Dating advice

Intentionally getting wrong people? Maybe your profile is bad. Consider what it's like, all of the elements, from soup to nuts. Have you got a flattering recent photograph? A profile where you are clear about what you want and present yourself in a positive manner? Are your specifications spelled out (e. g. if you want men under the age of 30 or over 5'10" or whatever - a lot of sites allow you to customize your preferences and you never even see men who don't fit these objective criteria)?

Finally, be patient. Go on a few dates with anyone who is at all promising; sometimes it takes a few tries for people to warm up. Don't go in thinking marriage. Think friendship and companionship to start. Go and have fun and don't measure some man for a wedding tuxedo, at least not in the beginning.

In the meantime, in addition to dating sites, go out and meet people! Take a class. Travel. Hang out in a coffee shop you like. Go to the gym. Check out the fall foliage (or spring flowers, if you're in the Southern Hemisphere) where you are. Volunteer for a charity and do good in the world. Say hi to people when you do. Male people. Female people. Old people. Young people. Attractive people. Ugly people. Single people. Married people. Just, be pleasant and friendly, and be open to new experiences in the world. Some of these people will become friends of yours, and they'll figure out pretty soon that you're single. Someone generally knows someone who's looking, so that's another angle. Or maybe you'll meet an unattached fellow at one of these places. Which is great, because you'd instantly already have something in common.

Finding a mate can sometimes be difficult. It means you need to be more proactive. But it's not impossible. Hang in there.

And, BTW, if you never find a mate, you shouldn't feel devalued as a person. That happens, too. A good, fulfilling life is possible even if no one ever puts a ring on it.

This happened to a female friend of mine. She was looking for a serious relationship.

She made the mistake of focusing solely on her ideal man.

One day, she met again with a former boyfriend from school years, and they had a dinner at her house. He took a friend with him.

In the middle of the conversation, she started to have a good time with the new friend, who was a very different kind of man from what she always thought should be her best match.

I saw her years later, married with this guy. Here is when she told me how it happened, and that she was happy with her marriage.

I think that the advice given in the other message from above is right, for you giving the opportunity to yourself of meeting with different kind of people who might or might not be what you expect as a husband.