Mon 27 Oct, 2014 08:51 pm
A very warm welcome to you all. I feel we can discuss things openly. Is that not the ultimate purpose of joining this website? I mean discussing sharing and getting advice from friends! Eventhough you are a stranger I am pouring out my heart to you. I hope you don’t mind being frankly honest in expressing myself. Well I am a bisexual single mother got a adorable young son I love him the most. Haven’t got much of family or friends to speak of. To be frank I am a nymph and a shameless one for sure. I don’t find anything in sex to be ‘degrading’ or ‘disgusting’ except animals and underage children. I do kinky and dirty things of which i sometimes used to feel a pinch of guilt but not anymore as I have come to accept that in sex whatever gives you inner satisfaction and happiness is good for you. I am in love with a woman (we are going to married soon!). She does amateur porn on the side and one day she took me to one of her shoots. OMG being filmed and photographed while doing all kinds of slutty dirty sexual acts is so hot. This ignited something which lay hidden deep. I always had this exhibitionist persona inside of me which used to come alive in my fantasies and which has nagged me for so long and which I have kept suppressed (although very agonizingly I must admit) till now but I think I have reached a point in my sexuality that I need to come to terms with it and watching that porn shoot kind of gave fire to it. I consider porn to be a form of art. I can say that for me the primary factor for doing porn is not monetary but rather the sense of satisfaction derived by finally accepting my exhibitionist persona. It’s like it will give me a sense of being sexually complete (although making some money doesn’t hurt anybody). My gf is also of the opinion that given my sexual appetite and that she is already doing it I should join her and that money and work are plenty. I must admit that yes I want to do porn all kinds of it and lots of it. I feel so porny porny all the time. I believe it’s no one else’s concern what I decide to do with my life and my body afterall we live only once so why not fulfill all my desires and live life to the fullest. However only one concern has stopped me from doing so till now. The thought of my son being jibed at others because of his parents doing porn (having same sex parents being a lesser hurdle to overcome) or him hating us for being adult performers is tormenting me all the time. My gf loves my son as her own and I want us three to have a healthy caring family life. My gf and I have talked about this a lot of times and she assures me that both of will bring him up in a supportive caring way that in time he will come to understand and accept what we do but I am not convinced. To be frank I am afraid. I am torn apart between my motherhood and accepting my sexual identity. This is creating lots of underlying tensions between me my gf and my son I would like to get advice and guidance from an adult performer preferably a woman and who is also a parent. I have to find a balance between my sexual identity and family relations. Your advice and guidance would be a great help.
You go do that. Good luck keeping custody.