Please proof read my essay. Nobody has had any suggestions so far

Remembering that my coworkers told me not to let anything he says to get to me, I brushed it off. It was not until the day he sent me home because he heard me humming that I began to let me affect me.

It's for an English course and must be between 600-700. I know i rambled and put more informations than needed, but it was the only way I could make it the required length. I'm not very creative when it comes to Essay writing. Thank you for the feedback though.

Anonymous:
Would you Still Eat There?

As a society, we have the habit of complaining about trivial things.
I remember when I started my first job that I thought it was just ridiculous that we had to sweep and pick up trash from the parking lot. I had never realized how minor the complaints we had were until my previous job at Verona’s. The head cook, Cole, came from Albania and is he also the co-owner of the restaurant. Because he has such authority, and I assume because of his culture, Cole believes he has the right to act as he chooses. His complete lack of respect for the Health Code, his inappropriate comments to female workers, and his sexist views are outrageous and must be corrected.

I have worked in the food industry for seven years. I understand and respect the importance of the Health Code. I was astonished when I walked into the back kitchen on my first day to see a cigarette hanging out of Cole’s mouth while he was cooking. Being surprised by [no comma] this I asked our head waitress about the smoking policy. She informed me that, although both cooks smoke and drink in the kitchen, nobody is allowed to confront them. Germs are obviously not a concern for this restaurant. Many times pizza would slide off the pan and land on the floor, but if the appearance was not ruined they would send it out to the table. The main violation that concerned me was the re-use of bread. All tables would get a basket of rolls for their meals. When the customers at a table did not eat all of the bread, we were obligated to take what remained and place that bread in a dry, clean dish tub so that it was not wasted by being thrown away.

The head waitress was involved in my interview and hiring in addition to Cole. When she called me to offer me the job, she said “Ya know, all Cole cares about is if the waitress is attractive and has a nice body, but I was impressed with your experience.” Even though this was completely uncalled for and offended me, I still started work. At least once per night, Cole touches or has his arms around one of the girls he finds attractive. The discomfort that they feel is unacceptable.

I’ve heard stories about a cook getting fired because of dating a girl Cole thought was attractive and Cole firing girls for not putting up with him. The issue for us “unattractive girls” is constantly being ignored or being verbally abused.
Being treated like worthless trash because I am a girl is one of the most angering things I have experienced. I was told on my first day that I should never speak to Cole unless absolutely necessary. At first, I thought this was understandable since they are busy back in the kitchen most of the time and do not need distractions. One day when I said hello to Cole and asked how he was, I realized that was not the reason that they told me not to talk to him. The look on his face showed that he was offended that I spoke to him, and he screamed “NO TALKING! WORK, WORK IS WORK. YOU DON’T SPEAK.” Remembering that my co-workers told me not to let anything he says to get to me, I brushed it off. It was not until the day he sent me home because he heard me humming that I began to let it affect me.

There are always other reasons to complain at work, but one should try to look at important issues. No one should have to work in an environment such as this. Serious changes must be made in this company. People should never question [no s] their self-worth, especially not the younger girls, because of the way someone treats them, nor should customers be served something of lesser quality contaminated with bacteria because the company wants to save money by ignoring guidelines.

People should never question [no s] their self-worth, especially not the younger girls, because of the way someone treats them, nor should customers be served something of lesser quality contaminated with bacteria because the company wants to save money by ignoring legal guidelines.

ERRATUM:
"The head cook, Cole, came from Albania
and is he also the co-owner of the restaurant"

Properly is rendered:
The head cook, Cole, came from Albania and he is
also the co-owner of the restaurant.

Also, read up on what is called the passive voice and how to correct it. That alone will give your story more interest.

The sentence construction “(noun) (verb phrase) by (noun)” is known as passive voice or passive construction, ... .

The actors in this little drama are the spam spenders — or, to be more active, the spam senders are the actors in this little drama.

Confusion over avoiding the passive

Many grammarians and commentators on usage and writing have delivered themselves of truly fantastic statements about the passive construction. Almost without exception, they recommend that you should try to avoid it. Some denigrate and deplore it in more extreme terms, treating it as unnatural, evasive, or unmanly, or even evil.

The passive is of course perfectly respectable, and there is no reason to try to avoid it. (To say that it shouldn't be over-used, or it shouldn't be used where it is inappropriate, doesn't distinguish it from any other construction or expression.) It would be quite peculiar for there to be a way of constructing clauses, well known to everyone, that was generally not appropriate for use. If everyone who understood how to use the language well could see that the passive was not fit to be used, its survival down the centuries would be almost inexplicable.

In truth, the passive is very often exactly the right way to frame a clause in a particular context, and all competent authors use passives frequently. The people who recommend against it use it themselves, even while talking about how you should not use it. For example, in the act of explaining that you should "Use the active voice" because it is "more direct and vigorous than the passive", William Strunk and E. B. White assert that "Many a tame sentence . . . can be made lively and emphatic by substituting a transitive in the active voice" (see section 14 of their book The Elements of Style). Their sentence defies their warning; it contains an instance of the passive voice itself (can be made lively and emphatic). They then proceed to give four examples together with illustrations of how to improve them "by substituting a transitive in the active voice", but only one illustrates the passive (it is not quite clear whether they thought all four were passives), and for one of them, At dawn the crowing of a rooster could be heard, they propose the replacement The cock's crow came with dawn, which (since came is intransitive) does not have a transitive in the active voice!

For an excellent example of the sort of misdirected grammar advice given in writing courses as a result of confusion about what the passive voice is, take a look at this page (kindly provided by Craig Russell) from a student paper as corrected in red by a teaching assistant at a top private university on the East Coast of the USA:

READ ON AT [and then go and sin no more ]


http://www.lel.ed.ac.uk/grammar/passives.html