@annonnymouss,
Listen to what Jespah is tell you. She's offering some very good advice. In my life, I've had some of those problems but I got help coping through some long-term counseling and behavior modification so as to avoid repeating behaviors that were causing destructive or toxic results.
FWIW, in my situation, I was diagnosed with ADD/ADHD. Some others I've known with similar descriptions were simply described as having learning disabilities but the degree of disability and their various treatments were often complex) Also, in my case, I changed my lifestyle (diet, exercise, sleep pattern), but I digress. This is a very difficult complex problem and should be left for medical prof to diagnose.
However, I'd never suggest that is your problem. If it were me, I would not wait any longer. The sooner you get help the sooner you can get on the right path.
I don't know what your psychological or medical problems are but what have the medical and/or psychiatric or psychologists have advised you? Please provide that info here as these details seem conspicuous in their absence. To not go to doctors with such problems would be against your best interests.
You owe it to yourself and family to get a complete physical and/or psychological work-up. Don't rely on the advice of strangers on the Internet to help with such chronic problems. You know this is not a small problem that will go away on its own. These sort of problems can be helped. There's no need to panic over this; however, you clearly need more prof help coping before things get worse.
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