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I'm married, but falling for my best friend.

 
 
Reply Tue 15 Jul, 2014 02:42 pm
I have been married for 5 years now. We have a child and we are rather happy together. Recently I have been having very strong feelings for my best friend of the opposite sex. I've found myself fantasizing about her in many different ways. Some fantasies are as innocent as cuddling and kissing her, whereas others are not as innocent, like having crazy marathon sex and just being like horny teenagers. I still love my wife and family. I don't think I could ever leave them, nor is cheating an option. But sometimes seeing this person turns me on so much that I find it hard to not want to. What should I do?
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Type: Question • Score: 1 • Views: 1,826 • Replies: 2
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luismtzzz
 
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Reply Tue 15 Jul, 2014 02:51 pm
@discretlysinful,
It is natural that you feel attracted to other females beside you wife. We are animals, although advanced ones. Our genetic codes urge us to preserve our genes.

I will not lie. I had felt an attraction to a few women over the years while i had been married this last 6 years. Technically as humans its impossible no to do so. But what make us different to other animals is the capacity to decide if we act or react upon that feeling. The opposite has occured too, i´d been in situations where a woman clearly flirts with me even though they knew i was married. I had clearly put a distance on those women using courtesy and coldness. I belive it is completelly an act of CHOICE.

There will allways be easy men and easy women. There will always be opportunities.

I recommend you to redirect that feelings to something positive. Like developing those fantazies with your wife, or some kind of manual labor, or studying.

Also you should put some distance with your friend.
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Frank Apisa
 
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Reply Tue 15 Jul, 2014 03:19 pm
@discretlysinful,
discretlysinful wrote:

I have been married for 5 years now. We have a child and we are rather happy together. Recently I have been having very strong feelings for my best friend of the opposite sex. I've found myself fantasizing about her in many different ways. Some fantasies are as innocent as cuddling and kissing her, whereas others are not as innocent, like having crazy marathon sex and just being like horny teenagers. I still love my wife and family. I don't think I could ever leave them, nor is cheating an option. But sometimes seeing this person turns me on so much that I find it hard to not want to. What should I do?


May I respectfully suggest that the feelings you consider "innocent" are much more potentially damaging to your marriage...than the ones you deem "not as innocent."

There is a great deal more emotional investment in wanting to cuddle with and kiss a woman other than your wife...than the more primitive, animalistic feelings of "I'd like to bang her."

You may be in much more trouble than you think...and the "my best friend" stuff reinforces my feelings about this. Your wife should be your best friend...not some chick outside the marriage.

My advice: Start thinking about what is actually happening...rather than some sanitized version of it. If you want to preserve your marriage...maybe it can still be done.
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