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Please critique the following writing

 
 
Rod194
 
Reply Tue 21 Jun, 2016 08:22 am
This is a short introduction for an essay about ASEAN. I was wondering if the sentences flow smoothly and read well. I hope you could give specific criticisms regarding the essay. Thanks!

“The different cultural and political identities of Southeast Asian countries result in their disunity. Understandably, these countries, being former colonies, are reluctant to enter into binding agreements with each other, much less create strong supranational institutions, since doing so might adversely affect their hard-won sovereignty. Non-interference is, therefore, a staple policy in the way they conduct their relations with each other, believing that such is necessary to respect their vast differences. This policy breeds weak monitoring and enforcement mechanisms as well as indifference within the community. Just consider the continuing human rights violations in Myanmar or the on-going territorial disputes in the region which the ASEAN consistently fails to address. What makes these countries even more distant from each other is the presence of different international organizations in Asia-Pacific which encourages them to forum shop rather than to strengthen their commitments to ASEAN."
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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 1,493 • Replies: 5
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Finn dAbuzz
 
  1  
Reply Wed 22 Jun, 2016 03:55 pm
@Rod194,
Rod194

Your sentences flow smoothly and read well. You write well.

I do have some substantive criticism to provide, but I would like to give it the consideration it deserves. Bear with me for a few days.
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LilyWilson
 
  0  
Reply Tue 5 Jul, 2016 09:08 am
@Rod194,
I can't see anything to criticize, this text is really well-written.
bigpaperwrite
 
  0  
Reply Thu 7 Jul, 2016 02:44 am
@LilyWilson,
I should also say that the article is written well. I like your style of writing. I myself do not write much and I do not like what comes out of my writing, which is why I value what others write especially if they do it well.
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nacredambition
 
  1  
Reply Thu 7 Jul, 2016 05:26 am
@Rod194,
Quote:
Please critique the following writing


It's way glib, and excellent if you know that your audience is like minded.

Different cultural and political identities may contribute to but surely don't result in disunity, surely you mean "contribute to disparate views on mutual interdependence" or some such.

Your entire dissertation disses and conveys a distinct negativity that does not reflect the aspirations of those committed to ASEAN.

You slag off at the organ in every sentence.

F minus for geopolitics, A plus for supremacist dogma.
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bobbystar
 
  0  
Reply Fri 8 Jul, 2016 09:54 am
@Rod194,
excellent writing thx!
0 Replies
 
 

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