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Fri 3 Jan, 2003 07:27 pm
My Mother Taught Me...
TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to fight with each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"
RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why."
FORESIGHT:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
IRONY:
"Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about."
The science of OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
CONTORTIONISM:
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
STAMINA:
"You'll sit there 'til all that spinach is finished."
WEATHER:
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
How to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"
HYPOCRISY:
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!"
THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your father!"
ENVY:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
And never say, "never." c.i.
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