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Military guy married with kid. Served CS papers from a girl from 3 years ago.

 
 
Reply Wed 1 Oct, 2014 10:49 pm
I'm in the military. Was stationed in cali 3 years ago. While I was there I met a local girl. She told me she was on BC, I was being dumb and drinking at the time. We didn't even date, just hooked up a few times. I remember we hung out for a couple days and I mentioned I hadn't noticed her take any BC pills. She turned around and exploded on me and acted very awkward after. I remember realizing then she was lying about the BC. We went our separate ways. I didn't hear from her again. In that time I got back with my ex from my home town. We had a long distance relationship for several months and I flew her out to see me. I went back home and asked her folks for permission to ask her to marry me. Everything went good and we got engaged and are now married in a new home with a hefty mortgage and a new car payment as well with a son of our own. The other day before leaving for work I open up a letter that said child support services on it. It's from this girl back in cali. I am stationed on the other side of the US now. She waited a couple years to do this I'm assuming so that the court will now view her as bonded to the child and be far less likely to award me custody. First thing I'm going to do obviously is ask for a paternity test. However, I need to consult with a California lawyer being as he/she will be familiar with California laws. It will be difficult coordinating everything from the other side of the US and I don't have a ton of money for plane tickets for when I have to show up for court etc. Because I'm so far away one of us is probably going to end up with full custody. There can't really be a 50/50 here. In California law as far as I've read it doesn't factor in any expenses of the person paying child support. Meaning even though I had no idea this was coming my mortgage/car payment will not be a factor. So does this mean me and my wife and son will have to file bankruptcy and possibly lose my home and or car I need to go to work in because I will not be able to afford it if I'm giving her half of my paycheck because the mother works a min. wage job? My wife is a stay at home mom with a BA in early childhood development. I believe I will have a strong case for custody but how likely can I really be as a Father to get custody of my (possibly) kid after she has been with the mother for 2+ years and I've never even seen her? Am I REALLY just out of luck and me and my entire family are going to have our lives turned upside down by this girl if it does turn out to be my kid? I'm sure I can provide a better environment for my daughter than she can but will the court rule in her favor just because of having spent 2 years and bonding to the mother? Anyone with advice or any similar exp chiming in would be greatly appreciated.
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Type: Question • Score: 11 • Views: 2,395 • Replies: 11

 
Ragman
 
  3  
Reply Thu 2 Oct, 2014 04:40 am
@PUTNAMEHERE,
Quote:
First thing I'm going to do obviously is ask for a paternity test.


It all starts with this step.
bobsal u1553115
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Oct, 2014 06:47 am
@Ragman,
And talk to a lawyer at the same time.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Oct, 2014 07:24 am
@PUTNAMEHERE,
Is it the woman who has contacted you or the California government child support services?

In any case, contact a California lawyer asap.

Not sure why you're even thinking about custody at this stage of things. Find out what you are required to do as a result of the initial correspondence and then move forward.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Thu 2 Oct, 2014 10:05 am
@PUTNAMEHERE,
Start with paternity test and Cal. attorney. You may be able to (if necessary) provide a deposition via videotape. But don't put the cart before the horse. Get yourself a Cal. attorney and have him/her make a motion to require a paternity test as Job One.

If it's negative, then you don't need to plan anything else. If it's positive, then start to worry about the remainder of it.
0 Replies
 
InfraBlue
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Oct, 2014 12:50 pm
PUTNAMEHERE is entertaining the probability that the test results positive.

Let's assume he is the father and he's willing to take custody of his child.

What then?
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Thu 2 Oct, 2014 02:27 pm
I don't know how he got the "half his income" figure for child support.

Did this woman put his name on the birth certificate?

Let the CA lawyer handle everything. You probably won't even have to show up for court.
Woodworker766
 
  2  
Reply Thu 2 Oct, 2014 05:40 pm
@PUTNAMEHERE,
"In California law as far as I've read it doesn't factor in any expenses of the person paying child support."

I'm not sure where you got this from. The CA Child Support guidelines say pretty clearly "Child Support Guidelines are based on each parent's net disposable monthly income and the amount of time the child is cared for by each parent."

What you pay to support yourself, your spouse and your child are all factored into the calculations for child support.

http://www.childsup.ca.gov/Resources/CalculateChildSupport.aspx

Now go find a lawyer in CA.

0 Replies
 
roger
 
  2  
Reply Thu 2 Oct, 2014 05:50 pm
@PUNKEY,
Fifty percent is the *max allowable garnishment allowed for child support, regardless of the number of children. That's based on income after mandatory deductions for income taxes, SS/Medicare, and union dues if applicable. If the award is less than that amount, that amount is the amount garnisheed, of course.

*California and at least one other state go to 60%, but only if the payments are seriously in arrears.
0 Replies
 
Lovebe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Feb, 2017 03:45 pm
@PUTNAMEHERE,
I have a question for you. I'm dating my boyfriend of 1 year and 3 months and he's in Hawaii and we are long distance since the beginning. I'm afraid he might be cheating and everytime I try to break it off he doesn't want to because he loves me soooo much. He gave me a promise ring and wants me to move out there for my internship. He acts weird sometimes, atleast to me he does but I created 2 fake profiles to see if he would respond. But he never did and he told me some girl messaged him on 2 social medias and he even told me the names is he loyal or does he know it's me and that's why he doesn't answer
Krumple
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Feb, 2017 03:55 pm
@Lovebe,
Lovebe wrote:

I have a question for you. I'm dating my boyfriend of 1 year and 3 months and he's in Hawaii and we are long distance since the beginning. I'm afraid he might be cheating and everytime I try to break it off he doesn't want to because he loves me soooo much. He gave me a promise ring and wants me to move out there for my internship. He acts weird sometimes, atleast to me he does but I created 2 fake profiles to see if he would respond. But he never did and he told me some girl messaged him on 2 social medias and he even told me the names is he loyal or does he know it's me and that's why he doesn't answer


Or hes being faithful by not answering. Why did you post this here anyways? Make a new thread for your case
Lovebe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 7 Feb, 2017 04:09 pm
@Krumple,
I just wanted to ask from a guys perceptive. That's all
0 Replies
 
 

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