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Is it wrong to realize that you don't want to have children?

 
 
Mon 16 Jun, 2014 01:14 am
For father's day we had a family get together today.

One of my nephews (he's 7) came up to me out of nowhere and just slapped my ice tea out of my hand. I didn't say anything, but I gave him a REAL angry look and he started crying. Then his parents got in an argument with me later in the day. Basically it was about "How dare you make our angel cry! He has "issues", he didn't know better."

But the thing is that he did know better. Sometimes he just acts like a little ****.

I used to REALLY want to have kids, but now the more I see how delusional parents are the more I don't. Today was the nail in the coffin. Like, I think I still want kids, but now it's mostly just so I can have that holier than thou attitude that apparently comes with having a child. ...Just knowing that I'm somehow wiser than all the childless people (idiots!) in the world and knowing for fact that I gave birth to the baby Jesus; the infallible God-child who can do no wrong.

...And that's just not a good reason to want to have kid, right?
 
View best answer, chosen by nononono
OmSigDAVID
 
  2  
Mon 16 Jun, 2014 01:46 am
@nononono,
One of the great HAPPINESSES of my life
is never having had any children. That is re-inforced
every time I read of a patricide. I know that no matter what happens,
I 'm safe from patricide.





David
nononono
 
  1  
Mon 16 Jun, 2014 02:08 am
@OmSigDAVID,
Quote:
I 'm safe from patricide.


Haha! I hadn't even thought of that! Very Happy

I honestly think it would be cool as all hell to have a kid; I just don't want to become delusional and judgmental. From first hand experience that seems to be the predetermined after effect of becoming a parent.

But your own child killing you, well that's even scarier! LOL Laughing
OmSigDAVID
 
  2  
Mon 16 Jun, 2014 06:59 am
@nononono,
nononono wrote:
But your own child killing you,
well that's even scarier! LOL Laughing
He 's just giving Nature a helping hand,
accelerating his inheritance.
George
 
  9  
Mon 16 Jun, 2014 07:04 am
It's not wrong not to want children.
What's wrong is having them anyway.

Stay childless.
Get the surgery.
nononono
 
  0  
Mon 16 Jun, 2014 07:19 am
@George,
Quote:
It's not wrong not to want children.
What's wrong is having them anyway.

Stay childless.
Get the surgery.


Hahaha! These comments are making me laugh! Thank you! Very Happy
0 Replies
 
nononono
 
  0  
Mon 16 Jun, 2014 07:21 am
@OmSigDAVID,
Quote:
He 's just giving Nature a helping hand,
accelerating his inheritance.


But i wouldn't have any money to give him/her! Hahahaha! Laughing
jespah
  Selected Answer
 
  6  
Mon 16 Jun, 2014 07:43 am
@nononono,
Why should it be wrong to not want to become a parent?
contrex
 
  2  
Mon 16 Jun, 2014 07:54 am
My wife says it makes her want to go 'blech' when female colleagues get all gooey eyed about babies, and talk rubbish about their 'biological clock'. She dearly loves her little niece, but we are both glad we don't have any children. There are plenty of breeders in the world. We don't feel we have any duty to reproduce.
nononono
 
  0  
Mon 16 Jun, 2014 08:57 am
@jespah,
Quote:
Why should it be wrong to not want to become a parent?


Thank you! Very Happy
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Mon 16 Jun, 2014 10:25 am
@nononono,
Quote:
He 's just giving Nature a helping hand,
accelerating his inheritance.
nononono wrote:
But i wouldn't have any money to give him/her! Hahahaha! Laughing
U shud GET SOME! Its FUN!





David
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Mon 16 Jun, 2014 10:34 am
@nononono,

I think children are fine,
as long as thay are not genetically related to ME.





David
0 Replies
 
Foofie
 
  2  
Mon 16 Jun, 2014 01:31 pm
Sociologically speaking, in my opinion, parenthood is just a "scene" one chooses to participate in or not. Since being a parent usually includes knowing other parents, due to a child's activities, it is just a "scene." No different from the bohemian art scene, biker scene, executive scene, etc.

However, any ancestors that wanted their DNA to proliferate through time might be upset with a childless couple? Perhaps, a childless couple should see "the ghost of parenthoods past" before they decide?
engineer
 
  5  
Mon 16 Jun, 2014 01:52 pm
@nononono,
It's fine not to want to be a parent, but is that what you've really come to realize? If you "REALLY want(ed) to have kids", how does seeing a few questionable parenting decisions change that? Not saying you are wrong in any way, but your conversion seems superficial and perhaps your original reasons for wanting children were equally poorly thought out.
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Mon 16 Jun, 2014 02:49 pm
@Foofie,
Foofie wrote:
Sociologically speaking, in my opinion, parenthood is just a "scene" one chooses to participate in or not. Since being a parent usually includes knowing other parents, due to a child's activities, it is just a "scene." No different from the bohemian art scene, biker scene, executive scene, etc.

However, any ancestors that wanted their DNA to proliferate through time might be upset with a childless couple? Perhaps, a childless couple should see "the ghost of parenthoods past" before they decide?
Thay shud. Years ago, I heard the notion that humans
are vehicles for the perpetuation of human DNA
.
0 Replies
 
nononono
 
  0  
Mon 16 Jun, 2014 04:10 pm
@engineer,
Quote:
It's fine not to want to be a parent, but is that what you've really come to realize? If you "REALLY want(ed) to have kids", how does seeing a few questionable parenting decisions change that? Not saying you are wrong in any way, but your conversion seems superficial and perhaps your original reasons for wanting children were equally poorly thought out.


It's not an overnight decision, yesterday was just the last straw.

Foofie,
Quote:
Sociologically speaking, in my opinion, parenthood is just a "scene" one chooses to participate in or not. Since being a parent usually includes knowing other parents, due to a child's activities, it is just a "scene."


That's what I don't want to happen to me. I'm afraid I'd become a fake "professional" parent. I think there's something chemically that happens to your brain when you have a kid that makes you delusional. You really believe that your child is perfect and can do no wrong. You truly believe that you're smarter than everyone else without a child. Oh, and you're also an instant martyr because no one else can relate to how difficult your life is. Rolling Eyes Because of course life is just super easy if you don't have a child simply because of that fact!
Lash
 
  2  
Mon 16 Jun, 2014 04:36 pm
@OmSigDAVID,
hahaha. You can mark that one off the list!
Lash
 
  1  
Mon 16 Jun, 2014 04:39 pm
@contrex,
The crappy thing about this is the world would improve dramatically if those who were responsible enough to think seriously about it did procreate - however, we're left with the litters of those who never gave it a thought.
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  2  
Mon 16 Jun, 2014 08:17 pm
@Lash,
Lash wrote:
hahaha. You can mark that one off the list!
Yes; thank u. (Confidentially, I also feel relatively safe
from being trampled by buffalos.)
0 Replies
 
contrex
 
  3  
Tue 17 Jun, 2014 12:01 pm
@nononono,
nononono wrote:
I think there's something chemically that happens to your brain when you have a kid that makes you delusional. You really believe that your child is perfect and can do no wrong. You truly believe that you're smarter than everyone else without a child. Oh, and you're also an instant martyr because no one else can relate to how difficult your life is. Rolling Eyes Because of course life is just super easy if you don't have a child simply because of that fact!


I think that is a bit of a generalisation. There are parents who have children and find they don't like them, and some who have a balanced view of them, and some who believe their child is a genius and can do no wrong. I think you have to accept that just as you have no duty to have children, you are also have no duty to give reasons for that to anybody, including yourself.

0 Replies
 
 

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