Should I Call CPS or Cops

Forums: Relationships, Family, Parenting, Child Rearing, Cps
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Here is the deal. I am not one to make snitchy phone calls or rash decissions but I need outside perspective.
My husband and I are having situations with our daughter. She is 4 yrs old. We share her with her mother 50/50. Without going into all the drama which I can tell you there is alot. Us being Christian people have always taken the high road and try to get along as much as possible. No fighting or talking bad about her to the little girl.
So as the past few months when i go to drop her off my little one seems very upset and starts acting out. She starts crying and is not very happy to see her mother. We kind of know the living situation but its kept from us. They live in an RV and it is very dinky, her mother and step father are drunks. There is one other kid living in this place as well. Something is going on with my little girl and she has been angry (not like her at all). Anyway she has been telling us (when I ask her to talk about those feelings she has )that her step dad has been fight with her mom alot (there is a history of abuse and hitting in these fights ) and she says they drink alot. This man is also guilty of beating and raping a woman but only served 1-2 yrs in jail. I am concerned for my childs safety. I know there are guns in the house and the mom is a felon. There is so much to this it would take me to long to go through it all. The question is shoukd I call the cops to let them handle the felon with a firearm or should I call CPS in hopes they can get our baby out of the hands of these angry drunks. If either one what do I need? And if CPS is called will they get the mother for being a felon with a gun? And if this happens will the girl come to us or will we alsi be investigated first? I have alot of question but I know that I have more than enough reason to call but which one and how? Please don't judge me I am a concerned parent who really wants to get my child out of harms way because I can see that something mentally is going on with her.

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Type: Question • Score: 4 • Views: 2,126 • Replies: 8

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I think I'd call a lawyer first.

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@MRS-H ,

Contact your lawyer and have the custody agreement opened back up (there is a custody agreement, right?), and tell them what you told us.

If there is no such agreement, sue for one. It seems to me that you are looking for full custody. That would neatly take care of the perceived issues.

As to who to call in the meantime, I'd go with CPS. But understand that some of what you are saying here might not be provable, or even relevant. The amount of time this guy served in jail is not relevant. What you "kind of" know about the living situation isn't enough. It's not proof; it's speculation.

Concentrate on what you can prove, e. g. that the little girl seems unhappy to return to the mother's home, and that the mother is a felon (that's a matter of public record and, since it is, I wonder why the mother has even shared custody. That would be a big thing in deciding custody, which makes me think this is an informal arrangement).

Make it a formal arrangement and sue for full custody (and visitation for the mother, at a time and place of your choosing).

This means a lawyer. It may mean having the child testify, BTW. But that's the path.

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@MRS-H ,

If I understand correctly, you are the step-mother of this girl. My first advice is to let the biological father (your husband) take the lead on this.

My second advice is to talk to a lawyer right away. Once your husband starts down this path, it will turn into a custody fight. Of course, you should call the police if there is an immediate danger... but for the long term this is a legal struggle.

If it were my daughter, I would talk to a lawyer right away. My second option would be CPS.

If there is any way for your husband to cooperate with her mother for the her best interest, another option would be to bring the girl to a therapist. This would provide a neutral person who can evaluate the situation and do what is best for this girl.

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@MRS-H ,

Yes I am the step parent but I have been here since the begining. Yes we have a custody agreement but pur lawyer wants us to wait until she is 5 to do anything else. And my husband and I both have these questions and we both are at our end with this. Each time we have went to court she has moved a couple days prior to court saying she has changed and is in a better house. But as soon as we get done with court she is back in the RV drinking it up and fighting in front of the children. Now we have both tried to talk with this woman and she just lies until she tginks she is off the hook. This speculation comes from knowing the living situation before court and from what the mother tells me on her own free will. The little girl tells me things that aren't all that pleasant. Now i would love to have full custody but i would never want to keep her from her mom even though im not all that into what her mom is about. The lawyer is saying that in court a childs word is really not much. I have seen yhe place they live because they have lived in it before this court thing has started . And without source of money another 3,000 is not all that easy to come by just to have to wait another year and watch the innocents of this girl waste away. There are no interrior doors separating the rooms (any of them). And still the judge didn't want to be hasty in awarding us custody because she was changing when in fact it was all a scam and as soon as the heat was off of her she moved back into a dinky camper and moved out of the town she was once in.

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@MRS-H ,

If it were me, I'd either insist your lawyer act now or find a different lawyer - one that will act more quickly. The sacrificing of how much more legal fees are needed is something that should have the highest priority.

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@Ragman,

Ragman wrote:

If it were me, I'd either insist your lawyer act now or find a different lawyer - one that will act more quickly. The sacrificing of how much more legal fees are needed is something that should have the highest priority.

I strongly disagree. Anyone can go lawyer shopping and find a lawyer to say anything they want. But, if you are going fire any lawyer who says what you don't want to hear, then why have a lawyer?

The lawyer knows the situation. The lawyer knows the legal facts. There is no benefit for the lawyer to tell you to wait, other than that this is really the best thing to do (lawyers don't get paid to wait).

I find it a bit troubling that the step-mother says "I would like to have full custody" and barely mentions the biological father of this child. If she had said "We would like to have custody" it would have been a bit less shocking.

I think you should listen to the lawyer for legal advice. It wouldn't be bad to get a second opinion, but lawyer shopping is a fools game.

I also repeat my advice that this child should be in counseling. I am wondering if family counseling (for your husband and you) might also be a good idea.

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Definitely counseling. And I'm with the lawyer - although children under the age of 4 have testified, it's rare and they have some pretty steep hurdles in terms of believability/admissibility. Plus it's kinda traumatic for them.

If your own lawyer believes that this cannot be proven, at this time, without the girl's testimony, then sit tight. Make the best home possible for her, at your home. Push for custody because that doesn't necessarily require trashing the bio mom. Save the rest of it for later.

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@MRS-H ,

since you are a christian and she is probabbly getting mind fucked by you i will drop off a santanic bible praise satan

ps i didnt read it

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Should I Call CPS or Cops

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