play for a year or two) and then she was playing even more competitive basketball and due to her high school at the time Saturday practice was required - she couldn't do both. Her current high school is flexible - she is pitching that she hasn't done for 6 years and the girls in the field really do not know how to play - it was been a tough two weeks as she does not like to lose.

So yep after harping 16 years ago about just having fun - it is now around competition. I am not one of those parents (thankfully) I try to keep quiet - although at basketball I do scream - but it is whenever one of the girls (on either team) takes a tough tumble. It scares me - they play so hard and having been through concussions and various injuries - I have screamed. My daughter finds this funny.

And she likes me to go to the games. Beginning of this season when I almost mentioned not going - she had a sad face. Seeing this is her last year of high school - I am going to every game (I can) even if they continue losing by double digits.

It goes fast.

Good read! I'm in a similar boat, my youngest is about to graduate high school. Her older brothers all played sports but not hard core. Some gymnastics, some swimming, some tennis, some basketball, even some roller hockey. She on the other hand was my uber athlete. She played everything and played it with gusto. COVID kind of put a kink in things junior and senior year, so no more soccer or track, but she's the captain of the tennis team and I'm treasuring every match before it's over.

Ah that's tough - exactly covid messed with last year - as she was going to play softball again for the first time in many years. However, she got to be captain and play in both basketball and softball. Basketball was a bit more successful (easier to still be successful even when you have several girls that really do not know how to play than on softball) - they did make it through to the semifinals by beating a team they lost to twice in the regular season.

Same - I am trying to attend every game - I just bring my lap top and do work in between.

I am fortunate in one way - she is going to play college basketball; unfortunate in another that it is quite a distance away that I won't get to see many in person - good that they do telecast them live so I can view. I hope to go see some as they do at least one travel tournament so there would be several games over a few day period.

I am the least competitive person I know (unless the challenge involves doing someone else's housework, in which case, I always win - I am SO not doing your dishes or floors) and passed that on to my daughter who wasn't the least bit sporty anyway (at age 5, the ballet teacher suggested she do art, lol). My son was in Triple A hockey his whole growing life and while he played well, he didn't take the wins or losses personally. So, I guess we want to perform well, but if we don't win, oh well. He's now an excellent golfer, but, of course, that's an individual sport.