@nosilla,
Oh, we see longer opening posts all the time. No worries there.
I wonder if you're telling yourself two things, neither of which might be true. Namely,
- You can only have a long-term love and marriage in a heterosexual context
- You can only be sexually satisfied by same sex activities
What if
neither of those turns out to be true for you?
I realize I draw the therapy card around here an awful lot, but have you considered talking to a qualified therapist about how you're feeling? I get the feeling, deep down, you're scared of commitment. Hence these two statements 'cover' you. If one doesn't work, you can go to the other. And, in both instances, you can avoid long-term commitments.
You don't necessarily need long-term commitments in order to be happy in life, BTW. But you might still want to explore this with a professional. Because always acting under the auspices of fear, and leading your life in avoidance, is not fun at all.
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