Once again I NEED HELP FAST PLEASE!!!!(LONG, sorry)

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Hello again.......i'm in need of advise and/or answers please.
This is going to be kinda long, sorry I just don't know what to do now! I met my BF in june of 2003 on an internet dating site. actually we just wanted to be friends but, the more time we spent together things developed and we finally decided we both wanted a committed relationship. Things have been going great at the beginning of December the words came out " I love you" he lives far ( 2 hour drive )so time between us was limited for a while, but we managed and now hes driving here everyday(we don't live together but hes here 24/7 (besides work)) anyway, the other day my daughter wanted to know the name of a site she visited on the computer so i told her to go into the old temporary files and look for it.I was standing over her shoulder watching her and then she clicked on a file to my shock it was a site my BF had been on! OMG it was a dating site Sad

YES, the curiosity got to me and i looked at it! i checked out his profile... it said "Member since janurary 2004! Sad

i'm so crushed) I never ever doubted his love or faithfulness for me until now. i just don't get it! well, after seeing that, i decided to check things out further theres a file for "Read mail" WTF?? OMG theres an email from some woman dated "april 26" saying" So, did you want to stop over today for your blow job? today or maybe this weekend.?" OMFG! ok, looking i'm dying here. so, i go looking further into the temp. files.. heres one for a "Reply" SHYT! i cant see what the reply said for some reason. This is really killing me!! Sad

WHY??? Why would he say i love you ,put so much time and effort into our relationship, then go to a dating site? we talked a few times about what we thought about people who cheat, how each other would feel if someone cheated on one or the other of us ect ect...( he said one night " he couldnt believe his friend has been cheating on his wife, and was going to stop hanging out with him because he dosnt want to be around people like that")..like i said before, hes here ALL the time I just don't see where he would be able to find any time to see anyone else ( even on his lunch breaks were on the phone together just about everyday) i know its possible though if someone really wanted to see someone else, i'm not nieve! but he just seems so sincere. HE is the one always talking about "our" future together. so, now im stuck here hurting to the point of tears and not sure what to do... should i say something? i don't want him to think i was checking up on him, thats not what happened! should i just let it go and see if theres anything further that i find?"( i know im going to start checking now, the trust i feel has been broken) perhaps the reply he wrote was a "No Thank You"? He knows somethings bothering me... ( i get very quiet kinda stare into space thinking about things) he keeps asking whats bothering me. and im not quiet sure what i should say to him.. If and when i do say something, i'm gonna "Flip" i know how i am! help? I'm not sure what to do? say? sorry this was so long, alot of you guys gave great advise ona problem i had before........ Thanks for any help in advance

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I don't think you need to wait or look further. First I would directly ask him if he is cheating on you. There is no reason why you should not tell him what you found. I would. Why do you care whether he thinks you were checking on him or not? You were not and he was still found out. It appears he lied to you. You are not naïve. If you had no reason not to believe he was cheating on you, why would you suspect it? My advice, would be to dump him and remember not all men are cheats. And don't worry about flipping out at him. He deserves it. Go ahead give it to him.

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I can understand that you are sad and frustrated and maybe even desperate, but with all due respect I really don't understand in what you need help? And what is your question?
Yes, you were long, but that's okay. However, from what you wrote (if everything is true, and you are absolutely sure that it's true) you could easily write your question much shorter:

Hello people, what do you think, should I stay with a jerk that is cheating me behind my back and everything he said was lie?

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hmmm....yes i just read your post and i did read the replies...so here goes with the advice thing....i think both of the above are correct in their own ways...you need to look into yourself and see how you think of the situation....obviously the choice is to confront him...and obvious enough that he is doing something behind your back...the real problem that i see is that your feelings have been hurt...but in all honesty...your time has not really been wasted....this is a REAL learning experience in how long you can learn to trust someone and expose them to your household...i hope that all goes well....im always here to help!!! Very Happy

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Drop the f*cker.

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Confront him. You have nothing to lose. If there is some off-the-wall explanation for what happened which doesn't involve him cheating, you have to ask yourself whether it's plausible. But I doubt he'll be able to come up with something. Sorry.

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While enjoying your hospitality, he used your computer to organize opportunities for cheating on you.

Obviously the man is an amoral opportunist--or has a rich fantasy life as an amoral opportunist.

By all means, ask him about your findings. If he snivels, "I thought you trusted me," reply, "I thought you were trustworthy."

Fortunately he lives two hours away--you'll be able to make a clean break.

You are entitled to be hurt and bewildered and dubious about your common sense. Mourn for the false man and your lost innocence and then prepare to start over.

Sometimes, life isn't fair and men aretwo-faced, worrysome things who lead you to sing the blues.

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God N.B. - I'm sooo sorry your going through this...what a bummer! Crying or Very sad

If I was there with my crew (all my girlfriends) he would be in trouble! Evil or Very Mad

We would probably play with his mind, like signing up on that Internet website as an impostor and then schedule to meet, then girl, you can DUMP his a**! This of course is juvenile, in bad taste, a tiny bit psychotic, way to dramatic and a touch evil ( Twisted Evil

) .... but a BLOW JOB?? Shocked

He deserves it! He's not the only one entitled to a good fantasy, hee hee. Twisted Evil

Girl, you deserve better. Get around people, listen to music, and do things that make you feel strong. Confront him if you want to, you deserve an explanation. The problem is I think you already know the truth. He is a lying' dawg. Kick his butt to the curb.

(N.B. don't do that Internet thing, I was just being evil. There's already one person who has been deceived, I'd hate to see anyone else mislead. Evil or Very Mad

)

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Bring up the subject. You're going to have to learn to be open, if your relationship is to grow. If that happened to me with my girlfriend, meaning if she brought it up, and I was in fact innocent, I wouldn't have gotten mad. I would have thought it was cute, and assured her there was nothing to worry about. On the other hand, if there is something to worry about, then all the more important to make him feel bad.

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Once again I NEED HELP FAST PLEASE!!!!(LONG, sorry)

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