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divide this long sentence into shorter ones

 
 
Reply Wed 19 May, 2004 08:55 pm
i wrote a sentence which is kinda too long:
Enrolling in a wide variety of courses in different disciplines could furnish the students with ( confer on students) a broad background of knowledge and skills as well as an open mind with diverse ways of thinking, which are essential for the students to keep competent for various situations in their future careers.
i don't konw how to express this idea in alternative way, with several shorter sentences. would you liket of help me?
thank you.
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cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Wed 19 May, 2004 09:35 pm
Enrolling in a wide variety of courses in different disciplines could furnish the students with ( confer on students) a broad background of knowledge. Skills as well as an open mind with diverse ways of thinking are essential for the students to keep competent for various situations in their future careers.
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Neoquixote
 
  1  
Reply Wed 19 May, 2004 09:45 pm
but i wanna give out such a meaning:
1) a broad backgroung of knowledge, skills and an open mind are(all) the result of the wide enrollment in......
2)and all are essential for .........
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cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Wed 19 May, 2004 10:37 pm
Neo, There's a difference between knowledge and skills. Knowledge does not necessarily translate into skill nor an open mind.
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Neoquixote
 
  1  
Reply Thu 20 May, 2004 12:38 am
Cicerone, yes, i know, so i said the courses make the students learn both knowledge and skills, and i said these courses give them an open mind. If my original expression did not convey such a meaning, i am sorry. I am not sure if the long sentence could make me understood well, so i am trying to replace it by several shorter ones.
i want to these shorter sentences include several points:
1 Enrolling in a wide variety of courses in different disciplines is important;
2 it could furnish the students with a broad background of knowledge and skills;
3 it gives the students an open mind with diverse ways of thinking;
4, both the broad background and the open mind are essential for the students in their future careers.

i wonder how to organize all these elements to make my expression more appropriate. thank you.
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Wy
 
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Reply Thu 20 May, 2004 08:07 pm
Quote:
1 Enrolling in a wide variety of courses in different disciplines is important;
2 it could furnish the students with a broad background of knowledge and skills;
3 it gives the students an open mind with diverse ways of thinking;
4, both the broad background and the open mind are essential for the students in their future careers.


How about: "Enrolling in a wide variety of courses in different disciplines is important. Students with a broad background of knowledge and skills develop an open mind, with diverse ways of thinking. These characteristics are essential for the students as they move into their chosen careers."

You did a good thing to break it into individual thoughts. Keeping it that way might make for choppy writing, but combining some sentences and leaving others fairly short can make a good, balanced statement that's easy to read and understand.
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