Should I be worried at all?

Who always says something's come up, you or him?
If it's him who keeps saying it, ditch him because it means he's putting stupid things before you and making you play second fiddle.
When I'm dating, I always make my ladyfriend my ABSOLUTE TOP PRIORITY, and I let nothing stop us meeting..

If you can make a reunion happen do so....4 months is very long without seeing each other. Long distance relationships...it's not that vast of a distance really. If he can't make it happen, you'll know what it means. If the relationship is a priority to either one...you'll find the time. If not, you may be a phone a friend type.

How often do you normally see each other, and how many times has he had to cancel?

The arrangement is dat we spend two weekends minimum with each other every month but where possible I take it sometimes take leave so atleast we spend more time together. First 2 months it was him who was busy with work and 2 weekends they had a funeral. The other we had to go together to one of his projects as he felt that was the only way to prove he is engaged. It's not like he doesn't want to be with me purpose. Last month I had to be with my mum as she was injured. Further, he got a circumcision surgery and I have to wait for 6 weeks so he heals. Which means will only see him monthend around 26th. I tried to tell him that we can still be together without necessarily getting crazy under the sheets. But he said I'll disturb the healing..u guys know (erections makes u go crazy )

It's ah, very unusual for an adult male to go through a circumcision...

Is he getting more desperate to see you? Are you setting dates for when you will next meet?

Well he just got circumcised at the age of 34, and it seems most guys are getting the surgery at an older age here. Yeah, around 26th, he is healing and he does send pics showing recovery.

Maybe am just having my own insecurities as gals can't be trusted out there. Am jus having an inner feeling that maybe there could be someone else in my territory (4 months )is a long way.

I've heard some excuses by guys who want to break with their girlfriends, but that takes the biscuit!
You're wasting your time with him so ditch him and find yourself a proper man

Really?

Where is "here"?

I'm not posting about your romance situation, as couples sometimes have to be apart for legit reasons.

I just wonder where on this planet men are chosing to get circumcised at such a late age.....and for what reason?

and girls can't be trusted "there"? There as opposed to here? Where is "there"?

@ romeo! Breakup??
@Chai...here refers to my country botswana and there refers to "where he stays".

I jus needed u guys to help me figure out what could be going wrong.

Ah, in Botswana I can understand men getting circumcised at a late age (shared a house with a lady from Botswana many, many years ago).

However...if he was going to stay with you, why would it at all be necessary? Surely it's something he would only need consider if the two of you split up?

I use a simple rule for when someone's messages get confusing - see what their overall behaviour says (the old 'actions speak louder than words').

Not really...many males of European ( first generation) origin do this as adults.

Well, we need to know these things. How are we supposed to help you figure anything out, when we have questions?

We're not mind readers.

And really, this is a personal matter, no one can figure out anything but you.

I'd start with taking on the responsibility for my own thoughts and actions, rather than relying on strangers.

I use the old "ask for what you want, it increases your chances of getting it"

If confused, ask questions to clarify.

A good rule for when you're confused (so long as they are honest).

What I meant though - was when you can their verbal messages contradict their actions...believe the actions.

Thanks vikorr.

@ Chai, asking people's opinions doesn't mean one will use them as a decision but rather use them as points to consider when they make their own decisions. It's always good to hear what others think and how they'd handle the situation if they were in your shoes.

One can't give an opinion unless one knows what is going on. That means asking questions, and getting accurate information.

I can ususally figure out if they are being dishonest by asking questions, and weighing the replies. You're correct of course in that actions are very important too.

Something's wrong here.

Stop helping him with his projects.

Four month without seeing each other? I wouldn't put up with it.

Yes, "ditch" means breakup, go and get yourself a better man..