DSL
 
Reply Thu 17 Jul, 2014 06:37 pm
Hi. I had an affair that started almost 2 years ago. I would like to her from any1 who has married their lover.
We are so crazy abt each other!!
After 1 year we left our spouses, after 6 months living together in secret I went back to my hubby, for the kids, determined to give it 100%. Broke my heart to leave my lover. I nearly didn't cope. He went back to his wife because I asked him too.
Then 6 months later we met up and he kissed me and it was more intense than ever! I have left my husband again and see a future with my lover, that I hope will last the rest of our lives. As a result I have Emotions I didn't know I was capable of having, I feel so alive, so loved So happy, I just start dancing in the daylight.
Falling in love was beyond my control
Nothing I could do but submit to the
Overpowering & helpless, I have
No regrets
It is Pretty much the 1 self-centered act of my marriage
My marriage was over pretty much before it started but I stuck it out 27 years, giving into him just trying to keep him happy while I was miserable. I never felt complete, we never had the completeness of a couple
No true intimacy
Or satisfaction
Always lacking from the start.
For the chance to be with my lover I would give up everything
Please post comments about how family handled situation and comments from adult children.
I really believe we can be a fantastic couple and spend the rest of our lives in love with each other.
  • Topic Stats
  • Top Replies
  • Link to this Topic
Type: Question • Score: 4 • Views: 1,273 • Replies: 6
No top replies

 
CoastalRat
 
  1  
Reply Fri 18 Jul, 2014 06:39 am
@DSL,
Quote:
I really believe we can be a fantastic couple and spend the rest of our lives in love with each other.
Until one of you meet someone even more exciting and decide to cheat again. Why or how anyone can trust another who would cheat on their spouse is beyond me. I've said before and I will say it again. If he is willing to cheat with you, he will cheat on you. (And, if you are willing to cheat with him, you will indeed be willing to cheat on him.)
DSL
 
  1  
Reply Fri 18 Jul, 2014 06:51 am
@CoastalRat,
Thanks but you have no idea of what my marriage wes like or how abusive or controlling my husband was.
I did not go looking for love and I fought it off for a good six months, when I finally gave into it. I have no regrets and have never known such an emotional, spiritual and physical connection that is so complete.
CoastalRat
 
  1  
Reply Fri 18 Jul, 2014 08:19 am
@DSL,
Of course I don't know how bad it was. I was not involved. lol But, if it was as bad as you claim, you should have simply left your husband. Instead, you stayed in the marriage (so how bad could it really have been) and then began an affair at some point with a married man, who I am sure was also in a terrible marriage and treated very horribly by his wife, but like you, not so horribly that he got out.

Neither of you have any regard for your marriage vows, so it will only be a matter of time before one or the other is cheating again. Of course, all this is simply my opinion and thoughts. You can take them for what they are worth. Won't hurt my feelings any. lol

Do have a good day.

EDIT: I do give you credit for leaving your husband the second time when things started back up again instead of simply re-starting the affair. If this is what you want, then great. We all deserve to be loved. It is just the whole cheating aspect that I disagree with. And I do still think that when you get together with a cheater, I don't see how you could ever trust him. If someone is willing to cheat once and disregard their marriage vows, they will be willing to do so again. I do wish you luck.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Fri 18 Jul, 2014 08:23 am
@DSL,
Have you lived independently since you became an adult?
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Fri 18 Jul, 2014 02:33 pm
Well, it seems that you two are going to be together, and that's it. You didn't ask for opinions on that, but you are getting them anyway.

I read your post as a concern about the reaction from your adult children.

You are going to have to hope they are old enough to see that you stayed with their father for their sake (Although that always backfires for the emotional well-being of the children to be in a house of non-loving adults) You need to share with them that you have not been happy for a very long time in the marriage. You don't need to tell details, but you need to let them know that you want to live a happy life.

Time is the great revealer. If you two have a quality relationship, it will show in you and him and the children will see that. You will just have to show them that this union is right and good - even though it was quite messy getting there. Be patient and understand that people have been hurt.
0 Replies
 
luismtzzz
 
  1  
Reply Fri 18 Jul, 2014 03:06 pm
@DSL,
Coastalrat has a point. No one deserves been cheated. No one no matter how horrible or despiteful that person was. He signed a personal commitmet to you and tried to do his part the best way he could. The correct thing to do is first brake the previous commitment and then restart your life as you wish.

You did it the other way, you found someone, then you fell in love, and when you felt solid ground to jump out of your marriage you took the opportunity.

I came form a familly destroyed by an affair. I was in my teens. The sense of treachery and betrayal is also felt by the children. Most parents think that kids and teens are stupid. But they are not. They notice the problems on the core of a family. The will do the math and know that you had a relationship while being married. They will not be blind to your acts.

Whatsover, congratulations for finding love. But you acted badly.
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

 
  1. Forums
  2. » True love
Copyright © 2019 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.06 seconds on 04/23/2019 at 03:18:28