As someone who speaks for the animal and the human of females, I can tell you that you have to learn a balance between being respectful, but roughly playful at the same time.
Can you do that without forcing it? You have to remember, at some point sex is an option, and sex is not something that involves being polite - you hammer into her womanhood and you both enjoy that satiation of thrill together, but when you're not doing that and role-playing human again, that's when you can be this guy you are now - just let her know you can have a wild side, and you'll always be interesting from that point on as long as you balance the two naturally, not forcefully.
You can't expect to have a mental connection with someone, and fail the physical connection altogether. It never works. When you go for someone, you go for their their body and their personality. When you are with them, you bond with them on more than one level - you can't just always be polite and think you'll get anywhere when your entire life is based on your mother's uterus going into rehab from all the tension and the pain. Women like drama, because women are nature - nature loves drama. Get on that stage and understand the difference between your willy and how to be witty.