my dad is hurting my feelings

Im 18 and im mixed my parents are divorced and i live in my fathers country with my mom my dad remarried and lives nearby im going to college and but i feel like my dad doesn't care he does everything late and he does it like his forced to it like im the neighbours daughter or somthing what makes me mad is i never ask my dad anything not even money and years before when he jiat got married he left us with my grandparents claiming their old and me and sis have to take care of them and he went to live with his wife infact he never told us he was getting married we found out our selves since then i lost love for him but because of my religion i have to respect my father even though i hated him then this year when me and my sis moved with mom he started acting like he cares and telling us we are his first priority and some days he would just ignore us
And everytime me or my sis or my bro would have a problem my mom and dad starts fighting and making it about them and reminding eachother their mistakes
My mom helped my father alot when we were in her country she even choosed him over her family my dad does the total oposite and this hurts me alot
i want to know how to tell my father that his hurting me in a respectfull way please help me