What's going on in her mind?

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My "girlfriend" had recently broken up with me after about a month and a half of dating. We were exclusive to each other without the label for the entire month and a half. Everything was very good. Every date was fun and exciting and she looked forward to seeing me every time we had the chance to see each other. She was very cute to me while i was a little more hesitant towards being cute (due to the reason it takes me awhile to become comfortable with those things and it becomes even harder when we aren't really dating). We had sex on the second date (terrible idea), and we saw each other as much as we could during our time together. She enjoyed me in every way i could imagine, as a friend, as a sexual partner, and as a "lover". She eventually came out and said she just wanted to be single and get to know someone a little more before a relationship is developed. While breaking up she explained things just moved too fast for her, and i agreed with her. I offered that we could be friends and eventually get to know each other, have a blank slate between each other. She, however doesn't even know if she even wants to speak to me ever again. What is she thinking? She told me she had started to really like me and that's what scared her. How could she not want me to be in her life anymore? Is there a chance she will eventually miss me and want to start things over?

(We broke up a week ago)
(We never fought)
(During our talk when we had agreed upon the relationship moving yoo fast, we had a very light-hearted conversation, laughs were involved and there were a lot of smiles. But even that scared her and she explained she was scared we were friends and just left immediately after that.

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@jasperinf,

Quote:

What's going on in her mind?

First off, there is nobody on this site or on the entire planet other than her who can answer this question with any certainty.

That said, based on what you wrote, I would guess that she has simply decided she does not love you as she thought she did. It happens. She met you, she thought you were worth going out with, maybe even thought she loved you, but then decided that you just were not a fit for her for whatever reason. Don't try to rationalize it, you'll only drive yourself nuts.

Quote:

Is there a chance she will eventually miss me and want to start things over?

Anything is possible. But if I were you, I wouldn't sit around waiting on her.

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@jasperinf,

My observation is that right no she doesn't trust herself. If she can't do that, she can't trust another...right now!
Be patient ...for awhile ..and remind her with a funny light-hearted note you're interested without bugging or trying to coerce her.

Remember that she stated that she doesn't know what she wants...not that she has made up her mind yet.

Allow for another possibility, as well - that she might not be able to go backwards and feel confident with this turning into a relationship.

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She "doesn't even know if she even wants to speak to me ever again." That ought to tell you something. She changed her mind.

She Hit and Run. She's out of there.

You were right: sex on the second date was a bad idea; it got the relationship off on the wrong foot (she realized it afterwards). Her bad. Your bad.

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@PUNKEY,

As much as i hate to believe you, you're probably right. However, i failed to mention that before we broke up we had a very light-hearted conversation on what would happen regarding being friends after a potential break up. She stated she would still want to talk to me, i said i wouldn't. I stood by that until i realized that if we were to stay friends we could grow upon that. We seemed to had switched mindsets on being fiends after a breakup. I'm just very lost as what to think.
(We had this conversation a week before actually breaking things off)

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@jasperinf,

jasperinf wrote:

I offered that we could be friends and eventually get to know each other

today's life lesson: get to know someone before you start dating them. be a friend first.

dating someone you don't know is just, well, weird.

maybe a light email sometime, on a friendly note ... but definitely don't push and don't push anything along the idea of a relationship ... maybe a friendly coffee sometime

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@jasperinf,

Dates were fun - check.
Dates were exciting - check
She looked forward to seeing me - check
She was cute _ I wasn't I need more time to get into the relationship thingy
We had sex on the second date (oh oh)
She was a friend/sexual partner/ lover

BUT one day she came out and said she wanted to be single and get to know someone a little bit more before a relationship developed. Things have gone too fast.

Who instigated the relationship from dating you ?

"We were exclusive to each other without the label for the entire time".

What I am guessing is that you instigated the exclusiveness whilst only dating, she probably thought that was "cute"... But, then you asked her to be your girlfriend after 6 weeks, she said yes but then sat back and said "whoa" to soon, I'm enjoying the company, chemistry but I don't know this guy way to fast.

You're also not telling us from the day you made it a relationship whether you put restrictions on that relationship, ie) be home when I call, or I don't like you going out or where have you been today.

If none of that occurred, do you even know whether or not she had a previous relationship and it didn't work and was recent as in the break-up and she's not therefore ready for a relationship yet?

She wanted to be friends. Deal with it, be a friend. Who knows what the future holds who knows why she isn't ready for a relationship or whether she saw something in you that reminded her of a past situation that scared her.

Worse scenario you have a new friend.

We don't necessarily date and automatically fall in love. I have a feeling you pushed things quickly and that is what scared her.

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@FOUND SOUL,

Darn just came across your other thread

http://able2know.org/topic/259169-1

Yep... Previous bad relationship, drunken sex 2nd date.. Not interested in a relationship....

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What's going on in her mind?

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