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College Anxiety

 
 
Reply Mon 18 Aug, 2014 09:38 am
I have a big fear of going to college now. My first year many people avoided me because they made an assumption of who I am just by looking at me. I would step in a room and I would hear people talking about me, laughing at me, and staring at me. I ended up transferring to University of Charleston. Do people honestly think I am that ugly? I need advice..
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Type: Question • Score: 4 • Views: 1,492 • Replies: 5
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Germlat
 
  2  
Reply Mon 18 Aug, 2014 10:35 am
@Danae102,
I wouldn't give a rats azz if some dorky college people didn't find me attractive...and sorry I think it's odd you changed University. It tells me more about you than them. Unless you're the Elephant Man then...you have serious self-esteem issues. Work on that...at the end of the day a personality is far more fulfilling( meaning why most people would keep you around)...
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PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Mon 18 Aug, 2014 03:02 pm
I once knew a guy who felt like you. Everyone stared at him when he came into a room. He thought it was because he was Black and he took offense to that and got all radical and stuff. This was in the 60's.

Truth was, he was extremely handsome and didn't even realize that.

You don't say what the "assumption" is but you might ask someone why people stare at you. It may be because of something else - OR you are not realizing something OR this could all be in your mind and people are not even looking at you at all.
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maxdancona
 
  2  
Reply Mon 18 Aug, 2014 03:09 pm
@Danae102,
Based on my own college experience, I find it difficult to believe everyone is talking about you.

If you suffer from self-esteem issues, sometimes you can create a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you are exceptionally shy and nervous, people will tend to respond by ignoring you which will make your self-esteem even worse.

I would suggest counseling. A therapist would be able to give you a realistic picture of what is going on. A therapist could help you deal with your fears, develop healthy friendships and be successful in college.

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Romeo Fabulini
 
  1  
Reply Mon 18 Aug, 2014 03:22 pm
When I started at a new school and walked in the classroom for the first time, one kid whispered to his mates- "Look at his face!" and they started giggling and I turned bright red with embarrassment.
But as I got to know them over the following weeks, I got on great with them and knew they didn't mean it, they said the same thing to every new kid just as a joke..Smile
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donna downing
 
  1  
Reply Wed 11 Nov, 2015 01:21 am
@Danae102,
Hey Danae102

I'm so sorry that you feel that way. If you don't mind me asking, how did you know or made sure that people are talking about you? Now if they actually are, why would you let yourselves be affected by those people. Whatever they think is just their opinion and it doesn't mean its true so it shouldn't affect you in anyway. I know it's difficult to ignore others but they are judging you without even knowing you, I think that's worse than being ugly.

I have a friend who use to think like you before, what changed him was confrontation. Once he confronted the people who were talking behind his back, his life changes. People saw who he really is and they knew that judging him was wrong. No violence must made he just simply and calmly ask them if something is wrong and the people were taken aback by his determination. Now,all those are his friends.

The thing to learn about the experience of my friend is to have confidence and learn to stand up for yourself. No matter who you are, or how you look like, We are all equals and should be treated fairly.
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