My Girlfriend's 20 Year Old Son is Killing This Relationship

It seems like it's been hard to live the way you have been for the past year.

You tried using the advice provided by a therapist. Your girlfriend says she's going to work on things. Perhaps she will see the problems with her son more clearly when she's not distracted by trying to 'protect' him from you (not that I see what you did as something that he needed protecting from).

Best of luck to you in the next 6 weeks and the future.

Thanks, contrex. And thanks to everyone. I appreciate the help and feedback. It has been very helpful!

They move, not you.

Why should you have to pay to move, when the adult son is the problem?

I'm the only one giving any practical advice.

cj, what should he do? Tell her and her son to get out, and let them find a new place and spend their money.

She obviously is putting a lazy adult over her relationship, it's her problem to move.

I don't notice you saying they offered to do the right thing and move.

Chai, that would be a Mexican standoff!
They both signed the lease and are 50/50 in it. If he tells her to move with her son and she won't, what else is there to do? You cannot force someone to move, if they don't want to.

The son's not on the lease. He can leave.

His mother doesn't want him to leave....so it's still a catch 22.

I thought Ragman's advice was smart and logical. You can't force a lover's kid out without ruining the relationship forever. Even if the relationship is over - the dude is the one who can't tolerate the status quo. Since he refuses to live in the current situation, it's his place to go.

Telling her and deciding to move out is the best thing you can do. Sorry for your loss, but good luck in your future female endeavors. Adult kids are a VERY sticky situation for people my age.