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Is it wrong to realize that you don't want to have children?

 
 
Buttermilk
 
  0  
Tue 17 Jun, 2014 01:01 pm
@nononono,
I work at a hospital and best believe, when YOU have a child your perspective is different as oppose to other peoples children.
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  2  
Fri 20 Jun, 2014 02:04 pm
@nononono,
Quote:
You really believe that your child is perfect and can do no wrong. You truly believe that you're smarter than everyone else without a child. Oh, and you're also an instant martyr because no one else can relate to how difficult your life is. Because of course life is just super easy if you don't have a child simply because of that fact!


I think you are generalizing quite a bit. I am a parent and I do not believe my children are perfect. Anyone with the least bit of sense knows that. I do know some parents that think that way or close to that, but to be honest I have found them to be in the minority. Most parents know their children are not perfect. Not sure what parents you hang around with.

And I do agree that parents do have it tough - if you really parent that is - it is not easy to parent. But as a parent I decided to have children so the fact that I added more difficulty onto my life is my choice. I certainly do not harp and complain and whine that things are so much easier for people without children - everyone has stuff; whether it is raising a child, caring for an elderly parent, having a demanding job; having a high maintenance significant other; etc.

If you don't want children - don't have them. I don't know what the big deal is and why you are whining.

I don't think it is necessarily that parents are difficult to be around or the kids; I think it is THE parents and kids you are hanging with. I know single people, childless people that are pain in the a$$ and I know parents that are a pain in the a$$. I prefer to stay away from whiners what ever the heck they have in their lives.
0 Replies
 
hawkeye10
 
  1  
Fri 20 Jun, 2014 02:18 pm
Not liking how parents behave is a poor reason to conclude that you should not be a parent. Do it better than them and the problem is solved.

My brother and his wife decided that they were not going to have kids because they lack patience and they are spoiled, they knew that they would end up resenting the kid(s) for negatively impacting their lives.

Now THAT is a good reason to not have kids.
0 Replies
 
Finn dAbuzz
 
  1  
Fri 20 Jun, 2014 09:49 pm
@nononono,
I can't imagine my life without my kids, but that's me.

If you don't want kids, you don't want kids.

You only have the one life, and kids consume a big part of it.

I tell young people who are expecting their first that being a parent is

20% feeling guilty
20% feeling frustrated and angry
20% feeling worried
20% feeling overwhelmed
20% pure joy

And the moments of pure joy totally make up for all the rest.

Some people will tell you that the joy is there 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Don't believe them.

But if you have any doubts about experiencing the joy, steer clear.
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Sat 21 Jun, 2014 12:11 am
@nononono,
nononono wrote:
I think I still want kids,
DEFINITIONALLY, u must KNOW what u want, right????

I don t see how anyone can WANT something
without KNOWING that he wants it.


nononono wrote:
but now it's mostly just so I can have that holier than thou attitude
that apparently comes with having a child. ...
U mean that parenthood is a COMPETITION for HOLINESS???? Whodathunkit?????!!!





David
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  1  
Mon 23 Jun, 2014 10:15 am
I know about the most extreme situation where a very close friend in their 20s said I never want children that changed her mind. Not to mention she was of a selfish (not in a bad way) way as in career minded, wanting the nicer things in life, etc. and not to mention lack of patience -- all the qualities that would not make a good parent.

She was so adament that she said was going to have her tubes tied at a certain age as she was sure she would never want children. Most doctors will not do this until a certain age because people do change their mind. Well wouldn't you know in her late 30s early 40s after getting married decided she wanted babies. They had difficulty so they opted to adopt. After adopting one baby from overseas, they went and adopted a special needs girl, then another girl that required many operations and special care due to physical reasons. So she has 3 adopted children - 2 of which need even more attention via abuse, physical and/or mental disabilities. Now I hear she is looking at potentially another child with special needs.

Talk about a complete turnaround - she has to have the love and patience greater than anyone to be able to deal with it. I do enjoy though pointing out to her about her frequent talk about NEVER having children.
hawkeye10
 
  1  
Mon 23 Jun, 2014 10:19 am
@Linkat,
A much nicer story than when people are sure they want kids till they actually have kids.
George
 
  1  
Mon 23 Jun, 2014 11:47 am
@hawkeye10,
Amen, brother.
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  1  
Tue 24 Jun, 2014 05:08 am
@hawkeye10,
Yes I completely agree. Better to wait than to end up screwing up some kid.
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Tue 24 Jun, 2014 09:28 am
@hawkeye10,
hawkeye10 wrote:
A much nicer story than when people are sure they want kids
till they actually have kids.
When I have met my girlfriends' kids,
I was able to see their personalities and based thereupon,
I judged how close a friendship to have or to avoid,
the same as with people of ANY age.

Most recently, I taught my girlfriend's son how to shoot a pistol.
We practiced on my 1940 9mm Luger P-'08; its smooth.
He was applying for a job as a NY State parole officer.
He was in danger of rejection for inaccurate shooting skills.
It worked out OK; he 's on-the-job.





David
0 Replies
 
 

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