Domenica was furious, vowed to catch Emilio and fix his plumbing.
Which proved she was not all that caring a mother, dead daughter and all.
As the group crowded into Julia's bedroom to see her apparently lifeless body for themselves, Romeo discovered a letter in Julia's handwriting sitting on top of her DVD player, addressed to himself.
"Romeo", it read, "I have planned to die of heartbreak because of my mother's refusal to let me marry you, or even pet heavily...."
Ha, ha, ha, ha, said Ossobuco when she heard that, knowing full well that Domenica herself was in love with Romeo..
...and had been carrying on a torrid affair with her daughter's boyfriend for over a year.
(That didn't count, I was finishing osso's sentence...)
The letter continued, "...so I've taken a couple of roofies to make everyone think I'm dead...I'm NOT! REALLY! I SWEAR!...Meet you at Starbucks at 10:30 tonite, I've got the tickets!"
Alas, the jig was up, because Romeo is slow-witted, and unable to read silently.
Dominica shook her daughter until she awoke, then (right there in front of God and everybody) told Julia about her own relationship with Romeo, causing the slow-witted boyfriend to have a massive coronary and die of embarrassment on the spot.
Julia was in shock. "That's it, momma, I'm going back to Leonard Bernstein!"
Meanwhile, on the balcony, Leonard tapped his baton...
Leonard was in the street below, playing with the guys and dolls.
As Leonard was heading to the West Side, Joolia realized that Igor was a hulking, bulky (in all the right places) bull of a man.
"What's the Story?" said Igor.
"I smell the rites of spring in the air," said Leonard, slyly.
Joolia, looking from Igor to Lenny, seemed torn at the choices, but told Igor to come along with Lenny (a threesome suddenly seemed such a good idea) warning him to watch out for the Jets.
mad bad leroy arrived leading the jets in that very sexy dance and ....
...they all tap dance down the street singing "I Feel Pretty" as the curtain falls.
Next story idea: GONE WITH THE WIND
<Eva's gonna be sorry>
Pffftttt! "Ohh, that was a wing-dinger, but my gas bloat is finally gone with the wind," said Clark over a large plate of beans.
