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Sun 23 May, 2004 10:22 am
I have quite a complicated situation on my hands. I was involved in a pretty troubled relationship for the past 2.5 years, and just when it got to the point where I felt hopeless in that relationship and didn't know what to do I met someone out of the blue at school. I am 39 years old, female and have children. I am divorced and work full time and attend school in the evenings. One night this past November I began a new class. On the way to that class I had been on my cell arguing once again with the 'troubled relationship'. Anyhow, I arrived at class and when I walked into the hallway there stood this younger guy. Our eyes met and of course I could easily see that he was much younger than me. For the first month or so we would just say hello, and that was about it. We'd spend the four hours of each class sitting next to one another and we would catch each other glancing, but there was never much conversation. One night at class the professor asked for our phone numbers, email addresses, etc. He took note of mine and I took note of his. Before I knew it we were online conversing about school, and general subjects. We finally exchanged ages, and eventually admitted to a mutual attraction. We tried to analyze the situation and dismiss it as a crush, but we just kept on talking and soon began talking on the telephone almost daily for hours. He did ask me out for a few drinks and hesitantly I agreed to meet him. That first night we talked about how much we had in common and our similar views on life. I talked about the fact that obviously we are in different places in our lives, but that didn't seem to deter him or I. Four months has past and we have been seeing each other 4 or more times per week. I absolutely adore him and neither of us seems to be affected by the age difference. He has met my friends and i have met his. Both sets are supportive and feel that if we are happy, that's all that matters. I am unsure what to expect from the future here and what the general opinion if on this sort of situation. I never experienced anything like this before, and although in the past I would view something as this as bizarre, I am completely in love with this guy. What to do?
marylza, the first thought that came to my mind was 'Enjoy'. The age difference is not a problem for you, right? At least for now... It might turn out to be one later on. But now you two are in love. Maybe I am seeing this too simple, but I would enjoy the moment.
marylza--
Enjoy--you've earned a little frivolity. All the same remember that when you met this guy you'd been hurt in a previous relationship. When the Rebound Effect wears off, you may have to take another look at your situation.
Meanwhile, enjoy.
Have fun. Not every relationship has to be SERIOUS.
As long as the previous troubled relationship is over and done with - have a great time.
And watch your heart, and his.
This is a little tricky. Let me just leap in here and say it is not apt to work out in the long run. Knowing that, there is a certain piquance to the romance that can be a delight. Try, try, to not get into Sturm et Drang, or whatever the phrase is.
Sturm und Drang
I'd say enjoy and have a great time.