Lost and Confused

End one relationship before starting or restarting another. If you don't want to be with the baby mama anymore, then go. Get an agreement drafted by a mediator or lawyer (in case your state does not allow binding agreements by mediators) and make sure to financially and emotionally provide for your daughter. Be cordial with the baby mama and continue to do so. This will go a long way toward being 'the best dad that (you) can be'. I also suggest this because entering into an affair essentially teaches your daughter that relationships and feelings are disposable. They can (and do) end, but it doesn't have to be a scorched earth policy. But sneaking around just teaches her how to cheat (and yes she will find out - kids aren't stupid or clueless).

As for your ex, it may or may not work out. Understand that you may have fuzzy, hazy nostalgia for something that was not as wonderful as you might remember it. Know that there was some sort of a reason why it ended between the two of you - don't whitewash that. It's part of the reality of the relationship dynamic with her.

You might end up with neither of them. Worse things have happened in the world, which will not end if you don't have either of them.

But take care of your daughter first, no matter how your love live goes.

Most likely your GF is not happy either and is waiting for you to bring up the subject.

Yes, agree with the above post, your first obligation is to your daughter. Make sure that is taken care of. Seek legal help ASAP to find out what your financial and visitation rights will be. The important thing is to make sure the child is raised in a happy home.

Then - zip it up. Spend some time reflecting on what you really want. You broke up with your ex for a reason. Figure out if you are just clinging to the fantasy past OR if there really was something there between you two. Don't be surprised if she has gone on . . . I imagine she has some strong feelings about what you have been doing for the past months.