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just not able to communicate...

 
 
Reply Sun 30 May, 2004 04:18 pm
I've noticed in my lifetime that occasionally I'll run into someone with whom I just can't communicate. For some reason, I would be misunderstood, and I would misunderstand the person.

Some call it "on different wavelenghts"...

I've learned that no matter how hard I try to restate my thoughts, how hard I try to make my statements more clear... it never gets across. Don't get me wrong, I get along with most people I know... but there's these few that are just unreachable.

Should I just avoid talking to these people... any thoughts?
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Type: Discussion • Score: 0 • Views: 1,093 • Replies: 11
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ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sun 30 May, 2004 04:24 pm
I think that it depends, in part, on whether you think it is worth communicating with those people, L.R.R.

As I get older, I realize that there really are some people that I just don't care to debate/discuss/talk with. Some I've told directly (turning 40 was very freeing in that regard), others I simply ignore.

Some egos are too big and too annoying to bother with. I take advantage of what I can from knowing them, but I don't speak with them on any meaningful level.
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Phoenix32890
 
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Reply Sun 30 May, 2004 04:25 pm
One of the most important things that I have learned in life, is that you "can't have everything in everybody". There are some people with whom I would never have a deep discussion, but might have fun doing other things with them.

IMO, if you have absolutely nothing in common with a person, there is no reason to interact with them. I think that you will find though, that we can find some area of common ground with almost anyone, so that we can relate with the person.
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L R R Hood
 
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Reply Sun 30 May, 2004 04:29 pm
Thanks! That helps me a lot Smile
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samantha n angie
 
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Reply Sun 30 May, 2004 04:31 pm
Hi LRR - Love the Avatar! My brother and I have this type of communication problem on certain subjects. I don't want to stop communicating with my bro, so I don't speak about things we just don't communicate well on. Is there any common ground that you do relate? Is this a relative, like in my case?
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hamburger
 
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Reply Sun 30 May, 2004 04:53 pm
ebeth wrote :" As I get older" ... hey, nothing to worry about, it happens to the best of us (where is the smiley ?). i have noticed that sometimes friends just absolutely want "to get it all out". they really don't want to discuss the issue but feel an urge to say "everything" they have to say. if you are a good listener and they are good friends, just let them go on. i have a few friends (we are all getting on in age) who every now and then have that urge; so i accomodate them. i am afraid, that i sometimes behave in the same odd way. no harm done. hbg
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L R R Hood
 
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Reply Sun 30 May, 2004 06:07 pm
Thanks for the avatar compliment, its my newest cat Smile

One of these people is my sister. I'll make a statement to her, and she'll respond in a way that makes me think she didn't hear me... as if I said something completely different. I'll try to correct, but she interrupts with, "I know I know..." and she's a sentence finisher, which doesn't help.

The other people are not people I really care to talk to any more... so its no big deal. I can't help but wonder if they are able to communicate to anyone at all...

then I think maybe its me Smile
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Gala
 
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Reply Sun 30 May, 2004 06:32 pm
hood, i've learned that good manners count with people i have nothing to share with-- the least i can do is extend the minimal courtesy, it keeps them at arms length. when it's family, that's a whole other beast, nonetheless, manners count and i measure my input with them, it saves a lot of energy.
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L R R Hood
 
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Reply Sun 30 May, 2004 06:35 pm
That's a good point.
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samantha n angie
 
  1  
Reply Mon 31 May, 2004 12:37 am
~ Your new cat is beautiful!

Gosh, that is a coincidence, when I read your dilemma, I immediately thought about my brother. I agree, it's a tough one when dealing with family, when you genuinely want to understand and to be understood, not agreed with so much, but heard ~ at least heard.

Funny, when I tried to tell my brother about how I felt, we didn't communicate well there either. Hopefully, you and your sister can communicate well in some areas and in others you just go with the flow. Not the best advice maybe, but I find the relationship with my brother rich in other areas, so I've accepted it now. I also know, that if I ever needed him, he'd be there for me and this caring quality about his character ~ well, I'm sure you know what I mean.
L.R.R.Hood wrote:
I can't help but wonder if they are able to communicate to anyone at all...

then I think maybe its me Smile

~ Don't feel bad, I used to think I was speaking a different language! Shocked Shocked Shocked :wink: Laughing
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L R R Hood
 
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Reply Mon 31 May, 2004 10:56 am
That's a good way to describe it... a different language. Sounds like you and your bro understand each other slightly better than me and my sister do. We get along, but sometimes things seem to go right over her head.

~my new cat is a biter! But I still love him Smile His name's Anubis, for the Egyptian mortuary diety. Some ask if Anubis had a dog's head... and I say that he DOES have a dog's head... in his stomache! lol
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Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Tue 1 Jun, 2004 09:38 am
I have some one like that I have to deal with at work. Unfortunately it is a client so I have no choice-I have to deal with them. I do the same thing I restate my thoughts and what the person stating to ensure there is no confusion, but yet there is always still confusion. I try to encourage this person, instead to send info in writing to avoid any miscommunication. When he has it did help. Unfortunately he prefers to discuss things over the phone where this miscommunication occurs.

So ideally although you may wish not to communicate with such people, there could be circumstances where you have no choice. In these situations, I believe the written word helps clarify any miscommunications.
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